<p>I've been a bit shocked to see parents posting that their kids were rejected in early decisions and bemoaning the fact that their amazing kids were turned down at (fill in name of tippy top school) and often adding kids' stats!
Then they occasionally go on to say how they have 'lost confidence" in the american university admission process since their kids weren't accepted</p>
<p>Just thinking to myself when I see these posts that college confidential is a much better place to vent than Facebook about college disappointments and much less embarrassing to the kids!</p>
<p>That is embarrassing. Some people have no class. The most I’ve seen has been people posting that their kids got in someplace, but it’s mostly been with ED or when the final decision has been made that so-and-so is the class of 20xx somewhere. Stats? Cringe.</p>
<p>oh, dear. That’s all I can think of in my horror for the kids whose parents do this. One of my most pre-eminent pieces of advice to parents is to let your child’s privacy guide all inquiries into where they’re applying. If your child tells you: “I don’t care, tell the world,” fine; however, I doubt most kids would want their denials, let alone grades and scores, posted for all to see.</p>
<p>if the kids post it, that their business (some schools have a “wall of shame” where kids post their rejection letters, but holy moley, the parent posting on facebook complete with stats? no, just no.</p>
<p>My daughter posted her own rejection on her own FB page, mainly so that no one would ask her if she’d heard from Stanford. It was very effective, and her friends were sympathetic.</p>
<p>Clearly if they were rejected then they wouldn’t have any classes… ha!</p>
<p>in all seriousness though people tend to vacillate between treating FB like a billboard and treating it like their own diary or the equivalent of mass-text messaging / mass voicemailing all of their friends. it’s gets weird when they cross boundaries like that and embarass people though.</p>
<p>Yes, posting things that reflect poorly on you or your family or loved ones is not a good idea. I have many friends who are seeking publication of novels and I am often shocked to see step by step postings on facebook or blogs. Things like, “I queried 10 agents this week and got 7 rejections.” If you need to vent, send me a private email, but don’t post it so that others who might be considering whether to accept you will be able to read about how many others don’t want you.</p>
<p>It is apparently confusing to many that Facebook is not “Dear Diary”. </p>
<p>I fear that this same confused group fails to understand that information posted in haste is quite likely to be accessible long into the future even if the entry is deleted or the facebook account shut down.</p>
<p>I’m always pleased when someone posts something negative or other bad news to facebook. It’s a pleasant change from the usual round of boasting. My respect for middle-aged people goes up a little when they post that they missed a promotion or whatever. Too many late-middle-aged people seem to use Facebook as little more than a boastful Christmas letter, and it’s ruining the site.</p>
<p>However, posting about the failure of another (in this case, one’s child) in such an important life area is inexcusable.</p>
<p>I think posting your own rejections/stumbles is up to you but posting for anyone else is totally wrong, esp with stats – what are these parents thinking?! Maybe their kid doesn’t want his exact gpa or SAT score announced to the world.</p>
<p>Like the previous poster, I do find it refreshing when people post normal things on facebook. Too many use facebook as their brag book – we know that it isn’t likely that you have the best house on the block; get promoted at work every 2 months; have the most loving spouse that every existed; travel to exotic locations constantly; and said spouse cooks 5 star gourmet meals daily. In every normal life – there are times when you get denied a promotion; something in your house fails to work; your trips to Hawaii are balanced out by work trips that take you to North Dakota in the winter; and it’s Friday night and the only dinner idea you have is Wendys.</p>
<p>Posting stats just seems silly no matter who is doing it. Makes me glad my mom doesn’t use facebook, and didn’t know my stats! Just makes the person seem either bitter, or pathetic, or both.</p>
<p>I am not surprised though. I know so many people who complain about their spouses or their kids behavior or their friends on facebook, sometimes in thinly veiled “anonymous” messages where we all know who they are talking about anyway, other times they come right out and say it. My older sister is really bad about this and shames her husband on facebook all the time, I make it a point to NEVER mention my fiance unless I am saying something glowing about him after seeing what she does. She has a blog she is even worse about, she will post tirades against friends and family members and if heaven forbid somebody implies she is being inappropriate she has 20 friends who all jump in to defend her behavior. It’s psychotic if you ask me. She’ll be posting her kids stats someday.</p>
<p>I’m prone to write something then delete to get it out of my system, draft emails and sit on them 24hrs etc. It almost always works. I never do this with Facebook. It ‘remembers’ what you draft even if you don’t post. I don’t care who you are, how much you share, if that doesn’t give you the creeps nothing will. It makes you think long and hard before you even start to think about typing in that box. Facebook is a huge megaphone on the world for the rest of your life (and your kids). Don’t count on security settings, they change things as they please.</p>
<p>I did want to post D’s rejections because I have posted many of her acceptances and want everyone to know that no, she isn’t perfect and with all of the good, sometimes there’s bad. </p>
<p>I think that when people only see the most wonderful things in everyone else, they can begin to believe that their life sucks (compared to the perfect FB users). I wanted to show that hey, D is just human and gets rejections too.</p>
<p>But alas, I knew it would get someone’s panties in a wad, so I decided against it. I’m sure that D wouldn’t want her “imperfections” put out there either. She’s gotta maintain an image, you know ;)</p>
<p>I remember seniors in college posting reject letters from their interviews on their bedroom doors. It was like a badge of honor that said “I’m interviewing with top notch companies”. There was an expectation that you had to interview a lot to get a job. </p>
<p>I think posting your daughters rejections is an entirely different matter. What exactly are you saying by putting it out there?" " my daughter is learning that you don’t always get what you want" or “my daughter is not as good as we have been saying she is”? Or y daughter’s dreams are crashing to the ground"? </p>
<p>I understand what you are saying about the brag wall aspect of FB but the only way to counter it is to not do it. For our son we didn’t post names of schools he was accepted to. Something vague like “proud of our son for being accepted to one of his top choices. Now we have decisions to make”. We waited on names of schools until he actually chose one. Sometimes we checked in on Campus visits. Use the same rule we teach our kids. Of it’s not something you want EVERYoNE to know them don’t post it. If your daughter would be embarrassed by you talking about it then don’t post.</p>