Trouble getting kid to complete apps?

<p>xaniamom, many of us have felt like this at various points during the summer and into early fall months. I agree with the post that said it seems to be easier for some kids to focus on one application rather than looking at a process or a common app that is not geared toward one specific school. When my S saw an 11/1 deadline approaching, he got it together with recs and working to finish this one application. The others have fallen into place, and he is much more organized about the process. </p>

<p>Perhaps you could connect the deadline of the one school in which he is interested with other deadlines. Also, I find that if I did some research and suggested a particular university or college my son would take it seriously and think about it (even if he did not say so).</p>

<p>Thanks for the great suggestions. I have managed to put the applications in order by their deadlines (one is free if in by a certain time, others have early admission or rolling admin which would be good to have underway). </p>

<p>Most of the envelopes with activities lists, counselor rec/transcript requests, etc. are ready to go to the GC without copies of the essays (GC office has suggested including paper copies of the essays “just in case”). He can take them to the GC next week and add the essays later or send them separately. ACT has been sent to everyone, SAT is waiting for Subject test results. All online applications and paper applications are complete except for the essays and the “mom check”. </p>

<p>We’ve elected to focus primarily on two of the essays - one for an 11/1 early deadline, and another one which will likely be used for 3 or 4 of the applications with minor modifications if necessary.</p>

<p>^Sounds like you’re in pretty good shape. I’d definitely get the GC packets in–even without the essays. Sometimes it is nice for an adult to look at the kid’s essay to check it for “tone.” But you can do that on your own. </p>

<p>Two essays, covering two important-to-him aspects of your S about which he wants to tell the admissions committee, are great. We found that there was often a way to tweak the essays to fit what the application asked. </p>

<p>One thing to realize–many applications have different word limits for their essays, so you may have to have long and short versions of the essays. Just a heads up–you’ll figure it out as you work on the actual apps.</p>

<p>Have him choose his first choice university and work on that one. Once he has clicked the Submit button on that one, let him choose his next favorite and so on. Hopefully, these chunks of work will get him through all 8. </p>

<p>Have him complete the applications by deadline date rather than his favorites. </p>

<p>I would employ the “velvet hammer”. Calmly tell him that he can go do X (fun event), once Y (an application or two) is completed.</p>

<p>A lot of essays can be “re-used,” and adapted from one application to another - unless it’s a really specific prompt.</p>

<p>You’re lucky- you have a list and time yet. Couldn’t get gifted son to apply to more than 3 schools- and one app submitted by midnight CALIFORNIA time… He wouldn’t listen to suggestions for additional schools, sigh. He’s done well at his flagship U. Do be sure your son does optional essays.</p>

<p>I made sure both my kids had an EA school on their list so that they got their Common App essays nailed by October. (My kids meet deadlines, but not till the last minute.) Your kid probably feels like he has plenty of time. Personally, I think you shouldn’t push too hard. If he’s ready to go to college he’ll meet the deadlines. If he isn’t ready he won’t.</p>

<p>I would employ the “velvet hammer”. </p>

<p>Sorry, I meant to say DEploy…</p>

<p>OP, would it make you feel any better if I told you my DS has only filled out the Common App basics, no essay, no supplement, nothing else?! And he intends to submit three by the magic Nov. 1 deadline. Sigh. In his defense, it has been an incredibly busy summer/fall from an academic and EC standpoint, and he has worked hard and performed to potential on all, which will serve him well in the college app game. But still…I am freaking. A little.</p>

<p>Our first child, DD, did everything on her own and on time–just called upstairs for the credit card number whenever she needed to push “submit.” It’s clearly going to take more parental involvement to get this one to the finish line!</p>

<p>A friend of mine who has done this three times shared her method for dealing with those precious “challenging cases.” Every Sat. or Sun., whichever works best, through the fall/winter until the last app’s done, she has a standing lunch date with her senior at a place of senior’s choice. Afterwords, they go to a public library, Barnes & Noble, etc.–somewhere out of distraction range–and spend 2-3 hours tackling a defined project, e.g., one essay or a school supplement, whatever is a priority. And then, “college apps” are done for that week…no parental nagging allowed until the next weekend date! </p>

<p>A tortoise method, to be sure, but it worked for them. I’ve given my DS a bye 'til now, but this weekend, it’s game on! I’m trying The {Friend} Method. I hope it works for us!</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>This won’t help for this year’s apps, but here’s a suggestion anyway-- why not get all the essays done over the summer before senior year? Of course that means you have to know which colleges you’re applying to, but if you can nail that down and get essays done before school starts in the fall, wouldn’t that put you way ahead of the game?</p>

