UF Alumni coping with rejection of legacy children

<p>I would love to hear from fellow alumni. How do you cope with finding out that your child's application was rejected? She is a far superior high school student than we were. I know it's highly competitive and don't have any delusions that she was the best applicant, but she has excellent grades, impressive resume and a solid essay. </p>

<p>I am struggling with the emotions of betrayal after more than 23 years of alumni association membership and financial support of our university. How do you proudly wear your UF gear and cheer on the team when you feel let down? Do you continue donating to UF? </p>

<p>How do your children who were born and raised as Gators cope with not fulfilling their dream of going to UF?</p>

<p>Note: I think the way UF notifies students of their acceptance/rejection is horrible! They should mail acceptance letters several days in advance of them being published online, so many of those accepted won't log on and clog the system. It was immensely disappointing to find out she was rejected after 3 intense hours of trying to find out online.</p>

<p>I don’t feel that releasing decisions out at a certain time is horrible. Hundreds of college do it that way. It sucks to find out you were rejected. That why rejection is what it is: rejection. And there’s no succesful way to guard your feelings so that you’re not hurt in a situation like this.
My advice is to talk to your daughter. Discuss how you both feel. Then move on. Be proactive. If she’s such an excellent student then she’ll find a better college. The strong emotions will blow over and it’ll be a memory.</p>

<p>My father (Class of 1981) feels the exact same way; betrayed.</p>

<p>As the applicant, I never felt guaranteed admission whatsoever, but I can understand how my devout Gator donor and father got so upset at my rejection.</p>

<p>The thing that makes him the most upset, though, is the complete lack of explanation. I know that with ~30,000 applicants it is impossible to tell each why they were rejected, but it’s their future - a monumentally important path in life. A little extra care would be welcome.</p>

<p>I just want to know why. I had a 1500 SAT (2280 with writing) and I’m a National Merit Semifinalist. 4.18 UF GPA (this is the low point of my application, but it is still within the middle 50% of accepted applicants) and an IB diploma with all of the highest level IB courses offered. Essay and EC’s were (in my counselor’s words) excellent.</p>

<p>But all my father (and I) get is the most generic of generic rejection letters after fumbling with a broken website for hours.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t think UF would turn down a NMSF–are you appealing?</p>

<p>Interesting question! I believe that for every door that closes, another one opens, but the rejection is difficult to swallow. </p>

<p>Many friends are multiple alumni legacies who have given large sums of money to UF and feel collectively betrayed by a University that seems more interested in foreign money than local legacies. </p>

<p>The alumni families we.ve met are extremely unhappy with the summary rejections of their children who are far more accomplished than we were when we attended, and we now reply to the foundation when they call for our donations, " SO sorry, we are now forced to stroke checks for $50K a year to XYZ OUT of state university"</p>

<p>9By the way, the other schools we were accepted to were thrilled with our performance, but it seems that UF is primarily focused on foreign students than local alumni.) Since the university system is screaming for money, it seems shocking that they would turn their backs on the families who supported them the most through out the years. </p>

<p>The next bubble is the University bubble to burst, so we are confident that the other schools who accepted us will be supported with our highest and best efforts. </p>

<p>As a land grant university, they seem to have forgotten their roots.</p>

<p>Slightly different situation here. My son (foolishly) checked the box for “interested in Innovation Academy” without doing sufficient research first - the way it was initially presented on the UF website made it sound great (Innovation minor, “small group” feel within the university, etc.). What they fail to emphasize is the utter lack of flexibility with major selection - and the fact that this is your ultimate selection vs. an “option” once admitted. Needless to say, he was admitted into IA - and his petition for a term change to Fall (so he could major in what he wants!) was rejected via a simple form letter. As an alumnus, I was very discouraged that he really was treated just “like a number”.</p>

<p>In the end, his best options are FSU or an out of state university with an annual price tag in excess of $40k per year. Looks like Tallahassee will be in our future. So long, future donations to UF!</p>

<p>Daughter is a junior, but I’m already trying to prep for the possible rejection. The “holistic” method of admissions adds a huge random factor to the process; it’s really hard to predict our chances.</p>

<p>If my well qualified (IMHO) d doesn’t get admitted, I’m sure we’ll pull away from the university, stop going to games, donations, season tickets, etc. I wouldn’t want to remind by daughter of her rejection by staying in the “UF Family”.</p>

<p>My d is doing a better job of preparing, by looking at other schools and accepting the possibility. I need to be supportive of her other options and realize that in the long term, they will work out just as well as UF (no matter how much OOS tuition kills my pocket book!). </p>

<p>By the way, must Freshman (90+%) are from the state of Florida.The kids aren’t being pushed out by OOS tuition; it really has something to do with the increased selectivity, random holistic “factors” and a complete discounting of legacies.</p>

<p>Legacy status at any public institution of higher education is a pipedream! Admission based upon prior individuals’ academic achievement and/or donor status is pretty much reserved for private institutions. Why should one’s offspring be granted status above any other applicant based upon parent graduation status-- at a public? Ethically it would stink!</p>

