<p>Hi I'm applying to the Naval Academy for fall 2015 and I was hoping someone would read my personal statement and give me some criticism/feedback on what I have written. Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks!</p>
<p>The prompt is as follows:
(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.</p>
<p>My father graduated from the academy in 1992 and has been a part of the Navy Reserve for as long as I can remember. However, I never felt a desire to join myself until recently. Since the middle of my junior year I have felt a calling to serve a greater cause than myself. I realized that I worked harder and felt more satisfaction when I was serving others compared to when I was working for myself. When I found out about the Naval Academy Summer Seminar, I felt that it was a chance for me to discover whether military service was my calling.I had an amazing time at summer seminar and even though it was hard work I did not want to leave at the end of the week. I realized that I wanted a college experience filled with comradeship and close friendships that would instill a valuable moral code in me.
Naval service is appealing to me for many reasons.In the Navy I hope to learn a discipline and respect for others that I can not get anywhere else. I also love math and science and I know that there is a strong focus on those areas of study at the Academy. I will be able to learn about what I love as well as work in a field where I will be able to utilize my knowledge of those subjects to help other people and make the world a better place.
During the spring break of my junior year I went on a missions trip with my church high school group to one of the poorest parts of Long Beach, California. While there, we assisted a local church in their outreach ministry as well as maintained their property. We spent three days painting and repairing the outside of the church building. I learned how to work as a team, even if I did not like my team members. I also learned how to lead a team as I was assigned to assemble a team to paint the doors in the church courtyard. We were able to finish the job quickly by working together and I never could have done it alone. On the last day of the repair we held a free carnival for the local children. We had prepared for weeks before learning how to make balloon animals and do magic. This experience gave me a love for service to others. I no longer wanted to work for my own benefit after college, but for the benefit of others.
After college I want to make a difference. I know that attending the Naval Academy is the key to achieving this goal through military service. I believe that there is no better place to spend my college years than the Naval Academy where I can mature into the adult that I aspire to be.</p>