<p>Surely Bill Clinton has to be blamed for this at least a little bit. When today’s college students were still playing with Tonkas and Barbies, they heard endless reports on TV about the President using the Oval Office as a DNA depository, and a lot of their parents thought there was nothing wrong with it. By the time Bush moved in the Oval Office, a black-light inspection of the room would have looked like a Gateway computer box.</p>
<p>^The porn industry explosion into the mainstream during our kids’ adolescence probably hasn’t helped either. It made the idea of watching others have sex/doing it while others are watching, seem acceptable.</p>
<p>S2’s college student newpaper has a section for students to write in anonymous random comments. Here are a couple fr. this week:</p>
<p>“To my neighbors in XYZ Hall: I can hear you two going at it. Seriously, I’m trying to play video games and your gf’s moaning is interrupting my concentration”</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>“To the sex addict on the third floor:P lease stop with the insane amts. of sex at the most random times of the day. I can hear the squeaking through my ceiling. Thanks”</p>
<p>and lastly</p>
<p>“To the couple dancing by the fountain (a campus focal point)the other night: I want you to know two things…1) you guys were so freaking adorable I almost vomited a little in my mouth and 2)while you guys were walking away, I saw your gf flash you. LUCKY MAN.”</p>
<p>Yes, they actually print this stuff. From what I’ve seen, the “rant” section is the most popular part of the student newspaper. Apparantly, anything goes.
The things kids learn in college…</p>
<p>You just had to bring the lacrosse team into this, Schmaltzy!!! Shame, shame…how about the glee club?? ;)</p>
<p>Scmaltz - ‘Johnson’ Schmaggle ? Please tell me that’s really the name of the Tufts president. That would be too funny.</p>
<p>WAy back in the day, my freshman roommate thought nothing of bringing every guy she met ever back to the room and getting it on. I think she thought she was making a political commentary on how “liberated” she was…</p>
<p>She was condescending and obnoxious and insisted that she wasn’t kicking me out…I was welcome to stay and use my bed, what she did on her bed was her business …</p>
<p>So one night I more or less took her at her word…went out with friends, came back with friends, …walked right in to our room with pizza to eat on my trunk/table…and, of course, walked right in on roomie who was “busy” as usual. We sat down, dove in to the pizza, and rather loudly criticqued their “performance” move by move.(obviously my friends had been primed in advance).</p>
<p>Roomie was NOT amused.</p>
<p>But from that night on, I was not shy about being in or using my room, either alone or with my friends. Roomie had not been interested in compomising or working things out earlier, and she still wasn’t…but I told her just what she had told me before, that I wasn’t stopping her from doing whatever she wanted to on her bed…</p>
<p>Maybe it wasn’t the most mature way of handling the situtation, but the RA was not able to reason with roomie either (our floor was one with 24 hour visitation)…</p>
<p>It doesn’t surprise me AT ALL that there are plenty of male students anywhere who wouldn’t let a pair or prying eyes disrupt their romantic momentum. But I must say that it surprises me that there are enough top-10%-of-their-high-school-class females at Tufts that don’t mind an audience for it to be a problem. One would sort of expect such brazen women at colleges where half the females are there because Hooters wasn’t hiring…but Tufts? When I was going to Boston College a while ago, I used to laugh at all the strip clubs that had signs that said something like “All Nude College Girl Revue.” Because [unfortunately] I didn’t know any uninhibited college girls, I kind of assumed there weren’t many. But perhaps those signs were for real. Maybe all the dancers were from Tufts. Do you know where your Tufts daughter is tonight?</p>
<p>It happened to me also. My freshman roommate used to bring her dates home and neither she nor the date cared that I was (supposedly) asleep in my bed. </p>
<p>After 3 or so times (with 3 or so different partners), I finally got up in the middle of one of her sessions, grabbed my blanket and pillow and slept on a friend’s floor. </p>
<p>And it still continued! Despite me talking to her about it, despite talking to the RA about it etc…</p>
<p>boysX3-
Great, GREAT plan!! Do you have a scorecard on each of the roommies partners? That would be entertaining reading. If you’d let each of roomie’s “visitors” know you planned to compare and share their “score” (pun intended) with others, perhaps that might have dissuaded a few of them??</p>
