Transferring to a much lower ranked school?

College Majors Engineering Majors
1

<p>Hello,</p>

<p>Right now I'm at a nationally ranked school for my major and overall university. The thing is, I can't stand being here. I don't like my classes, the people, the dorms, the professors, the academics, or anything. I'm more than unmotivated. It's sad to me because I've really tried to make it work for two years but I feel like I've just wasted time. </p>

<p>I want to transfer to pretty much a no name school that has a high ratio of girls (which is not the case at my current school) and a lot of parties. The problem is my Dad thinks it is a mistake and I will regret it and that employers "won't take me seriously" than if I stayed here. And honestly I will feel at least a little of regret or wonder if I am doing the right thing or giving up something really valuable that will benefit me for the rest of my life. But overall I am very unhappy at the university I'm attending and I feel like I shouldn't "stick it out" and sacrifice happiness. Isn't that what life's about, being happy? </p>

<p>Anyway, sorry to get so deep and write so much. I'm basically asking for advice on how to handle this. If it was my decision right now with "no expectations", I would leave this place in a heart beat. But my dad says "delayed gratification". Any help here?</p>

2

<p>I think you’re right about life being about happiness. But I think in this situation, you’re applying it for the short term. If your current university really is that much better than one where you would transfer to, then I say that two more years and you should try your hardest to make it work and grind through it, because if you sacrifice these next two years, you’ll have two times thirty years to live off its benefits.</p>

<p>However, if it’s really that bad at your current university, why don’t you just transfer to another university that is equally as good in its qualifications, and has an environment that you would be happier or better suited for? The thing is… if you go to this other school, all you’ll want to do is pursue women, drink, and party; basically all of the things that aren’t your academics. It might even be detrimental to your working habits, and might hurt your GPA’s potential at that particular school.</p>

<p>Just my take on it.</p>

3

<p>Your raging hormones have clouded your judgment, but since you are convinced you are miserable where you are, perhaps a college that you and your dad can both agree upon. Maybe a respected state school?</p>

4

<p>How are you performing in your classes?</p>

5

<p>

</p>

<p>Well, this school is pretty much all working (and I’m not exaggerating, this place is known to weed people out, you can probably figure out the school by me saying that the school is known for its students being workaholics). And honestly I feel like my values are very different. I wouldn’t mind slacking off and partying and stuff. I’d say I am a 30% worker and 70% slacker. I make up the rest by being smart but sometimes I wonder how I got into this school or rather decided to attend here.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>That is precisely the reason I am asking other people to give me advice on this decision. Because I feel like I will be making a mistake in hindsight.</p>

<p>I just feel like I’ve been “delaying gratification” too long…I actually want to start doing something I enjoy for once. I don’t want to wait until I retire to start having fun…</p>

<p>Actually I did point out another state school to my dad (where he lives) but I was almost more interested in the no name school because of the higher ratio of women and better reviews about how many parties it has.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I have a 2.7. Pretty much average and I’d say it’s OK for hardly ever studying but bad for transferring and getting a good job after graduating here.</p>

<p>edit- I sleep through my classes</p>

6

<p>OK, a 2.7 and I assume you’ve got 2 years left, maybe some repeat credits, an opportunity in the future for an internship/Co-op. Based off of this scenerio…</p>

<p>First- let me say that a 2.7 is good, your going to get better and you have two years to bring that up above a 3.0. This is very common. You will do this</p>

<p>Second -your frustrated, engineering is a challenge, I’m frustrated too…we all are</p>

<p>Third -you and I know that your dad is right, upon graduation your life is going to take on a dramatic turn for the best </p>

<p>Finally - those other people, you know who they are, their life too is going to take on a dramatic turn upon graduation, only it’s going to be for the worst</p>

7

<p>OP- Maybe you need to take a semester off, to rethink your immediate future. Apparently, you are unmotivated by your classes, sliding by with mediocre grades and increasingly frustrated with the social and dating environment of your current school.
You feel life is passing you by and you want to join the party before the party is over.
Your father wants you to have the best education possible to prepare you for the tough job market. He can’t believe your reasons for wanting to leave a well respected school.
You gotta know that just because you go to a school with a lot of women and parties you could still be shut out-no gf and no invites. Good luck, bro.</p>

8

<p>Unfortunately, I’m not sure you’ll find a “easy” school that offers an “easy” engineering major. Engineering is hard and much harder than other majors.</p>

