turning down a scolarship?

<p>My son applied EA to 2 "safety" schools. They are both really good schools. When he was accepted at both, he immediately knew which he would pick (based on geography). Both offered good scholarships. The one he is less inclined to just offered potentially a 3/4 to full tuition scholarship. Would need to write an essay. My son is clear that he would prefer the other school and he has 8 he is waiting on. </p>

<p>His feeling is that he needs to tell this school he is no longer thinking of them. They are asking him to say where he is planning to enroll, but he doesn't know yet. Our thought is that he should tell them to free up the funds to some other student, that he is undecided where he'll enroll and send them a brief message expressing the honor and gratitude he felt being offered this chance at this large scholarship. Are we missing something?</p>

<p>Betheivt, congratulations to your son...I would wait just a little bit longer though. Since the essay is a gating event, surely the college sent more (potential) offers than actual number of scholarships available to distribute, so, it doesn't seem like declining now would result in benefit to another student...however, if he did submit an essay and was actually awarded the scholarship, that would be a different story.</p>

<p>My D did something similar recently. She had been accepted to her safety but they required essays to apply for a scholarship that she would likely have had a good shot at. Before the scholarship deadline, she received a stubstantial merit scholarship from a match school that she preferred. So she didn't apply for the scholarship and send them the postcard declining their offer to attend. It actually made her sad as they had treated her so nicely, so she wrote a note to them telling her how much she had apprciated their offer.</p>

<p>We have this feeling of sadness too. He picked 10 schools he could love and will have to pick one in the end. A nice problem, but for a kid who agonized for days about the kids he couldn't cast in a play he's directing...I guess this is life.</p>

<p>With my kids, if they were 100% sure they'd get scholarships and go elsewhere, then yes, a polite email notifying the admissions office they were no longer interested in admissions.</p>

<p>But if there's any chance he would still want to go there, I'd say do the essay and keep the ball rolling-if he formally withdraws from the competition now, he stand little chance of receiving significant money later. Even after a student if officially awarded the scholarship, once they notify the school they're not going to attend, the school will usually pass the $$ right on to the next in line - and many an "alternate" is thrilled to be notified of more $$$.</p>

<p>bethie, I'd say he should write the essay and keep his hat in the ring. Every acceptance means rejections for other applicants. At some super selectives an one acceptance results in 10 or 11 disappointments. </p>

<p>It doesn't sound to me that your son is collecting trophies. Having up to 10 choices in April is to me not excessive if financial aid is involved. It's just good sense. </p>

<p>Colleges want to pin down their class, applicants want to keep their options open. This is part of the normal (but nerve-wracking) dance that goes on every spring. I wouldn't consider it the least selfish or disgenuine for your son to continue with the process with EA#2. There are just too many unknowns at this point to close any doors.</p>

<p>When he has all those offers and you have all the corresponding financial data he can make an informed and balanced decision. Maybe re-visit, both literally and figuratively. </p>

<p>Congratulations and let us know what he decides.</p>

<p>I don't know about anyone else, but my D is on her last legs as far as essays. So I guess the thing that I'd throw in is, how much gas does he have left and are there other essays that will be of more importance during the next couple of months? We decided that the one outside scholarship that she's applying to (that requires 4 essays) was a higher priority, particularly if she ends up deciding on a need only school. And the latest news is that she has the opportunity to apply for a BA/MD program -- which will require even more essays.</p>

<p>Another thing to consider - if he passes on this scholarship opportunity, it does not necessarily mean that the opportunity then becomes available to another student. Schools don't spend all the merit money they offer - they know that some students will end up at other schools and budget accordingly (same as they offer admission to more students than they can accomodate). I would want to keep as many options open as possible - many things can happen in the world and in his life between now and May 1st that might change his mind. </p>

<p>It's very true that it's hard for some kids to say no to schools. I had to give my s. a little pep talk, telling him that schools can't have everyone they've invited attend, they're grown up institutions and they won't take it personally, etc. It is funny after all the angst that kids go through applying, that they would feel this way, but then maybe that's why they do feel that way.</p>

<p>Last year my daughter met the qualifications to interview for a full-ride scholarship at one of her safeties - the adrep even called her to set up an interview. But this college was so far down her list that she a) didn't want to be tempted by a full-ride and b) didn't want to prevent someone who really needed/wanted the full-ride from getting it. (please note that she didn't tell me about this until a month or so after the fact)</p>

<p>This looks like an easy enough question. The son has received an invitation to apply to a school that he has now decided he does not want to attend, and has essentially dropped from his list. Obviously he should do exactly as he plans and let the school know he is no longer interested. Why write an essay to apply for a scholarship at a school he does not want to attend? It's a waste of time for him, and it may stand in the way of a competitive scholarship going to a student who really wants and needs it. </p>