<p>Disclaimer: I have no experience–yet–with college apps. My oldest is a HS junior. But we are definitely going to tackle the essays next summer. :)</p>

<p>^^ Summer’s a great goal if you can fit it in! You may find it more challenging than you predict depending on what your student ends up doing over the summer.</p>

<p>“-- why not get all the essays done over the summer before senior year?” - That’s a great suggestion (especially when you can find the prompts), but many students can’t seem to get in gear to do that. In our case, DS was busy with his IB extended essay in the summer before college apps.</p>

<p>BfloGal -The common application and also most colleges that require essays don’t have their essay prompts available until sometime in August. Unfortunately by then, most kids are into their fall practices, etc. </p>

<p>There is, however, no reason why a student cannot have their resume up to date. This will simplify the app process and be one less thing to worry about.</p>

<p>As a life time procrastinator I need to say 10/16 is not necessarily crunch time for applications due 11/1 and it is certainly not for aplications due 12/1 or 1/1 if your son is a procrastinator. I think a big parenting challenge during this process is if the parent and child have different styles for getting things done … especially if the child is a procrastinator and a parent is a planner/get things done early person. Getting things done on the parent’s schedule will not necessarily yield the best applications. For me, at 51, it is still true if I try to do things too far in advance of due dates that the work comes out flat and far from my best … I need some time pressure to spark creativity and passion. I am not advocating letting the kid do whatever they want but as long as they have time to review materials and drafts things might go better and tirn out better. Frankly, starting more than 4-5 days before the due date would never work for me … when I see the comments about making kids complete applications or essays in the summer I literally have a physical reaction as that would have been a DISASTER for me. </p>

<p>For some kids completing the work early may work better, reduce stress, and help them produce a better product … however for other students the result might be just the opposite. For my kids I want to see a schedule that works but is built off how they work not how I do.</p>

<p>I agree with 3togo. My son had no college apps or essays done at this point. But, he applied RD to 4 schools, completed the applications on time without nagging, and got accepted to them all. Even D, who applied to 8 schools and works on things ahead of time, had only completed some essays because of NMF paperwork and another nomination scholarship. No essays, or any other work, for college apps were done at this point. She got accepted to all 8 schools including several “elite” schools. Of course, I was fretting on the inside and biting my tongue. </p>

<p>Sometimes, you have to trust your kid.</p>

<p>October 16th – neither of my kids had apps done by that point, though both had 11/1 EA and Priority deadlines. For both of them, these were schools at the top of their lists and the financial/merit/academic likely admit, so it was a big hurdle to meet early, but if they ran out of time and energy, at least they had the important apps done, with one serious RD each for 1/1 if they really had to cut it to the bone. Activity resumes were done by this point, but those kept changing all the way through the process, esp. with S1. Essays were in the re-write/edit process. Both had info to the GC done by the end of junior year (GCs write letters over the summer) and had rec letter stuff to teachers in early September. At least THAT part was out of our hair. Both had EA and Priority apps done a few days before the 11/1 deadline. Heard too many horror stories from CC about system crashes at the last minute!</p>

<p>I helped with administrivia, labels, shuttling kids to the PO, typing in some basic data. I always sat with them as they submitted an app just in case there were problems. (We had a fun family ritual…) Also baked brownies, brought food to the computer room, let them sleep late on Saturdays, wrote notes for mental health days when needed.</p>

<p>Issues with doing essays over the summer: S1 did this, but then completely changed them in October. OTOH, at least he was thinking about them, which is usually the hardest and most time-consuming part. S2 was working on Extended Essay for IB. He did write his Common App activity essay while camping Labor Day weekend. Wrote about his love of cooking as he was making boeuf bourguignon over an open fire. Cranked that baby out and hardly changed a comma after that. Wish the rest were that easy!</p>

<p>S2 had seven IB classes, 25 hrs/week of football, plus debate, Extended Essay, Internal Assessments and the TOK paper fall of senior year. It was NOT pretty, and frankly, got darned scary.</p>

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<p>love that word!</p>

<p>College apps time is no different from spring AP/SAT/ACT testing time or mid terms and finals. There are times when we are called to multi task and the skills in play here are time management and organization. S worked well with deadlines set by himself (with our help). Still, he was a teen who needed some pushing to get it done.</p>

<p>As parents, it is more helpful to focus on the development of these skills rather than the filling out of the apps and writing essays. S also had a “recycled” essay - just as a previous poster suggested. He got a lot of mileage from one well written piece that he just had to tweak as needed!</p>