<p>I bought a house about 18 months after I graduated from college. Upon moving in, a door to door salesman stopped by to try to sell me some frozen chicken (he had an electric cooler in the back of the truck). We got to chatting, and come to find out, he and I went to the same college! He majored in business and probably dropped out.</p>

<p>So - would you rather design rocket engines or sell chicken from the back of your truck? One will require foregoing fun now, the other will be a whole lot more fun right now. Just depends on what you want in life.</p>

9

<p>^hahaha that’s a nice example</p>

10

<p>OP,
How long have you been at your current U? People can change their mind over time about their priorities. There are a** lot **of folks who decide that they wish they had studied harder & gotten the degree from school X in hindsight. I have read/heard of very few folks who in hindsight wish they had partied more & harder in college (especially when they’re having trouble getting a job & paying bills).</p>

<p>I agree that it might be good for you to see if your school will allow you a leave of absence to work & figure out your priorities. This will help you decide what you REALLY want and what will help you most in the LONG TERM to get there.</p>

<p>Good luck–your school counseling office & job placement office can also help you with sorting out some of your options.</p>

11

<p>“I want to transfer to pretty much a no name school that has a high ratio of girls (which is not the case at my current school) and a lot of parties”</p>

<p>are you at GaTech?</p>

12

<p>

</p>

<p>Thanks for the encouragement but I know I can do better with grades, that’s no doubt. What bothers me is that there really is no “end-game” to working. It’s like implied that if you work hard happiness will somehow follow but it’s hard for me to see any of that. To me there is hardly a difference if I make a 2.7 or 3.0 or 4.0, because there will always be more and more work after that. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Tbh, I never really chose engineering, I just kind of happened to go with the flow and things kind of worked out that way. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s that I don’t know of anything else I would like more.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t know, I just want to be happy somewhere.</p>

<p>Almost the sole reason I’ve stayed in school so far, because there aren’t any better alternatives. Or I can’t see any. Yet I feel so confined here I feel I might as well be in prison. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>That might be a good idea…(my dad suggested it earlier and I said no. I just didn’t see how I could magically see college in a different light)</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Yes</p>

<p>Thanks for the suggestions. I know there will be at least some payoff by graduating here (especially with respect to the degree). I just don’t want to be one of those persons who chase something their whole lives (basically sacrificing whatever they REALLY want) and never really find what they’re looking for, or something.</p>

13

<p>

</p>

<p>Here’s the thing, you can make that argument for almost anything. Why clean your house? It’s always going to get dirty again… Why get dressed? You’re just going to have to take your clothes off again eventually… Why get out of bed in the morning? You’re just going to have to get back in it again at night…</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>It sounds like you’re letting life have its way with you, and you’re just along for the ride. Let me ask you this, where do you want to be in five years? Ten years? Let me guess… you don’t know. Which is fine, and somewhat normal – but how the hell can you get somewhere you want to be if you don’t know where you’re going. The world’s a big place, a confusing place, you have to find some direction or you’ll get lost – which it sounds like you are. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Your goal is vague, too vague. Happiness is a fleeting feeling, an emotion. By chasing it you chose to ignore life as it is. It sounds like you’re sheltered, and probably have never gone through much of anything that would truly let you experience pain or sorrow, which allows you to better understand happiness. There are literally billions of people that would kill to walk in your shoes, trust me when I say that you don’t know unhappiness. </p>

<p>I agree with the other poster, and your dad. You need to take some time off and go get a better understanding of life. Do something that will allow you to grow up a little, and better appreciate the life you have. I don’t mean go party, I mean get out into the world and do something that gives you a better taste of life, of living, and a better perspective. If you do that and still feel like partying and women are the way to true happiness, then go do that – but I don’t think you’ll come to that conclusion. The only prison you’re in is the one you’ve built around you. Start making your own decisions and stop going with the flow of things.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Maybe, but you don’t even know what you really want, you just have some extremely vague idea. It sounds to me like other people have made most of your decisions, or at least guided you in a way that you never really questioned enough to go against. It’s time to start becoming your own person. You’re wasting your talent, and time. You have no passion, no direction, no cause to fight for. What you’re doing now will lead you to an uneventful and meaningless life.</p>

