<p>Lately, I have regretably admitted that my habits of procrastination have lead me where I stand today, and more. During my sophmore year in the so called "learning institution" I initially approached the aspect of college admittance lightly. As I avidly read post after post on CC, I felt as if I was more superior than my colleagues. In reality, however, I am a dimwitted fool as my friends, if not worse. Let me take you in the past to my middle school years, I became dramatized of violent thoughts because of the sinister influence of hispanic bullies. I can still remember the name of some of the bullies, I blame my parents for never even considering me into the honors program (They're immigrants from Asia for godsake). I knew that my shot at a top-tier college was flat. When my freshman year came, I earned straight A's in all regular classes. My sophmore year was the year I screwed up encompassing my timidness affecting myself to avoid club meetings, etc.
My junior year is my last chance. Heres the courses I willl be taking.
AP Biology
AP English
AP Calc AB
AP American History
Calculus hon. (Prerequisite to AP Calc AB) My ranking is in the top 20%...</p>
<p>Sigh, life is really hitting me hard. Not just school, but my dreaded memory of the past. Oh yeah, did I mention that I cut all my close relationships with my friends because of how dramatized I was from middle school?
Did I mention that I cried when I wasn't eligible to compete in a math competition ( Messed up system, I had to skip 2 math classes just to join the math team.)
Barely any friends, hate family, poor grades and habits, ugly scar across my face..</p>
<p>yet, I am still trying to be hopeful of a 2400, straight A's. *** life.</p>
<p>Sometimes I feel like this. Like there isn't any point and I'm never going to succeed. I am so lucky to have amazing friends. I'll feel like crying and talk to them and feel how lucky I am, to be alive.</p>
<p>"If we do not find something pleasant, at least we shall find something new"-Voltaire</p>
<p>Just keep in mind that 1) It seriously does not matter if you go to a top tier college or not. The only thing that makes it matter is other people's perceptions. But it's all about fit, not prestige. Even if 99% of the people that you know try to convince you otherwise. 2) While you may be procrastinating, you are on CC a lot earlier than perhaps 90% of the posters here. That's likely to help you at least a little, and you'll have a lot more knowledge about the college admissions process than most of your peers when you do end up applying to so-called top tier colleges. Most of your peers don't think about college until senior year. 3) Just remember, life sucks. There are always better things to come, and keep your head up. And try your best to remember it is best to affect others, not have others affect you aka take control of your own life. Don't let your parents, bullies, or anyone convince you that you are not "good enough." (all easier said than done)</p>
<p>I have before, many times. It is weird, people so often depend on friends to help them, but it is my friends which end up being the root of the problem. There are those exceptions though. Those people who know you so well and help you so much,but as we all know, nothing stays the same. Those people inevitably change and I inevitably change and <em>POOF</em> things are different, causing me to adjust my body to the foreign environmment....But then again, who really cares!? Once you get into college, you get to leave all of that behind!</p>
<p>I don't feel like that now, but I certainly have before. The best thing to do is to find yourself a support system. I found that while I had more time to nit-pick my homework and test prep without many friends, I was a much happier person with a core group and then some "fluff" friends to hangout with whenever. You need energy to get through life, and though some people are conditioned to think they can survive alone, you need friends to get it through the tough times. This summer is the perfect opportunity to make those friends, because you don't have school troubles weighing on you (and don't let them weigh on you, because it summer!). Once school starts, you'll have them with whom to talk it out when you're feeling down.</p>
<p>Keep in mind you are only half-way through high school. Try joining some activities and clubs you're interested in, and not only will you increase your chances at top tier colleges, but you will make some friends as well. Don't let your tough past make life miserable now. </p>
<p>Also, be careful of going from all regular classes to all AP classes, you may find this to very stressful. Don't fall into the trap of believing that perfect scores are the sole pursuit of life. With this, don't blame your parents for the honors class situation, they may not have fully understood how this worked (seeing as they are immigrants).</p>
<p>It seems to me, the only thing holding you back is your present pessimistic outlook on life.</p>
<p>And if that fails, remember, you can be a masculine guy and still wear foundation. Department-store cosmetics > gloppy scar makeup or none at all.</p>
<p>Seriously, have you considered seeing a doctor? The fact that your grades and outlook on life dropped so suddenly is worrying. If you have depression, ADD, a hormonal imbalance, or something else that's affecting your grades and ability to make friends, taking care of it could help you a lot.</p>
<p>Don't think about the past- you can't change it anyway.
Just worry about trying to get your present and future into shape.</p>
<p>Try your best to change yourself for the better now.</p>
<p>But if that doesn't work- once you're off in college, you won't have to see your family, and you will be in the same boat as everyone else making new friends. Habits and grades should be easier to change in a new environment.</p>
<p>you said you earned straight As and are hoping for a 2400. There's life past high school. Hopefully, you can look back one day at all the bullies who will be pumping your gas.</p>