<p>Hey, I'm an international student who is trying to transfer to Oberlin from CUNY Hunter in NYC. I'm having trouble with my essay answering the prompt "Why do you want to transfer?" I really want to go to Oberlin for many reasons. To be honest, probably the most important reasons are the fact that it is much smaller and the classes have fewer people in them and the relationships I could build there would be more lasting than at Hunter. Ii realize that it's early in the year and I might grow to like Hunter, but I applied to Oberlin last year and got rejected, so I am trying to transfer. I've given my essay to a couple of friends to read, and they have found flaws in it that they pointed out. I realized they are probably right, but I am having a lot of trouble changing my essay to sound better and more appealing to a college counselor. I really would appreciate any suggestions at all on how to make this better, and hopefully good enough to get into Oberlin. I really want to go.</p>
<p>This is what I have so far:</p>
<p>After I moved to New York from the small country of Moldova in Eastern Europe, I spent a good half a year adapting to my new environment and a new high school. While it wasn’t easy to get used to all the new people and academic structure at my school, I loved the new aspects it brought into my life. It was a small school, with a tight knit community and it had a sense of closeness. I met amazing people and teachers who shared their views openly and were not afraid of offering help. It opened a whole new chapter in my life and in no time, I started feeling like home. </p>
<p>Upon entering post-secondary education at CUNY Hunter, I came to realize that the college is not a good match for my interests and goals. I applied to Hunter because I liked being in the city and it felt like the place for me, but after studying here for four years I am now excited to explore and undergo the challenges of a college in a new environment that would stimulate me academically. Although Hunter has brought new and valuable resources to my life and has provided me with a great selection of interesting academics, it has not provided me with the social aspect that I desire, nor with the career opportunity and majors I would like to pursue. </p>
<p>My reasons for transferring to Oberlin are both academic and social. I have met wonderful people and professors at Hunter. However, I believe that I would be happier at Oberlin. I wish to pursue a major in Environmental Studies. Unfortunately, Hunter College does have the option of that major. It would be the wrong choice for my college career to continue my education here, due to the fact that I would be heavily inconvenienced in studies of my field. I think Hunter is a great match for some people, but I would prefer to pursue my studies at Oberlin, where this major has a vast field of opportunities and classes. I am in love with the Adam Joseph Lewis Center for Environmental Studies. The practical curriculum of the Environmental Studies major at Oberlin is fascinating. The fact that it encompasses both environmental issues that have arisen in the past and prepares students for challenges that might arise at a later time is an important aspect of a successful career in that field.</p>
<p>Socially, there are things that I would like to accomplish. Most importantly, I would like to make new friends and meet people who would provide me with a similar experience to what I had in high school and stay with me past college. I believe that that would provide me with an opportunity to grow as a person. I like Oberlin for its amazing ability to bring people together. Oberlin would allow me to pursue my interests and develop significant connections with both students and professors. It is difficult to make strong ties at a school such as Hunter, which has twenty thousand students. I would like to be in smaller classes where students could discuss among themselves or with the professor, rather than always be in lecture classes. I know I would be comfortable in such an environment and I would find people I would connect to. </p>
<p>I am convinced that I would do well at Oberlin, where I could meet exceptional people and would be allowed to pursue the academic goals I have set for myself.</p>
<p>I should also probably mention that I am not great at writing about myself, and also that I plan on writing another essay for Oberlin that is a supplement with thee prompt "Given your interests, values, and goals, explain why Oberlin College will help you grow (as a student and a person) during your undergraduate years." This will be more focused on social aspects and I will visit Oberlin so it will be more from experience. (I'm saying this because I don't want the two essays to be repetitive).</p>