<p>momrath, thank you very much for the detailed advice. The 20k EFC came from Amherst’s online estimator; by their calculations, federal and IM agreed at that number. I like a lot of Midwestern schools–Oberlin, Grinnell, Carleton, Beloit–and I think my chances will be safer there as well.</p>
<p>b’smom: I ruled out Brandeis for personal reasons, but thank you for the suggestion!</p>
<p>I just talked to my mom, and she made her dislike for the Midwest abundantly clear. According to her: it’s too far away to drive, so travel will be costly and inconvenient, plus it’s “nowhere” and it’s harder to find internships. She still doesn’t understand just how difficult it would be for me to get into my reach schools–“if you don’t get into any better schools on the East Coast, then it’s your destiny to attend UD [state flagship].” But I truly believe that UD is completely the wrong fit for me–it has a true core curriculum, the quality of the student body isn’t the same, and I desperately want the community of a LAC. If I slacked off for the rest of high school and got straight Bs, without taking any APs, I would still be guaranteed admission into UD.</p>
<p>I’m perfectly willing to make tradeoffs in location, and I really like some Midwest schools. I could even conceivably receive merit aid at many of these institutions. But what’s the point of it all, when my parents don’t want me to apply and probably won’t let me attend anyway?</p>
<p>Keil, Try to avoid direct confrontation. Apply to all of the colleges that your parents want you to consider and try to include a few “real” safeties as well. When the acceptances and financial aid offers (including merit aid, where applicable) come in your parents may feel differently. </p>
<p>UD is a good school, but if you don’t want big, it doesn’t do the trick. There are several less selective LACs in the Northeast and mid-Atlantic that you might consider. The situation has changed somewhat since my son applied 5 years ago, so my information isn’t uptodate. His safeties were Hamiton and Kenyon then, but today they would be more like matches.</p>
<p>As I said, less selectives require a lot more time and effort than reaches, so just keep investigating.</p>
<p>Good luck and let us know how you do.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for the kind words. I talked with my mom again after the initial argument, and we have come to, if not an agreement, at least a truce. I still have lots of time before the traditional junior year search, so hopefully things will work out.</p>
<p>So I know you just said you’ve already come to a truce 
But something to think about - I’m from New England, and my parents were similarly reluctant about letting me consider schools outside the northeast. We came to a compromise where I was allowed to visit up to 2 “far-away” schools, and apply to up to 4, in addition to the ones that they approved of closer to home. (I ended up applying ED to Oberlin with their consent, so the deal was moot - but it did give me the chance to visit some schools that I otherwise wouldn’t have seen, which was really helpful.)</p>
<p>An agreement like that would allow you to leave both doors open, applying to some of the midwestern schools that you like as well as the places your parents think you should go, and then compare your options once the acceptance letters come in. And who knows… your parents’ minds may change once you’ve got financial aid offers in-hand.</p>
<p>My mom has already said flat-out no to visiting the Midwest schools, but I do understand that because of cost issues. Hopefully the schools won’t hold that against me!</p>
<p>But I know I definitely need to compromise, and I have faith that things will end up okay in the end.</p>
<p>Oberlin offers some merit scholarships; it also has an unusually strong East Asian studies program (and a beautiful program house, known as Asia House) as well as particularly strong English and Classics departments, among other things. It has long institutional ties to China, through the Shansi program. It also features a conservatory, which has recruited in China in recent years. Perhaps these features might appeal to your parents. It is an easy trip from the Cleveland Airport, which is a hub for Continental Airlines.</p>
<p>Thank you for the information, mamenyu! I’ll be sure to bring it up to them if possible.</p>
<p>I think a lot of tension can be avoided simply by agreeing not to argue about schools until the acceptences (and merit packages) are in hand. Your parents may not be excited about the midwest as a destination (we weren’t initially either), but if you get substantial merit aid at Midwestern LAC (we did) and next to nothing at East Coast LAC, they may decide that a closer look is warrented-and some slight inconvenience in access is offset by the financial savings. Again, no reason to argue about something that isn’t even an option yet.</p>