Tufts Optional

<p>Here is my Tufts optional essay- let me know what you think.
Are We Alone?</p>

<p>We are a chain; we are links of organic matter spanning the circumference of a rock spinning around a yellow smiley face. We are together in our steady momentum towards the infinite future and we are one in our ignorance of our mortality, believing our effect may be timeless and transcendental. We are a single unit in our structure, stemming from evolution or a supernatural being, with veins, arteries, cells, and minds.
Our connections race over silly lines drawn upon maps, security fences, trenches, armies, and languages. They exist in the human interaction of a smile, in the nursing mother, and the natural hunger for satiety—in our universal acknowledgment that we are separate beings, distinct and unique, but nevertheless of the same world.
We all want and wish and weep. And drink. And have this incessant curiosity of what yet remains undiscovered. And we, of course, revere what we believe will remain undiscovered, understanding it to be a scientific wonder or simply the work of the divine.<br>
We are not singular in our existence, in our pursuit of meaning. And we may take comfort in the fact that meaning is a quest for all and a gift to none. Biologically, emotionally, and instinctually, we are the same, and we are together. I suppose that makes life fairer. But in any case, none of us are on our own; indeed, we, in the most universal sense of the word, are not alone.</p>

<p>you write with a lot of flare, which runs the danger of seeming pretentious, but I think you actually pulled off the tone because it is substantiated with thought and some level of genuine conviction.
however…how much does this essay tell about YOU?</p>

<p>well, this essay comes right after the “who are you” essay question which tells a lot about ME up front, so in this optional one, I thought of it more as my musings on the subject- as opposed to trying to press an agenda of talking about ME.
My other essays are not nearly written with the “flare” that this one has, and they have a much more casual tone, so I don’t think pretentiousness will come through in the app as a whole.
Thanks for reading! </p>

<p>Here’s my Who Are You essay:
My name is <name>. I am a leader, an activist, and a Show Tunes connoisseur. I am equally as happy curled up in a comfortable chair, dipping myself into the worlds and battles of fantasy novels, as I am seated at a restaurant with friends. I am a rebel who flouts authority as I walk barefoot through the halls of my school, and I practically hum in contentment as I nibble at the pumpkin muffins made in the cafeteria. I am a performer as I sing in the shower and a glorified imposter as I act on stage. I can name the three Unforgivable Curses from Harry Potter, recite the last line of James Joyce’s Araby, and sing the whole soundtrack of Spring Awakening, yet it took me seventeen years to don a pair of blue jeans. I am a student who struggles to find the perfect words to express my sentiments but I relish and remember every time I succeed.<br>
I like to juggle, jog, act, age, learn, live, and laugh. I like Friends on the television and friends in the halls. I am a realist, optimist, opportunist, and a smiling face. But most importantly, I am a very content <name>.</name></name></p>

<p>Any feedback?</p>

<p>hmm. i think it MIGHT work if you hit the right officer. personally, though, i would not approach the essay like that, but go for something more genuine…or, substantial, really. cause it’s somewhat of a laundry list of the things you DO…but WHO are you, how do you feel, what do you think about?
mayb i’m just too harsh.
PS i dunno wut your name is, but i tried to plug my own into that last sentence, and it sounded incredibly awkward.</p>

<p>mm… I think that may just be a matter of personal taste. I think that I don’t need to TELL the reader who I am, but rather I can SHOW who I am based on my actions, preferences, and outlooks.
Though this could just be my own bias?
Any other takes?</p>