Urgently need help for Common App essay final draft (hopefully)

<p>I got an essay checking service to check my essay, but they only helped me fix details like grammar and sentence structure. Can someone please check my essay to see if the overall essay is coherent and makes logical sense?
My top choices are Stanford and Harvard.</p>

<p>I will check it :slight_smile: PM it to me if you want</p>

<p>Ill read if you want.</p>

<p>I’ll read it!</p>