<p>I have a son who is struggling with juggling everything going on at USC. He went to a small "college-prep" private school graduated with a 3.9 and never received a "C". One of the goals of sending him to the high school was that he would likely receive good preparation for college. Since arriving at USC I think my son is really struggling with remaining disciplined with all the distractions of fraternity life, developing relationships in the dorms, and just all the freedom that college life provides. He earned C's in all of his first midterms except for one in which he received a "D+" on the first paper. This would all be ok and a good learning experience if I felt that he was really trying to do his best but I'm sensing that is not the case and he is allowing himself to be distracted by the socal life at the expense of his academics. I don't know what to do! It is becoming increasingly frustrating to me since I am spending my life's saving on his education and I'm starting to feel like he's blowing this great opportunity he has of being at USC. He is currently an undeclared major in the College of Arts and Sciences. I'm concerned that when he finally finds something that interests him, which may require him to transfer to another college within USC such as Marshall, he may not be able to since his GPA may be too low. Advice anyone?</p>
<p>Ouch Sandmom … you do have dilemma developing! Have you been able to really talk with your son about his grades? Is he receptive to a blunt conversation about the possiblity that posting only Cs may limit his future options? On the one hand it is great that he’s adapted right in and enjoying the social aspect. But, his mid-term grades might just be a wake-up call that he’s going to have to put in more time for college-level studies. If you haven’t already, can you tell him to buckle down and try to allocate his time better? Some fraternities have study groups, etc. Do you know if he’s going to class? </p>
<p>My daughter was a very high achiever in high school too , and while she is also having fun…I do know that she is working very hard on her homework, papers etc. She goes to study groups & is putting in the time and getting Bs. The difficulty of some of her classes is a bit sobering for her. So USC is in no way a cake-walk college. It doesn’t matter what major you’re in, the grades are earned.</p>
<p>I guess I’d be frank with my kid that I was getting very worried and ask him what was up? I’d flat out ask him to get a bit more serious about his studies…</p>
<p>sandmom, my sympathy is with you! I suggest you also post this question to the Parents board (see lefthand menu) because a lot of experienced folks are there and often have great insights into how to handle these off-to-college challenges.</p>
<p>One thing they often ask is if the parent set up the rules before student left for college? Were the standards expected of him (must maintain x.0 average, take a part-time job, etc) and consequences for poor performance outlined? Some parents are very upfront with their kids and it’s easier to handle slips and side-steps when all have an agreed upon the required GPA etc before there is any trouble.</p>
<p>USC offers students lots of help with academics if they ask for it. Sounds like your S is capable of doing the work, but if he needs more help, he can get it. You mention he’s pledged a fraternity and I know that takes up a LOT of time during the pledge semester. And that’s not counting the parties. </p>
<p>My suggestion is having a talk with your S ASAP and remind him of (or set) the attainable benchmarks that will make him successful for his own future goals and make you feel he isn’t wasting his college opportunities. If you are paying for his education, this isn’t as hard to do as it will be if he is financing it on his own. On the positive side, I think what he is going through is pretty common and with the right incentives, a kind word of encouragement from you, and perhaps a clear understanding that he may not take the slacker road and stay at USC on your $$, he can grow up to the new college challenges.</p>
<p>Best of luck and hang in there.</p>
<p>[USC</a> ARR : Grades : Grading and Correction of Grades Handbook : Grading Policies](<a href=“http://www.usc.edu/dept/ARR/grades/gradinghandbook/gradingpolicies.html]USC”>http://www.usc.edu/dept/ARR/grades/gradinghandbook/gradingpolicies.html)</p>
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<p>USC has a lot of resources for students in your son’s situation. I’m pasting in the contact info for the Office for Academic Support, which offers tutoring and seminars on academic success. I remember also hearing about a service at USC with free, short term one on one academic coaching that helps with organization, study habits, setting goals and priorities, etc., but I’m not finding it online. The Office for Academic Support might be able to point you in that direction, though.</p>
<p>Center for Academic Support
Student Union 301