<p>.02</p>

<p>@Bn12gg</p>

<p>The thread is about Alumni coping with a child being rejected, not so much about the pro’s and cons of legacies.</p>

<p>Publics use legacy status as one indicator of interest and fit. It’s clearly takes a back seat to other factors(academics, EC’s…etc.) but it is considered.</p>

<p>I understand perfectly well how disappointed you all feel. I have many Gator friends and they are very loyal to their Alma Matter. Being a Gator for them is part of who they are, specially for the ones whose spouse is also a Gator. When this tradition is broken is a big deal for a family that expected to share this experience with their kids. I’ve been noticing a big change in UF in the past years. I has been trying to attract the OOS and the top 10% sure admit to compete with other famous state schools. Now the option for most Floridians is FSU and UCF, but even those are getting harder to get in. I hope your family will put all their good energy to start a new tradition at your home and cheer your student wherever he/she goes. Good luck!</p>

<p>Gator88ne-- you contradicted yourself – “considered”. How about a marginal “legacy” admit being charged private college style tuition $$? Why should my tax dollars be spent on a marginal student be/c mom or dad was a “gator”? Anti up big tuition $$ for the legacy kid who doesn’t cut the GPA/SAT requirements at UF – well then maybe you have an admission program that makes sense – schollies for UF qualified kids.</p>

<p>.02</p>

<p>I can understand that this would hurt. My DH and I are USF grads and our DS did not even want to look at USF (ouch!). After attending the same high school as his dad, he wanted to do something different. He was admitted to UF and will be attending this fall. We still love USF and will now cheer for both teams:)</p>

<p>@bn12gg</p>

<p>You’re reading a lot into the word “considered”. No one implied a marginal student should be admitted, based on being a legacy. </p>

<p>UF’s policy is that legacy status is one factor used in admissions, but only after all other factors are considered. </p>

<p>I (and I would guess most Alumni) don’t have an issue with this policy. We’re having issues coping with the possibility (in my case) of our S or D’s being reject by UF, even though they have are far better applicants(grades/test/EC’s) than we every could have hoped to be. It’s about how I have to deal with it…not about lowering UF’s requirements.</p>

<p>I’m finding this whole process difficult to accept as well. It seems that legacy is not even considered anymore. Legacy goes pretty deep in our family. I’m an alumnus, many of our family members are as well. My son’s grandparents are not only alumni, but one was a former professor as well at UF. </p>

<p>My son didn’t get in (4.3 GPA in academic courses, many AP classes, two jobs, solid test scores, EC’s, volunteer hours etc.) No good explanation really (they said he was qualified–I would be more understanding of his rejection if he didn’t have the grades, scores, etc.) In fact, the only people he knew that did get accepted are kids with no alums in their family (we live is FSU country, and some are very verbal how they “hate” the Gators—my son is not sure why they even applied!), but that were applying to ivy league and applied to UF only as a backup. </p>

<p>My son was crushed when he saw he was denied admittance and as a family of Gators I felt partially to blame. He is so devoted to UF, mainly because he grew up Gator. Over the years he has been brought to games, Homecoming events, etc., so he already felt like he was a Gator. For years we supported UF financially for the purpose of wanting it to be a better school for my kids and grandkids. I did hear that because there are so many qualified applicants that one of the things they look at is where the student is ranked in their class…if they are not in top 10% they are weeded out. This is so students from every county in FL can get have an opportunity. Doesn’t matter if the school is low rated as long as their grades/scores are close to an acceptable level. If this is true this worked against my son in that he attends one of the top academic high schools in FL, so there are a lot of kids at his school with high GPA’s and test scores. He is ranked in the top 25% in his school and that is with a 4.3 GPA. In hindsight it seems counterproductive that we made it a point to try to live in one of the best school zones in our area! LOL </p>

<p>The good news is that my son was accepted right away to his next choice…UCF…and is starting to get excited about that. Great business school and very focused on their students. I know he will do very well there. His UF advisor told him to apply for transfer to UF after 60 hours --I’m not sure what he will do then but I will support him either way because what is most important to me is that he is happy. </p>

<p>However, as a parent, if I knew then what I know now, I definitely would have been more laid back about being a Gator and would not have been as involved with the school since I graduated. This is one of the hardest things I have ever seen my kid go through, and I really was clueless about how things are now.</p>

<p>I hope this doesn’t come across as callous, but thousands of students go to community colleges and then transfer over to a UF with an AA. I read somewhere that UF takes 2000-3000 AA transfers per year. </p>

<p>I realize that you may feel that you are missing out on the traditional experience, but I honestly think that this is overrated at most big state schools – at least for the first couple of years. The reality is that for many classes, you’ll be sitting in an auditorium with 300 other students and dealing with grad students rather than professors. Going to a CC may not impress your friends, but the classes are usually smaller and you have more access to the instructor, who is usually more focused on teaching than research.</p>

