Urgent: Essay explaining special circumstances

College Essays
1

<p>Hi I am not sure if I have put this correct, any advice would be welcome.</p>

<p>"I respectfully request as you review my transcript that you take into account the following: </p>

<p>My mother was diagnosed of cervical cancer in October 2007 in Shanghai, which she moved to after I left for Princeton. She is all alone in Shanghai (and she still is) working as a house maid. Since her diagnosis, my mother’s situation has been going up and down in the past a year and a half. She had her first surgery and was then hospitalized in November 2007. In March 2008, she was reexamined and was placed into an observation period till nearly the end of April. In October 2009, she was again sent into emergency room because of poisonous food.</p>

<p>Never have I had a time when I feel so insecure and frightened before. Not being able to be there with my mother in the hospital was the hardest for me. This has affected my academic record, but now I am ready to fully devote myself to my studies. "</p>

2

<p>(diagnosed with)
just correct your idiom usage.</p>

3

<p>"Never have I had a time when I feel so insecure and frightened before. Not being able to be there with my mother in the hospital was the hardest for me."</p>

<p>I think it would flow better if you wrote this:</p>

<p>Never before have I had a time when I felt so insecure and frightened. The hardest part about this ordeal was that I could not be in the hospital with my mother.</p>

<p>And you should probably put October 2008 instead of 2009.</p>