14

<p>I guess I should chime in here because I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I was at Cornell (Materials Science) for 3 years and hated it more every semester. I wasn’t applying myself, wouldnt take the initiative to go meet new people, do my problem sets well, etc. I suspect some of these same things are present in your situation as well. These factors put me into a perpetual downward spiral. there were no drugs or alcohol involved, I just didnt care. I didnt have the foresight or courage to see the utility in trying and it sucked. What sucked even more is having my parents help me with Cornell tuition which is not exactly cheap. Anyways, after my third year I failed a bunch of classes. </p>

<p>I took a year off. I needed to pursue something that I was passionate about. As a lifelong hiker, I wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail (2174 miles from GA -> ME). So, I got a job at Tyco as a technician type position to save up some cash, lived at home, and went to pursue something I WANTED to do for a long time. It was the best experience of my life. It acted as a jumpstart to get my out of my funk. I was using hardwork, planning, etc towards something that i wanted. It made work (Tyco) a piece of cake. I wanted to work. I wanted to excel again.</p>

<p>Anyways, after the trail I transferred back to my home, which was also another huge element of “recovery”. I know people here at home. They seem much more “normal” than Cornell. I’m now a 2nd semester senior at UNH (ChemE) with a great GPA (yes the school is somewhat easier, but more importantly, I’m holding up my end of the bargain), having fun, making friends, and ready for the real world.</p>

<p>In summary:

  1. I would recommend taking a year off. Find something you want to do. It really can change your perspective on college.
  2. Get some work experience. It really helped me see what engineers actually do.
  3. Remember why you were the way you were in HS and emulate it. It sounds like you need direction and while you may get suggestions, that choice has to come from you.</p>
15

<p>If you’re at GT, there are more than enough things to do on campus. You’re just not spending time with the right people or even leaving campus (you’re in the middle of a major city).</p>

<p>In my experience, when students “can’t find something to do”, it’s usually their fault, not the school’s. Attractive women won’t walk up to your door, knock, and throw themselves at you. Parties don’t magically appear around you. There’s no one out there who’s job it is to invent fun things for you. You could go to the biggest party school in the country, and the situation would be exactly the same - the women may be more abundant, but if you don’t know how to talk to them, it doesn’t help you much.</p>

<p>The worst thing you can do is transfer to another school, be just as miserable, then not be able to find a job at graduation. Before you transfer, make sure it’s not just you (and considering that there are many people that have a lot of fun on that campus, it probably is).</p>

16

<p>just my two cents…I am on the direct opposite side of the fence. I am at the “no name school” just down the street, and would give anything to get in where you are. I would agree with some that maybe you should take a semester off to get some perspective on the situation, but don’t use that time to prove to yourself that you don’t need a quality education. Take a look at your life, set goals, get your mind in order.The education you will receive at Tech is virtually like no other. Take it from me, a parent of four, in ten years you WILL look back and wish that you delayed gratification just a little longer. In most cases pursuing immediate happiness will exponentially create problems on the long run. I agree with GP and Purduefrank that these perceptions are more or less within you, not around you. Perhaps speaking with a counselor would do some good.</p>

17

<p>

</p>

<p>You clean your house to make a better environment for your family, you get dressed so stay clean and make better impressions, you get out of bed to do the above. Delayed gratification.</p>

<p>College is a huge delayed gratification (esp for engineering) and I just want to know exactly what I’m getting.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Seeing as I’ve been miserable the past two years, I’d have to agree. But how does anyone know where they want to be in 5 or 10 years? I hardly know anyone who knows that. My friend says he wants a nice car after he graduates so he can pick up women. My perception is not far off from that. I spoke to a senior in my hall the other day and he said the main reason for going here is for financial reasons. But I read everywhere that money doesn’t buy happiness, and also that happiness is the most important thing in life. So what gives?</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t understand what you’re saying, is life supposed to be miserable then? Is life all about logic and reasoning and work? I’d have to disagree. " It’s only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found" -John Nash (found that in the movie)</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Sure it’s easy to say that I’m extremely lucky compared to other people around the world. But I think it’s trivial because everything is relative. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>What if I don’t want to grow up? What if I want to be just like Bear Grylls? For some reason I think if I drop out for a while I will only learn to settle for anything, and college compared to anything is a pretty good deal.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>There might be some truth in that I’ve build my own prison, but is that unexpected? “You have to go to a good college, you have to get a good job, etc.” almost my entire life is built upon things other people expect of me. And I kind of have to live in a mortal fear that if I mess up, then my life will be wasted and I’ll be a nobody.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t understand the overall point of your post because it’s kind of a paradox…you say at the beginning that I should delay gratification and then here you say I should take control of my life and start doing things I want to do.</p>

