<p>I have several interviews approaching VERY rapidly. I want to know if I should mention this or not:</p>
<p>My parents are both alcoholics. This has affected my grades, although my GPA is pretty high. No one in my school knows (small town=lots of gossip). Can I tell my interviewer? I don't want to sound like I'm looking for pity. I'm also afraid that the ad com might contact the school about it, to make sure I'm not lying or something. My school has absolutely no idea (students, guidance counselor, principal, and teachers).</p>
<p>Could I somehow put it on my applications? I've written an essay about it, but I don't know if it would be appropriate to send for the reasons stated above. What should I do?</p>
<p>Is there really a reason to bring it up? If you anticipate getting into schools that you want with your current GPA, you don't need to bring it up. I don't think that adcoms are like detectives- there is really no reason for them to investigate you. They probably have no time to investigate anybody. If they did, they would investigate whether people with incredible ECs are faking or not- there seems to be a lot of EC faking going on by applicants. If you tell the interviewer to mark that information as confidential, that should solve it. For an adcom to worry about it, you would have to be a borderline admission case. Also, it is just unlikely that somebody would pick that to fib about if they were inclined to fib. A tall tale about a great EC or a business that you started would be more likely. You should go by your gut feeling- tell, but ask for confidentiality, or don't mention it, whichever feels better to you.</p>
<p>Ria, no. I wouldn't. Are you going to Alateen?</p>
<p>Of course it has affected your grades. You know that, I certainly understand that. But, the fact is that most people don't care. You cannot expect an interviewer to understand this situation.</p>
<p>Here's the bottom line geared to your short term future, the interviews. All alcoholics and most of their families are overly self-conscious (they think they're being carefully inspected for every defect). You have to understand that the interviewer is concentrating not on YOU, but rather on how you and the college fit together. They want to know what you will contribute to the college and how you will benefit from their college. They are not interested in your family history. Period.</p>
<p>Concentrate on those two things, your contribution to the college, and your intent to make the most of your college experience. If you do that, all will go fine.</p>
<p>Been there, done that--PM me if you want to talk.</p>
<p>I used to work in the addictions field, so I know how painful it can be to have an alcoholic parent, so I do not mean to sound unempathetic. It is painful and difficult having alcoholic parents.</p>
<p>Still, I don't think that you will benefit by writing your essay or telling an interviewer about those problems. I think that instead of discussing your parents' problems, you'll benefit yourself more by focusing on your own strengths.</p>
<p>I also agree with the poster who suggested that you get involved in a program like Al-Anon or Alateen, both of which offer confidential, anonymous support for people in homes affected by alcoholism.</p>
<p>I think that in your essays and interviews, you should emphasize your strengths, not your family dysfunction. If your parental situation had resulted in your being in foster care, homeless or similar major problems, then I would suggest mentioning it since your being college bound despite such major problems would be a demonstration of your overcoming major challenges. </p>
<p>Sadly, there are many students who come from homes with similar problems who are strong candidates for admission. Some of the adcoms may even have been in that situation themselves. Your situation, while painful, is unlikely to be something that would act as a tip factor for your admission.</p>
<p>I agree with the posters who said that you shouldn't tell the interviewer, but it really irks me how this system works. URMs or people from clearly disadvantaged backgrounds get help in getting in because of their extenuating circumstances. However, I am sure you have gone through just as much, but it will go unbeknownst to the adcom. That's ridiculous.</p>
<p>" agree with the posters who said that you shouldn't tell the interviewer, but it really irks me how this system works. URMs or people from clearly disadvantaged backgrounds get help in getting in because of their extenuating circumstances. However, I am sure you have gone through just as much, but it will go unbeknownst to the adcom. That's ridiculous."</p>
<p>It's not ridiculous. URMS and others are not shoo ins. A URM, for instance, who has undergone the discrimination that all URMs face is not going to have colleges open wide their doors if the URM focuses on that in their interview and essay. A URM who has risen above extraordinary discrimination -- such as a hypothetical person who after their parent was killed in a racist attack became salutatorian and started an anti-racism organization that is making a difference in their community -- would have done things that put them at the top of many admissions piles.</p>
<p>Many students have alcoholic parents. Alcoholism affects probably at least one in 10 families in this country. Unless the family dysfunction were so severe as to cause major problems such as the students' being in foster care, the student's situation would not be much different than that of the many applicants who have painful family situations ranging from parental divorce to parents with illnesses, economic problems,students with disabilities, etc.</p>
<p>When it comes to challenges, what makes students stand out in admissions is not only having had an unusually difficult challenge but also having risen above the challenge in an extraordinary way. Students who use the challenges to make excuses for weaker grades than they are capable of don't get the admissions tip that students do who maintain very high grades and ECs despite difficult personal challenges. </p>
<p>No one is getting a free pass into college because they happen to be a URM, disadvantaged or to have a challenging home situation.</p>
<p>I just had my U of Chicago interview. If your interview is like mine, you'll be so busy talking about the college and your interests and being enthusiastic that you won't have the time to bring up the topic of your parents. It's only going to make the interview awkward.</p>
<p>NSM, I know being an URM doesn't give you a free pass, but at least your hardships are recognized (and in the case of the "rich URM," the nonexistant hardships are recognized - but that's just my dislike of AA talking). In the OP's case, her hardships are NOT recognized. But Ria, still don't bring it up anywhere, especially the interview.</p>
<p>In my interview, I asked the adcom if I should talk about weird family situations, because I told her I was afraid that it would sound like whining. And she said, "If there's something significant you think we should know, just tell us what happened."</p>