<p>Sorry if I should have just stuck this with the other topic. This one was kind of more rushed so it isn't as good and was harder for me to do.
My familys culture, community, and school have all profoundly shaped my dreams and aspirations. My sole aspiration is to become a naval officer, and they have each contributed in their own way to my desire to join the military. Where my cultural background and community drive my patriotism, my family and school have pushed me towards becoming an officer in the United States Navy.
Becoming a naval officer is the only way I can see myself satisfying my patriotism to the country. As a child, I never paid much attention to the history of my own country. As I grew up, I learned about my parents immigration due to the Vietnam War. Similar to my parents, I was detested by what actions transgressed during the course of the war. Even more depressing was the thought of the fate of all those whom failed to cross the ocean following the Fall of Saigon. The tragic deaths of my ethnic country, while sad, was only emphasized when I thought what if that happened to those around me. I had always toyed with the idea of joining the military, and this desire to protect my family and friends only drove it. As a member of various youth groups around my community, my peers and I frequently engage in a multitude of recreational activities. When I see their smiling faces as we play, I cant help but think it is for them and the next generation that I want to serve.
The idea of me joining the military still turns off my parents, but I have calmed them by my assurance that I will not be doing any front line fighting. In a family where education is considered a cornerstone of life, I have always been pushed to take the most rigorous classes possible in order to become what they consider a prestigious job, like a doctor or engineer. This persistence, while annoying, has helped me excel in the hard physical sciences. Due to this strength in science and my inclination to join the military, I naturally want to join the Navy.<br>
Conveniently, in addition to my school offering AP Physics and AP Chemistry, NJROTC is also available. It is here that I have learned the most about the life of military personnel. In addition to recruiters sharing their experiences, I have gained valuable knowledge from my two instructors, whom are retired members of the Navy. They have shared their opportunities of travel, working on military crafts with other people, and the pride that comes with being a veteran. Upon hearing these stories, I have fallen in love with the idea of joining the Navy. In order to prepare myself, I have used the program to research various ways to join. Currently, the most attractive of these is through OCS after attending college. I have also been active in the unit, acquiring leadership positions and participating on drill teams, in order to get a feel of what it will be like in the military; simultaneously strengthening my college application.</p>
<p>needs work-- can be more descriptive
show more instead of just telling </p>
<p>There are three basic essay styles you should consider:</p>
<p>Standard Essay: Take two or three points from your self-outline, give a paragraph to each, and make sure you provide plenty of evidence. Choose things not apparent from the rest of your application or light up some of the activities and experiences listed there.
Less-Is-More Essay: In this format, you focus on a single interesting point about yourself. It works well for brief essays of a paragraph or half a page.
Narrative Essay: A narrative essay tells a short and vivid story. Omit the introduction, write one or two narrative paragraphs that grab and engage the reader’s attention, then explain what this little tale reveals about you.</p>