<p>So I tried really hard back in August to get S to work on his (8) applications and their sundry parts and pieces, but he didn't get much past filling out online sections. After a losing battle in September, we are now getting into crunch time. He has 6 essays, none of which are completed. Nothing has gone to the GC yet. Every night there are activities, homework, dinner, facebook, etc. etc. and, gee, no time for essays. I feel like all I do is nag, nag, nag.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, he only wants to apply to 2 places (one of which he knows we can't pay for), so he will have only 1 option in April and probably zero chance of merit aid (why would they waste merit money trying to lure him away from some other place if there is none?).</p>
<p>I'm ready to toss the mess up into the air and declare that it's all up to him. I hate this. I really, really hate this.</p>
<p>certain state schools only require your scores, essays optional or not required, in cal. it is csu for example. You should consider those as safety and just fill out the apps.</p>
<p>and certain common apps schools really need only one essay for all and try those as well.</p>
<p>The schools don;t know how many you have applied to so they will give merit money based on quality of the students.</p>
<p>If getting him to apply is tough, think of how tough it will be to get him to go to class each day. Especially when he gets stuck in 8 am Chemistry.</p>
<p>D was having the same problem until I had her focus on one application at a time instead of thinking about the whole group of applications. Have him choose his first choice university and work on that one. Once he has clicked the Submit button on that one, let him choose his next favorite and so on. Hopefully, these chunks of work will get him through all 8.</p>
<p>we “grounded” both D and S (6 years difference) and sat in the room with them until it was done. Even turned their friends away from the door. It was grueling but it worked. It takes a lot of furious energy to make it work. But then it IS done. Then you wait.</p>
<p>should mention both did/are doing just fine in college. those app’s are just overwhelming and regular life more interesting. Guess it was our version of handholding.</p>
<p>I say push him. As dignified advises, break it into manageable pieces. This is crunch time. It will be an unpleasant 2 months until deadlines. After that, it will be out of his hands and he’ll be free to enjoy his senior year while waiting for responses.</p>
<p>Last fall, my S applied to 9 schools - 6 of them were in the 2 state systems and 3 were OOS or private. In retrospect, only 5 of them were real contenders. Maybe you can compromise - he can apply to 2 of his choices and 2 of yours. I threw 2 of my choices into the mix and he ended up really considering one of them (but didn’t choose it in the end.)</p>
<p>So, I’m here one year later - my S got into his first choice (and one we could afford). We just talked this evening and he is very happy - involved in on campus organizations and DOING his homework! :)</p>
<p>Good Luck to you and your son!</p>
<p>(I also think the Taco Bell app is brilliant! lol)</p>
<p>Start with one that has rolling admissions and is a safety. You’ll all feel better with one in hand. Omit any you are not willing to pay for. Put those with questionable aid at the end. If he doesn’t get to them, that’s less paperwork for you.
He has to decide what’s important and how bad he wants it. Reminders, leaning even, are one thing. It shouldn’t be a battle.</p>
<p>Oh, and I would hault everything until he gets his paperwork to his GC. That’s non-negotiable unless he wants to go to community college next year. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t sound like his goal. I’d ‘clear his schedule’ until that’s done. That will be a huge weight lifted.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, he only wants to apply to 2 places (one of which he knows we can’t pay for), so he will have only 1 option in April and probably zero chance of merit aid (why would they waste merit money trying to lure him away from some other place if there is none?).</p>
<p>??? how would they know that your son has no other offers?</p>
<p>BTW…there is a thread of Fast and Easy Apps. (see below) Maybe he can send a few in from here…most don’t require any essays or teacher recs. Sometimes parents fill them out because there’s literally very little to do except put in basic info and send in transcripts and test scores. some take less than 10 minutes to fill out! Many offer merit as well.</p>
<p>One of my kids was paralyzed by the prospect of applying to colleges. I ended up applying to two of those fast and easy apps for her (I didn’t write any essays, even short ones, nor get any recommendations, just filled out the form) and told her she would be stuck going to one of those colleges unless she got off the ball and applied to a few places of her own. Fwiw, she was accepted at both colleges to which I applied her and one gave her a nice merit scholarship (with her own laptop and mentoring) and the other was the college she ended up attending!</p>
<p>You mention on another thread that your child would need merit to attend a private school. So, I would just cut down the list of apps to maybe one reach and keep only a few that I knew the kid would get good merit from. Why bother with a bunch of unaffordable schools?</p>
<p>(I agree with 2college. Many parents end up submitting a couple of EZ apps (no essays) for their kids. My SIL was just talking about submitting a few for her son who’s busy right now with school and football demands.)</p>