<p>Lefthandofdog's observation doesn't apply here, because the funds have not yet been awarded -- that will be decided later on, on the basis of the essays submitted. So by removing himself from the pool of potential applicants, bethievt's son insures that some one other than himself will get the award that has not yet been given. That's not the same as turning down an award after it has already been offered -- although it is true that down the line, if the son did apply and was awarded the scholarship, the funds probably would not go to anyone else when he turned them down. One more reason why it makes sense for him not to enter a competition for something he doesn't want.</p>

<p>I spoke to his GC today and he echoed what calmom and others have said. It feels counter-intuitive to turn down large amounts of (potential) money (they'd already offered him half tuition, this would be three-quaters to full), but that's what he's going to do. It's also the first school he's removing from his list, so that feels hard but necessary. He may soon have to remove several others from consideration, might as well start the process now.</p>

<p>bethievt, It is difficult, but at least it's a 'good' problem to have :). The tables are starting to turn already, as many schools are starting to woo students to attend.</p>

<p>bethievt</p>

<p>My daughter turned down many full paid offers from very competitive colleges that were heavily recruiting her. All of them were some of the most desirable colleges in the country. We wanted her to continue to these colleges. However, my kid is more mature than we are. She told us that there is no point to hold the colleges and take away a chance from some other friends and classmates for whom that college maybe the first choice. Since she submitted all her application in November, she received emails and many communications from all Ivy and other elite colleges. As soon as her SCEA result came in she decided that she need to make some tough but rightful choices. She realiazed that is not all about her. She emailed the adcomms about her early acceptance and informed that their colleges are very attractive and she is faltered with many full merits or need based aids that they have told her but want to do right by helping her friends. She pulled out seven applications. As far to compare her need based aid, she is left with only two additional choices that she has interest in joining provided need based aid offer is attractive.</p>

<p>I think you and your kid are making a right choice. Allow other kids to have a chance as it there is no need for trophy hunting. Your kid would win many friends for their generosity.</p>

<p>My S went through the same thing, a merit award equal to about the full tuition at one of his safeties. After consulting with a friend at the college, we were told that the offers were mailed out with an understanding of about how many would actually be used and turning it down did not make it available for some one else.</p>

<p>Let's not get the situation confused. </p>

<p>Some colleges have a bifurcated merit system. A series of fine application based scholarships and then , published or unpublished, a secondary invitation only scholarship competition. Some may even have a more complex system. Some have only the invitation only merit competition.</p>

<p>Of D's schools several had the bifurcated type system. In those instances, the number of places allotted at the big scholarship table remains constant and if a student informs the school that they are no longer in her consideration the school WILL extend another invitation to a deserving student. Especially if it is done early. </p>

<p>The rule we followed was that once D knew that she preferred the existing offer from school A over any potential offer from school B, school B was immediately notified. When UMiami offerred the Singer and Rhodes was already up to $21,500 in the early round, since she had already decided she preferred Rhodes (or possibly UMiami) all the other merit schools were jettisoned. I think she did 8 in one day. </p>

<p>In fact , as some of you know, my D was NOT in the first group of students offered a place at the table for the scholarship she ended up receiving at Rhodes. She was in the original 3 ultimately chosen for the scholarship, but was only there at the table to be chosen because some thoughtful soul gave up their all expenses paid spot so she could have a chance to wow the committee. We are grateful.</p>

<p>Additionally at least one student turned down the scholarship my D took and another student WAS given that scholarship. The school asked D and the other original recipients to make their minds up as quickly as possible so that others could be rewarded, while stressing that NACAC rules allowed them till 5/1. D made the call in one week.</p>

<p>curm and calmoom: I concur. We have told S as soon as he knows to let schools know. Same situation also about not jumping through hoops if you really think you would not go. Worse problem is liking two places but having interviews the scheduled for the same time and both being competitve one's. Turn down one and then maybe still not get not get the other. Yipes. Could really be a disaster</p>

<p>I think this might be more like the situation curm describes. We'll send out the letter tomorrow. Money isn't an issue for us (I know; we're very, very fortunate) so son can pick based purely on preference. If there's even a small chance of someone else getting the scholarship he's turning down (he hasn't been given it yet, but I'm betting he'd be a strong contender), that would be great.</p>

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Some colleges have a bifurcated merit system...

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<p>Very good to know. Thank you.</p>

<p>Bethie: my D also sent "the" letter to her first acceptance school (the one that accepted her last June...I was the first parent to announce for the class of 2011). She decided although it's a very nice school, there isn't a whole lot there for her and it's just too far away. She's eliminated schools that aren't within a 4 hour drive, due to changing family circumstances (very sick grandma she's very close to.)</p>

<p><em>sigh</em> you're not alone. I'm very sad. :(</p>