<p>And schmaltz – gateway computer box!! LOL. Great imagery.</p>
<p>jym, </p>
<p>I really like the twist you put on my scheme! I wish I had thought of it at the time!</p>
<p>I hadn’t thought about it in years, but recently my BFF’s daughter suffered with a roomie similar to mine—and told her daughter this story! My BFF is one of the friends who had pizza and made commentary with me on that infamous night! And she called to tell me she had advised her daughter to do the same thing!</p>
<p>Remembering that night, I haven’t laughed so hard in years! I do remember that our running commentary that night was not in the least complimentary of the performance we were witnessing…</p>
<p>I have to say that this thread has been a revelation. In my callow and unpuritanical youth, I never – never – heard about people having sex with a roommate in the room, unless maybe he or she was completely, utterly, and reliably passed out (what we now call “alcohol poisoning”). Not in a women’s room, and certainly not in a men’s room.</p>
<p>Accidental walk-in-ons? Sure. Eye-rolling at the noises behind a door? Of course. People who abused the privilege of being afforded some privacy? Absolutely. “Would you guys mind finding somewhere else to do that tonight I have a midterm at 8:00”? Sometimes. But deliberately doing it with an unwilling audience? Or being that audience, and not leaving in disgust? Completely outside the realm of my experience, personal or vicarious. (Well, in high school I did do some serious making-out in rooms full of sleeping-bagged youth group members. But very, very, very quietly. And fully, if loosely, clothed.)</p>
<p>It’s interesting that this seems to have been more of an issue in women’s rooms. Not the women I knew! Or maybe that’s just a reflection of the gender balance on this board. My daughter never had a roommate, so this certainly wasn’t an issue in her life. My son did have a roommate his first year, and so did his first-year girlfriend, so maybe someday I’ll ask him, but I can’t see either of them in that mode. And he’s the type of person who in his various capacities has enough keys to enough locked rooms with soft things in them that there can’t have been that compelling a need to burden a roommate.</p>
<p>^^^
I suspect that most of these guys look at this as a form of “advertising” (or harbor a belief that the roommate will suddenly want to join in when she realizes how “good” he is). For the same reasons, said guys are not going to be interested in sharing their partner with their male roommate.</p>
<p>dude, that’s what a tie on the door is for. </p>
<p>i wonder how much of this goes on when both partners are sober.</p>
<p>I lived in a big, old Victorian house my Jr and Sr year, off campus. Three floors on 2 sides of a central hallway. Top floor on our side…well, we could hear them all the way down to my apartment on the first floor! I kid you not. The first time a friend was over she said, OMG, is someone sick? And started running upstairs (she was the helpful type). We grabbed her back and explained that they were just doing the nasty. It got a bit pathetic and I don’t know how she could look us all in the eye. OR the guys on the other side of the house!!! They could heear it,too. Just had a reunion and this came up…we all cringed and laughed…unfortunately she passed away in her 30’s but this memory, for all of us who lived there (7) will never fade.</p>
<p>I’d say many of the local “dancers” in Madison were also students. A few were legends.</p>
<p>I wonder if keeping score on facebook (everything else ends up there) of a roomy’s public performances would have an effect on said activity. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone has tried this method of managing the activity. Discretion is not a strong suit in today’s youth.</p>
<p>Its about time but I don’t know how they’re going to enforce it. No sex when you’re roommate’s present, and no kicking out your roommate to have sex. About 30 years overdue.</p>
<p>Long thread on this already
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/786810-tufts-bans-sex-when-roommate-dorm-room.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/786810-tufts-bans-sex-when-roommate-dorm-room.html</a></p>
<p>“About a dozen complaints” in a school of 8,500 students?</p>
<p>IMO then probably not a huge problem, and not a new one either, as I recall. I think in most cases kids are polite enough (or sober enough) not to need such a rule, but if it helps the few who need it, then good. From what S tells me, most kids come to an agreement where one roommate will agree to stay out of the room for a while – hence the term “sexiled”.</p>
<p>If Tufts won’t impose a penalty on such behavior, what’s to prevent the situation from continuing as it is?</p>