I got a few bad grades my freshman year… Straight Dean’s List every grading period since. Trying to transfer.
Dealt with plenty of hardship: homelessness, domestic violence, abuse, etc. I’ve only told one of my professors about these issues (because I don’t trust anyone else…and I know these issues carry a huge stigma that could ruin my professors’ opinions of me), and now I’m trying to ask for letters of rec. Unfortunately, this professor says that I should write about these circumstances in my applications. This seems like complete bunk, because I’ve read that colleges hate when applicants write about their own hardships, as they then seem like excuses. To this end, I read that colleges want recommendation writers to comment on the hardship. However, as I said, my professor does not seem to want to do this. Thus, I feel like I’m screwed. What am I supposed to do?
First off, when talking about personal hardships in college essays, you need to tread VERY, VERY lightly. Above all, if you choose to write about this, you need to conclude the essay with some sort of “resolution” (eg. “Before __ was happening in my life, but now I’m a Dean’s List student!”) Not wrapping up your essay somehow will seem as if you’re still going through these hardships, or it might rub admissions the wrong way. The topics you’re thinking of tackling will make you stand out as an applicant, which in my opinion is too good to pass up.
I feel as if you asked your professor to discuss these things in his recommendation letter. To be clear, a recommendation letter is essentially a “second opinion” of sorts. A professor is supposed to talk about you as a student, and perhaps his / her personal opinion of you. It’s not supposed to echo what you may talk about in your essays.
Ignore what colleges “want” and “don’t want” of you. Think about what YOU specifically want to write about. You should not be involved in your professors’ recommendation writing. He / she will write whatever they deem to be appropriate, and while they will not comment on your hardship, they will write their recommendation with your hardships in mind.
Trying to give colleges what they want to hear will seem disingenuous. Coming off as a liar is the worse thing you can possible do.
best of luck!