<p>OP, please know you are not alone and it doesn’t mean your kid won’t do well in college. My older daughter went right down to the wire and this one is on track to do the same thing. She has a ton of home work and her ECs are on overload. Even on a good night where she might have an hour free, it’s not the block of time she needs to get down to business on essays. I asked her to figure out a day to take off from school and get it done. I think hearing about her peers already getting into schools is motivating her a little but it is beyond frustrating.</p>
<p>You need to give yourself and him a breather, perhaps a couple of days and before you back off give him the due date for one essay/college. Just do it bit by bit.</p>
<p>My son could not do them all either and so I made it simpler by doing just one EA which was on common app and so 1 main essay got done. The first is the hardest. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Its so overwhelming for them. They need you but not to nag constantly.</p>
<p>If one of the colleges is a college that he is willing to attend and you can afford and he will be accepted then he doesn’t need 8 applications. Notch your expectations back abit regarding this and your perception about what is “normal.” S1 applied to three plus we had a “parent choice” to which we “made” him complete an application. He got accepted everywhere and there was not angst or arguing. S2 had a pretty similar experience minus the “parent choice.” Some kids aren’t interested in considering a whole bunch of colleges. Ask him to designate a day and time to get his applications finished…let him pick that day and time. On that day and time remind him that he made the appointment and suggest he put the cell phone in another room then get out of the way and don’t hover. Bring him a snack or soda at some point and be encouraging. If kids come to the door tell the friends that he is busy and when he’s done he’ll call them. Make it his decision which day and what time. This doesn’t need to be a game changing experience if searching the country for a college if the kid isn’t interested in going in that direction.</p>
<p>You say you hate to let it go and declare that it is up to him. But step back a minute and turn that around perhaps. It is…all up to him. If you’ve discussed the finances and he understands the task and the possible outcomes then what else are you going to do?</p>
<p>I can really sympathize having gone through this with 4 children! With the 4th one I thought I would go ballistic! We would have them do them one at a time & a deadline on the calendar for getting it submitted. If it wasn’t submitted by that day (usually a Friday) then he/she couldn’t go anywhere on the weekend until it was done! That usually worked & got them submitted ahead of the deadlines. </p>
<p>I faithfully kept my Excel Spreadsheets going with all the Deadlines, SATs sent etc. To this day, they all tease me about my Spreadsheets! </p>
<p>With the 4th one, he only applied to 5 schools & was accepted to 4 schools.
He ended up at his #1 Choice & it all worked out. But he wouldn’t play the game of applying to 10-12 schools or casting a wide net, he didn’t dress up for interviews! Actually he probably never took our advice at all! </p>
<p>I had two kids who were VERY busy with schoolwork and extra curriculars–and to add applying to college on top of that? September through December of senior year was a nightmare! I feel your pain.</p>
<p>Since you are hitting a time crunch, it is time to get practical and here’s what I would do (and some will disapprove)…</p>
<p>First, the two of you need to decide which schools he will apply to and rank the colleges by the difficulty of the applications. Which applications don’t require essays or have essay questions that can be fulfilled with essays already written? Those apps go on top. Applications that require new essays that need to be written go on the bottom. Like a previous poster suggested, I’d start with the easiest to finish application and work on that with a time frame in mind (“This weekend, you will submit the XYZ University application.”). Then move to the next easiest one on the next weekend.</p>
<p>Second, I would do everything that is administrative in nature on the application. To the extent the application is merely asking for factual material as in classes taken, extracurriculars participated in or test scores received, etc., go ahead and fill that information in on the application. </p>
<p>Third, you should get the GC packets together (fill out the paperwork and get the self-addressed stamped envelopes all done) and have your S take them in. No reason why the GC should suffer by having to write recommendations under pressure because S is late with his paperwork. Be sure to order transcripts to be sent to the GC.</p>
<p>Fourth, you should take charge of ordering test results to be sent to the universities.</p>
<p>Fifth, I would set different weekends aside to have S finish up applications to different universities–including essays. The ones that require a lot of essays to be written from scratch can be finished during the Holiday Break in December. Be aware of the application deadlines! You may find that your S will decide not to apply to some of those schools, when the rubber meets the road.</p>
<p>Does this involve the parent too much in the application process? Absolutely! But if the family wants (and needs) options in the spring which requires a number of applications in the fall and they have a student who is super busy, then it is best to leverage your student’s time and to use it to the best advantage. That means your student’s time is best served writing essays and answering any short question section.</p>
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