<p>I found out last night Columbia didn't accept me from FedEx.</p>
<p>But today I found out they waitlisted me, which was a nice surprise. Oh yeah, the other two Ivy acceptances also helped things :D</p>
<p>Tree...I wasn't being sarcastic at all in my last post. I truly am concerned about students who exhibit all those wonderful qualities you described, but who feel a need to participate in this feeding frenzy of neuroses. I've gone through the process 3 times with my own (very different) kids in the past few years - all of whom were concerned about their acceptances, but not CONSUMED by them. They - and their friends - all had other things to do with their time.....sports, jobs, homework, socializing...than to dream up ways to beat the mail by a lousy 24 hours, or to commiserate with others bemoaning a system they are powerless to change. The question is don't you have anything better to do?</p>
<p>As for your not missing my comments...I wasn't aware I was leaving....and I say this as gently as possible - your post kind of proved my point about the (melo)drama.</p>
<p>I'm not trying to antagonise you, but as an international student in Southeast Asia, I know the pain of having to wait days or weeks for mail to arrive VERY INTIMATELY. So I would rather call Fedex and be 'neurotic' than wait for the rejection letter to appear in the mail and tear my last shred of hope to pieces. :)</p>
<p>Also, you called the anxious students 'insecure and needy'. I don't think it's melodramatic or OTT to be slightly offended by that, especially at a nerve-wracking time like this. I do see your point, though. We ought to have better things to do... but playing the Sims doesn't cut it for me right now ;)</p>
<p>While calling a Fed-Ex opperator seems fairly anticlimatic, whoever figured it out was certainly a creative thinker.</p>
<p>As far as 'neurotic' reactions to admissions decisions, this is a website devoted to college. It will amplify any feelings of concern or elation. While you have had the opportunity to watch the other aspects of your childrens' lives, you don't have that ability for other CC members. You don't get to hear that they bought a prom dress yesterday, or that they just won a softball tournament. Just because they aren't mentioned in a post doesn't mean they don't occur.</p>
<p>Over the past twenty-four hours, I have watched with considerable trepidation as my son sat hunched at the computer, racking up two rejections and two waitlists. He does have other acceptances, but is still waiting on two final decisions that will likely not arrive for several days. It's impossible for him to finalize what campuses he plans to visit or make a decision about waitlisting until he has that information. If there were some legal and moral way for him to get a heads up on his decision, I would not stop him. </p>
<p>Many of these kids are under tremendous pressure...some of which they impose on themselves and some of which comes from the expectations of families and even of the schools they attend. The latter, I know, is very true for my son. I may not agree with every step that various posters on this site have taken over the last few days to ferret out their decisions, but I do have some idea of the pressure that lies behind their actions and responses. I have four degrees--undergrad and three grad including one from an Ivy. Never did I have to jump through the kind of hoops or face the odds that these kids have to face in simply trying to get into an undergrad program. I am not limiting myself to Ivies when I say this. I just leafed over the threads on the Tufts board. Post after post talked about students who had received from three to six waitlist/rejections in the space of one hour this past evening, and these came from a wide variety of schools. </p>
<p>We all talk about how kids should get an education and how we want them to focus on this rather than on more frivolous things. That's exactly what most of these students have done. Like my own son, these applicants have spent endless hours studying for exams, going the extra mile with AP's, playing musical instruments, participating in sports, doing community service.....you name it! Partly it's for the joy of doing, but partly it's for the desire to "get ahead". That's always been a piece of who we are in this country. So if they flake out a little on this of all nights, I am not going to question their character or integrity. And I'm not going to be surprised if my own son is pretty disappointed right now. He'll get over it, and so will these students, but the initial shock is not so darn easy.</p>
<p>hear, hear</p>
<p>Hear, hear.</p>
<p>Cami215, you sound like a really cool mom.</p>
<p>I would not question their integrity. I would encourage them to learn and practice patience, as difficult as it is in situations like these.</p>
<p>those were very nice words, Cami215</p>
<p>I wouldn't characterize this decision sleuthing as "instant gratification I want it now I want I want" when you consider this is the end of the very longest most patient quest in their young lives, requiring thoughtfullness, organization and soul-searching. It isn't as though they're snouting into an ice cream sundae without praying. They have earned the right to know in their own fashion. Are you happy when you tell your husband or wife you love her and three months later she says she loves you too? (nota bene- pronoun simplified for dramatic flow)</p>
<p>As a parent I don't have any issue with kids calling Fed Ex to get the scoop a little early. At least its free. Collegeboard makes you pay to get your SAT scores a little early. I find that smarmy and distasteful. In this day and age, if our computers are a few milliseconds slow or the CC website loads a little slowly, we get impatient. In the scheme of things (by comparison) I think finding a way to get some (hopefully) good news a day early is fine, if not a little clever. The over-the-top things are like the scandal that happened last year with students finding ways to get into the college database (senior moment-- I forget at which NE grad school that happened). That was just wrong. This is creative and clever. I don't see it as being "consumed". I like to hear good news as soon as possible. If it comes a day early, so much the better. If it is bad news, at least you get closure and can move on... except in the case of machiavelli, who was waitlisted. But even he/she said, it was a pleasant turn of events. This is an exciting, intense time inthte lives of HS seniors. Sorry to say, but I think the one who needs to lighten up a bit is Beachy.</p>