<p>thanks Iateallthepie, I think I might plan on doing that and taking time off either this summer or this fall (I’ve been doing school nonstop since high school in 2007) and maybe find something that interests me. I also am in the co-op program and have at least applied to a few jobs.</p>

<p>G.P. Burdell, while I appreciate your insight, I don’t agree with your dog eat dog climb to the top darwins theory approach to my situation. Perhaps someone with a little less “bias” could offer me advice on how to apply being at Georgia Tech directly to my situation.</p>

18

<p>I wouldn’t say that I was in a similar situation, but at one point I did question why I was going the path that I was. I spent my freshmen year playing World of Warcraft and Halo 2 (ouch, did I just date myself?) and doing somewhat poorly. I got the first C of my life and dropped a few classes in the spring. I ended up getting an internship that summer and after that I think I had straight A’s because I saw how awful the lives were of the non-engineers there.</p>

<p>I think the best thing you could do for yourself is to get out there and work some.</p>

<p>p.s. I can sympathize with you that undergrad at GT can be pretty awful. There’s a big push right now to get feedback on how to change GT’s curriculum, and one of the things that come up is “takes too many credits to graduate”, which is probably one reason why you don’t look forward to continuing.</p>

19

<p>I think your took a few of these posts the wrong way, schaden. GP was just saying that you should try and make a better effort to help yourself in the situation you’re in, instead of just accepting misery. Purduefrank (I think it was him anyway) was just saying that not everyone knows what they want to do, but you can mostly have a good idea of what you -should- be doing in order to get yourself in a good position, ten or twenty years down the road. </p>

<p>These explanations are seemingly obvious, but you’re dancing around them. You just want to be happy right now, and it’s not like you’re alone. Everyone wants to always be happy, but you can’t be [always]. Saying that it doesn’t matter how much fortunate you are than other people because it’s relative… honestly that doesn’t sound good enough. You want to know what you’re getting? Well you’re in the co-op program, you should be seeing soon enough. You already know that you will be living a very comfortable lifestyle, should you choose to put in the effort in being a good engineer and making advancements in the work place. You already know some of the material, and I’ll assume that you know your discipline as well.</p>

<p>If you keep feeling sorry for yourself, you’ll find it hard to get out of your misery. You have to be optimistic about what your hard work will bring to you in the future. You just have to keep reminding yourself. Nothing is easy, especially not engineering school, but you can definitely do a lot to help yourself feel better about going through it.</p>

<p>By your remark about your friend wanting a car to pick up women… it seems like the people you’re surrounding yourself with have the wrong priorities. Could it be possible that’s contributing to it as well? You’re smart, clearly, if you’ve skated by with an average GPA. Don’t let your potential go to waste. Hopefully if/when you take some time off, you’ll have a better outlook on life.</p>

20

<p>

</p>

<p>What you’re getting, depends on who you ask. It could be to get a good job, a good education, to expand your knowledge, meet new people, take intermediary steps to living on your own – or you could get nothing out of it. It really depends on you, what do you want out of it?</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>And you’re not alone. However, most people never question it. Their parents or counselors tell them to go to school and get good grades, to get a good job, to have a nice life. These people take it at face value, follow the path, and are either happy doing that and agree with the advice or don’t have the courage to do anything else. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Your friend, no offense, is more confused than you – he just doesn’t know it. Don’t listen to him.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>My point is that life isn’t only about being happy. The greatest people in history sacrificed their lives for causes greater than their own happiness. When I am happy, I know that at some point it will diminish and turn to either sadness, anger, loneliness, compassion or some other fleeting feeling, which will then give way to another. I will never chase happiness, and even if I did – I would look for it within myself, not my surroundings. If you think everything is relative, you’re just naïve and ignorant. Withdraw from school, take the money from your classes and buy a plane ticket to Haiti, Eastern Europe, South America, the middle east, or Africa. Get face to face with what you speak blindly about, then tell me it’s relative.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Growing up doesn’t mean you have to follow the beaten path, it means you have to learn who you are. If you want to be like Bear Grylls, fine. I don’t agree with settling, and that’s not what I’m advising you to do. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Listen, the point I’m trying to make is that you don’t seem to believe what people are telling you. Sometimes you have to learn things for yourself, and that’s what I’m suggesting you do. Going to another school is a bad idea, staying there and half assing it is a bad idea – so go do something else. Come back and finish your degree when you start to understand why people have given you the advice they did.</p>