Los Angeles, CA 90089-0896
(213) 740-0776 (Phone) | (213) 740-6948 (TDD only)
(213) 821-5480 (FAX)
Email: <a href=“mailto:study@usc.edu”>study@usc.edu</a></p>
<p>Others here have given you great advice so I’ll just do my part and be sympathetic. Your situation is very common and most of the time, it is corrected fairly quickly. Remember that the grades he received are only mid-terms. He has time. Since he was a very responsible student in high school, you know he has it in him and passing on some of the advice above will help. </p>
<p>I’d also tell him to go see every one of his professors NOW. He needs to continue to go see them through the rest of the semester. My kid#3 (junior at USC), didn’t like his grade on his recent accounting mid-term so he went to see his professor who was VERY helpful. He is going to go see him as much as possible.</p>
<p>One more thing- about Frats- they will also be pushing him for his grades. Most take it very serious and reward points and other incentives for higher GPAs. </p>
<p>Don’t worry- it will be OK.</p>
<p>As someone who is also spending a lot of money relative to their net worth to send their child to USC, I would lay down clear expectations and if he doesn’t live up to them, stop paying for USC. </p>
<p>Some kids (and I’ll be sexist and say more boys (my third is a freshman this year)) take a while to really grow up. If you have too much money to get much help from USC and not enough that 200K for four years isn’t a big deal to you then you shouldn’t have to subsidize his growing up with that sum of money. Learning this lesson now is a lot better for him than to continue down this path for a year or two. And you are certainly being fair.</p>
<p>I agree that he should be wearing out the paths to the professors and any other resources that are available to help and my understanding from most universities is that the resources available generally exceed the students who put in the effort to seek them out. </p>
<p>He will right himself at some point I am sure, but if he isn’t ready to take advantage of what USC has to offer then I wouldn’t subsidize his partying. He can do that while working at UPS.</p>
<p>im not a freshman but relating to your son, ive never received lower than a B on anything in college (final grade, midterm)</p>
<p>after transferring here, I received my first D and C on midterms ever :(</p>
<p>@sandmon: There’s other options to pursue, to be sure, but don’t overlook a close conversation with your son. If you laid out your expectations, the sacrifices your making, and even some of the dissapointment and angst your feeling, I think your son might gain a new perspective on what his priorities should be.</p>
<p>My daughter had a bit of a struggle as a Freshman, I worried a lot about her the first semester. She had such a full load of classes, and was faced with choices that she had never been faced with before. A turning point for her was visiting her advisor and discussing the challenges. He helped by giving her an objective unemotional place to talk about the situation and provided advice that helped direct her path. She ended up dropping a class, which at the time horrified all of us, but it helped her survive. Then she started meeting friends who were very much like her, serious about school, and things started turning. She is a senior now, and is enrolled in the five year masters program, but I worried a LOT about her. You should also have a heart to heart with him, especially about the sacrifices, but try not to put guilt or emotion into it. Your kid is on a hunt for himself, who is really is, and it can be challenging!</p>
<p>We went through a very similar experience with S1, well respected private college prep high school, GPA in the upper tier, strong test scores, etc. When he got to college, (not USC), he suddenly found himself surrounded by students whose profiles were exactly the same. He was suddenly academically “average”. S1 got an 18 on his first Physics mid-term; he was devastated until he found out that with the curve that was worth a “B+”, (The fact that I think an 18 = B+ is a signal of teaching incompetence is a discussion for another time). </p>
<p>As the statistics show, USC is a very selective college and technically a “C” is an average score. Your son may be finding that he is no longer a big academic fish in a small pond, but he is now an average fish in a fast moving river. My son learned that his old approach to academics would only result in average (C) grades. He learned very quickly he had to step up his game in order to get the type of success he was used to. </p>
<p>As for the fraternity, a lot of friends have had the same experiences with their sons. I wish that pledging didn’t happen until second semester. If he can’t juggle his house responsibilities with his academic workload, I’d suggest putting your foot down and forcing him to commit to stepping back from the fraternity until his GPA stabilizes and starts climbing. He’s there for an education, until he shows he can handle school, his full and rich social life needs to wait. The other suggestion about getting to know your professors is huge, and I’d encourage him to explore/exploit that avenue.</p>