<p>In the end, if you get an AA and transfer to UF (or wherever) you’ll still have the same degree that the student who went there for all four years got. Plus, it’s cheaper.</p>

<p>I graduated in the Spring of 81 the first class to graduate at the Oconnell Center. Being a Gator was part of my life since childhold. To say that I love UF would be an extreme uncerstatement. When my son which is going to be a Jr. next year at UF. First applied my wife warned me (she is a Hurricane) if he didnt get in we would forget all about the Gators in our home. He applied to UM where he received a full ride, as well as UCF, and Ga Tech. He was accepted to all the schools he applied to. UF didnt offer a thing only bright futures. He still choose UF over the rest. But if he had not been accepted to UF I would have been devastated. I am sure this may seem a bit extreme. But to a true Gator not having there child admitted has to be similar to a death in the family. I know it is not the same. But damn it has to hurt.</p>

<p>One thing is for sure and while it may not seem like it now. Everything happens for a reason.</p>

<p>Let me tell all of you that UF today is not our UF. No it is NOT if you think we were numbers 30 years ago? It is much worse now. My son was taking Calculus III in the Fall. When drop add date came around he had a low C average. The problem was that he had 8 assignments that had not been graded. He asked the prof, the TAs, the math department, the dean of the Engineering department to help. No one did a damn thing. So he was forced to drop the class. He just got an A on calc III this semester. But that experience has left a bad taste and an experience the showed us that the students were just numbers.</p>

<p>So hold your heads up be proud of your children they will love their school. Dont look back because what you remember as our UF is not there any longer. </p>

<p>Hope this helps. It burns me to see students that should be Gators not getting accepted.</p>

<p>I write a column for the Orlando Sentinel and I’m considering writing about this very topic – legacies who aren’t admitted and what that means to families. I’d love to talk with some of you. My e-mail is <a href="mailto:bkassab@orlandosentinel.com">bkassab@orlandosentinel.com</a> if you’d care to e-mail me. Looking forward to talking with you. Let me know here or via e-mail if you have any questions.</p>

<p>Beth Kassab, I read your articles all the time. It won’t be hard for you to find double and triple & quadruple UF legacies to be upset with the “form” rejection of their children who meet or exceed the standards. Many parents I know have replied to Bernie Machen when asked for their annual donation. “gee Bernie, my kids are forced to go out of state and my $$$ are now going to XYZ school”. </p>

<p>Additionally, FL students must pay MUCH more to go out of state, and drive or fly MUCH farther than most states because we are so geographically separated from the rest of the US. Additionally, it seems odd that our children need to learn FL business practices at out of state colleges because there is no room in-state? hmmmm…</p>

<p>Many friends have contributed large sums of money. time and expertise to their colleges and only ask that UF have the same courtesy that most other fine institutions have. A legacy is worth 160 or more points on the SAT, as well as multiple $$$ in the coffers of the school by adoring families who want to keep their child in state at “their” institution. Paying out of state fees which are doublt to quadruple the fees is extra ordinary.</p>

<p>I tried to post the link to one of many articles that shows that many other colleges give extra credit to famillies with quadruple, or more legacies…and UF only counts all family legacies together, not individually. I hope this helps, the calls keep coming in weekly from the University begging for more money, however it seems hard to stroke more big checks for an institution who is more interested in out of state students than our own!</p>

<p>Give us other guys a chance. This is a public school, designed for the needs of the general population of the state. UF already gets way more applicants than it can accept. There are 50,000 students, and 19.3 million people in the state. If the university gives priority to families of those who were lucky enough to get a slot in the past, those who don’t have family history with the university will likely not get in. Why should a public university allow a class system like this to exist? Save that for the ivies. I’m 31, and have been in Florida since I was 4. I’ve paid my fair share of state taxes and fees. I deserve as much of a chance at a slot in a public university (that I also paid for) as any alumni family.</p>

<p>I’m sorry your children didn’t get in, but UF is a great school, and there are a lot of folks who would like a fair chance to go there. I don’t deserve the best because you were here first 20+ years ago? Come on.</p>

<p>Let me start by saying that I am not a Gator ( my son is a Cane) but I have a great respect for UF and its graduates. Legacy is very important to any school because they are the ones that keep donating money to the school (directly or indirectly) years after the are gone. They are also the ones that will bring their children and grandchildren to the school to study creating an atmosphere of tradition and pride. It is because of this tradition that being a Gator means more than just going to a state school. UF cannot in my option turn its back on the people that helped them get there. And before someone talks to me about grades, I have to say that I have seen a lot of bright Florida kids turned down by UF in favor of OOS kids. It seams that now is going to be UCF turn to shine as more and more Florida kids are heading to Orlando and its more modern dorms and facilities. Still it hurts to see that so many kids that could stay in Florida and better our community are being pushed around or out of the state all together…</p>