<p>My only comment to add is that calling FedEx is only a verbal answer... all the other ways to find out involve something that is visual/physical. I would want something I can touch (ie print!!) </p>
<p>I also remember a study done in the last few years about kids who had patience to wait for their reward did better in school, life etc. The study had kids do something......with their cookie or candy on the table, the study moderator left the room, telling the child to wait for their reward until they got back, and some kids were able to wait, some were not. </p>
<p>To me, a kid that calls FedEx is a kid who can't wait til the moderator returns for their candy!! I also agree that whoever knew to call FedEx deserved to get accepted....not sure if they did or not. I will have to go back to check!!</p>
<p>rosen,
yeye would have worked well in your post ;)</p>
<p>In this case, the poor kid doesn't even know whether they're going to get the candy or not. It's not a sure thing; in fact, it's very much the opposite. That's what makes us nervous.</p>
<p>Yeah, I don't buy the moderator/candy analogy. I think Cami expressed this better than I could, and I for one am not going to make either big or small value judgments about these kids.</p>
<p>I feel for these kids... they have waited..... At the same time, they are trying to pay attention in class, study, do homework and prepare for AP Exams and finals. God bless them.....</p>
<p>Ever_after: I don't disagree with you...there's no doubt the FedEx scheme is very creative, and I don't see anything illegal about it. I just can't help but think that the kids who are embracing those prom dresses and sports tourneys are, by and large, not the ones who can't seem to step away from trying to game the delivery system.</p>
<p>Cami: very sweet words about your son....I am keeping fingers crossed for good news from his remaining schools. And yes, we've encouraged them in their educations, and to find ECs they love and thrive in, but I don't think this particular activity is part of any healthy education. A rejection is a kick in the teeth, no doubt...and for the vast majority of students, a W/L is a rejection, as well. But,the letter will get there in its own time. I just don't see that time spent to find out about your status a day early - or commiserating with others threatening to sue a school because they haven't heard by March 26, when the school's admission policies plainly state that notifications will arrive between April 1 and 15 - makes that rejection hurt any easier to take. And, in the meantime, you've lost all that time you could have spent doing more healthy things.....a run around the neighborhood, cards with your family, a cup of coffee with a friend (where you might talk about the same topics, but at least you're not alone, hunched over a computer screen for hours - you're interacting with live (and, if you're lucky, lively!) people, where tone of voice and facial expressions help make a conversation.</p>
<p>Rorosen.....I love your question ending your post, but can't quite relate, as H and I don't have 3-month gaps in our conversations. I suppose I wouldn't have said 'I do" under the conditions you put forth (but applicants know the ground rules for notification before they click 'Send' or mail the app...sort of disingenuous to complain about it after the fact). Each of us knows the other loves him/her by words and actions over 20+ years... although, there have been days where we may not have 'liked' each other much - and each has thought the other has done some pretty boneheaded things over that span of time!</p>
<p>I don't see a thing wrong with kids checking FedEx. How about those early pregancy tests? I guess some might want to wait for the phone call from the dr's office. Different strokes for different folks.</p>
<p>early on in your relationship, when you were looking for clues of affection, do you swear that you never called FTD to determine if in fact said husband had ordered flowers for Valentines day? and what of Godiva? And let's not reawaken the Hallmark incident when you were seen peeking from the Sympathy section as his fingers plucked through the offerings and you hoped he would choose Romantic over Humorous. yes, caring takes many forms and looking deep into our own needy hearts we forgive many of them,..yeye</p>
<p>Beachy-
The kids who have a passion about anything-- the prom, the final four, their academics, the Dailey Show, "24", music, theater, what-have-you, I believe ARE just the kids who will be equally charged up about their college app. results. These are the kids who fit a lot of "living" into their lives. They don't put their lives on hold to sit in front of the mailbox or the computer 24-7. They (and the parents) have busy but balanced lives. They fit in the work, the fun, the coffee, the runs, etc. I personally give these kids a lot of credit for finding a creative, clever, legit way to problem-solve-- they are data seekers who find the information they seek. They go after what they want-- they don't just sit back and wait for it to drift their way. I work with several people who do not seem to put forth a lot of effort. They just glide along, saying that they don't have time to take care of something that needs to be done... and expect the go-getters, the problem-solvers, the responsible ones to take care of these issues. I, personally applaud the problem solvers, the go-getters, the ones with the motivation to take that extra step. I'd rather my kids not grow up to be the ones who sit and wait for everything to come to them. Just my $.02 . As I said above, this is an exciting, intense, busy time in the lives of these HS seniors. Good or bad, thats the way it is. College results are important, and if they can get some information quickly, what's wrong with that? I do not see these kids as insecure or needy-- quite the opposite. Gee, when I order something on line, I periodically check the UPS tracking system to see when it will arrive, and that is for something far less important than college acceptances. The data is out there for us to use. I don't see that someone who creatively figured this out as in any way insecure or needy, nor do I see them as partaking in a feeding frenzy, nor do I think these kids are incapable of relaxing and enjoying the little things in life. I won't repeat what I said in post #31, but in this technologically spohisiticated world, we do tend to expect things to happen quickly. But if CC slows down today and this doesn't post for a little while... I can wait...</p>