<p>Disclaimer: It gets better. S1 is finishing up college (not USC) has a job offer and is contemplating a Phd. S2, still in high school, is strongly considering (hoping for) USC.</p>
<p>In addition to suggesting that your son talk to his advisor to be sure that he is in the right classes, that your husband have a serious, if possible in person, discussion with your son about his grades ,study habits, and getting him back on the right track to high academic achievement. Also, remind him that if he wants to do study abroad (which is really a great year/semester to look forward to), that USC requires a 3.0 GPA to go.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone for your kind and thoughtful suggestions. </p>
<p>I have an independant (or shall I say stubborn) child that isn’t very open to our suggestions about seeking help, speaking with professors, and how to perhaps manage his time better or be more organized. My husband’s approach is to just let him continue on what might be a C or D path and then pull him out at the end of the semester. On the other hand, I would hate for him to lose the opportunity, he may never get back in to USC or in to any other relatively good institution after pulling him out. I would rather explore all avenues at USC (Center for Academic Support, tutors, etc.).</p>
<p>I don’t think he has ever talked to an advisor, but I do think he is not allowed to register for next semester classes without doing so. We did recently discuss with him that our expectation is to maintain a minimum 3.0 so I hope the reality of that is sinking in with him as he approaches his second set of midterms. </p>
<p>I think vinceh, you hit the nail on the head, he needs to step up his game. He’s being graded against a much more selective group of students. He perfected his approach in high school to I think do the minimum amount of work to achieve the grades that he achieved, and that isn’t working for him at USC.</p>
<p>Also here to add sympathy and support! So much good advice above. I think it is like a bucket of ice water in the face that first semester for all these high-achieving kids who had things “all figured out” in high school. </p>
<p>The only tiny thing I have to add is that a 3.0 is a great goal, but at USC a 3.0 also a bit tough. You might modify that to “We expect you to pass your classes.” He is a freshman, so he/you might not yet have discovered USC’s GPA system (it was a surprise to us): An “A-” will receive 3.7 GPA points… a “B-” will get 2.7… So he could get “straight B minuses,” and receive only a 2.7 GPA.</p>
<p>Best of luck, and keep us updated. We will all be thinking about him and hoping he does well.</p>
<p>These are excellent suggestions. It is sometimes a revelation for students to find their peers are much brighter than those in prep school. High grades are much tougher to earn.
Here is another suggestion. Each fraternity member has a “Big Brother”. Perhaps you could have a confidential discussion with him about aiding your son in bringing up his grades. You mentioned he was not open to listening to you, the parent. The brother may have influence on your son at this time of your son’s life.
The fraternities do not want to lose members. The scholarship trophy is a source of pride. This may be just another avenue to pursue.
One aspect of the maturing process is making choices. Your son now must learn to put academics first and social activities at a much lower priority.</p>
<p>It’s only been one set of exams. There’s still 5 weeks left to turn things around, why not see how he responds to the challenge?</p>
<p>I have mixed feelings about your husband’s approach. I agree that your son is making his own bed and the best lesson is to let him lie in it, but it seems a bit extreme to pull the plug on a high school 3.9 after only 3 1/2 months of college. I suspect that even though your son is “independent”, he’s probably at least considering your suggestions. I assume USC has some sort of process for academic probation, I’d find out what it is, just in case. I would hope that getting a letter from the Registrar saying you aren’t performing up to minimum standards will give him incentive to seek out help.</p>
<p>I agree that “pulling the plug” after one semester seems a bit harsh. Often, we don’t even realize we’re off course until we see that first sign that makes us aware we’ve blown it! … and your son sure must be getting the message now. This is such a common problem - and USC offers so many avenues for help.</p>
<p>These first grades will hopefully be a bucket of ice-cold water in your boy’s face. It sounds like he’s smart enough to see how much he’s got to lose. I’d bet a frank conversation about the harsh realities will help him get back on track.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you…</p>