Vanderbilt Parents

<p>We are staying in Nashville until the Tuesday after our student moves into the dorms for our own vacation. We haven’t spent much time in that part of the country. Would you advise in favor or against trying to visit with our student after the Sunday morning goodbye? I’m not sure if there would be enough time for the students to get away, and whether it would just be too much distraction. I don’t want to take away from the move in experience at all, or have our student feel obligated to see us, but I also don’t want our student to think we aren’t interested (read “dying to know every minute detail!”). What do you think?</p>

<p>I’ll venture an opinion, although my spouse went to grad school at Vandy and we both had jobs there in our 20s so we have a social circle of aging people to visit.<br>
We stayed over 2 nights to have dinner with our own friends. One thing you can witness without creating a spectacle is the march of the class behind bagpipes and Zeppos and administrators through the gates of Vanderbilt behind the band, marching with their own freshman houses.<br>
We stood on a knoll to watch and moved around a bit to see/hear but disappeared thereafter. Our son saw us as he walked in…but we made no attempt to speak to him. The students assemble on a pretty campus lawn in chairs and receive a speech from their Chancellor.<br>
You can generally watch this parade online on youtube at the vandy channel each year and they do not encourage parents to be there at all.<br>
Vandy is also “our” campus from our early years so it was a great memory for us however there was an element of “we don’t belong in this picture”.<br>
I would suggest that you take the time to see Nashville. Every 18 year old is different. Our son would have been mortified if we asked to dine with him or see him after the goodbyes but my kids also do not text or call except weekly and I do not think parents who text frequently with their students are wrong nor do I think they have clingy kids…(I am jealous actually of those whose kids drop by in texts often)</p>

<p>Sincerely focus on Nashville. If your son or daughter wants an extra trip/errand to Target or a meal in a restaurant, keep in touch by text but let them initiate, knowing you would be happy to see them but you don’t “need” to see them and it is optional. </p>

<p>Things to do that Native Nashvillians do. 2 to 3 hours in Cheekwood. The one mile walk around Radnor Lake…off of 12th/Granny White. An afternoon knocking around Franklin TN. A tour of Andrew Jackson’s home The Hermitage. Pancake Pantry in Hillsboro Village (go off times to avoid lines). The Loveless Cafe (go offtimes). Reservations are a must if you want to see a show at the Bluebird Cafe (go online). You can usually enjoy a casual hour at the Station Inn for the real deal bluegrass. I haven’t been to the new Country Music Hall of Fame but it is fun. The TN History Museum is worth a go. The freshman class is usually taken to the Frith Art Museum together for an evening. It has a nice cafe for lunch if you go there. </p>

<p>I would definitely consider the final goodbye the final goodbye. You can share some of the things you are doing with your student via texts and calls and pics. I hope you become as fond of Nashville as we are. You can pull up and gaze a bit at the Commons from the parking lot and see the freshman class coming and going in the evening without embarrassing your student. It is a pretty sight and one that you can drive away from with a full heart, knowing you student is blessed with magnificent resources and new faces. They will be busy in their freshman groups with their VUceptors and with their meetings with their advisors.</p>

<p>It’s ideal to come a few days before move-in rather than stay a few days after!</p>

<p>Faline - Thank you for all the suggestions. We will be spending 6 nights when we bring our S to Vanderbilt. He moves into his house on Tuesday for Band. We didn’t want to miss the weekend festivities so we are staying until Sunday. We thought it would be a great opportunity to explore Nashville.</p>

<p>My son’s matriculation fee credit does not seem to be posted to his “bill summary” but I do see it credited on his “recent activity”. Do I need to call them or am I missing something?</p>

<p>Go9ersjrh, Vandy Band is a great place to bond and to make friends that last all four years. They all go their separate ways as they choose their majors and internships and whether or not to go Greek etc but Band has its own parties and sense of belonging throughout. S2 lived with 3 band members, including two of the leaders one year in a Mayfield Lodge and he enjoyed being invited to Band get togethers very much.<br>
Looking at the list above, dining in East Nashville is also a must, a preservation area neighborhood full of hipsters and good places to eat and drink (see NYTimes and tripadvisor for dining ideas). Just trying to steer you to where Nashville natives are hanging out. There is probably a festival in Centennial Park! Many weekends a year…although don’t be tempted to cross the street to Vandy. My new favorite Temple of Quan in Nashville is the stunning Symphony Hall that reminds me a lot of where the Boston Symphony plays. It is that intimate and definitely where Nashvillians will be spending their evenings seeing the very fine Nashville Symphony and a roster of other music events. [Nashville</a> Events Venue](<a href=“schermerhorncenter.com - This website is for sale! - schermerhorncenter Resources and Information.”>http://www.schermerhorncenter.com/) Damaged heavily in the floods and up and running in all its glory again. The Schermerhorn will show you so much about cultural life in Nashville as well as touring the Frist Art Museum.</p>

<p>Go9ersjrh, when S1 was a freshman he was part of the Media Immersion program and moved in early. We helped him move in and it was nice to be able to do it in a quieter atmosphere. But we stayed (actually came back, we live 3 hours away) for move-in day/weekend and it was great! The upper class-men and faculty/staff that were helping were so welcoming. There was a meeting (I believe Sunday morning) where the administration thanked us for getting the kids to this point and asked us to turn over the responsibility of watching over them to the school. Once you leave that meeting you shouldn’t need to be with your child anymore. They’ll have a lot of meetings/info/socializing to do. I’ve got nothing to compare it to but I think the freshman experience at Vanderbilt is superb. They really help the students adjust to college life. Part of that is the parents letting go.
Then comes Parent Weekend. That’s when you’ll get one on one time with your child again. We took our son out for supper and back to our hotel room where he slept for 10 hours. All his friends were texting him to make sure he was OK because he had disappeared off campus and was immediately missed.</p>

<p>Thursday nights there is free music at Live on the Green downtown. Short cab ride from Vandy. I would definetly check out Centennial park across from campus. The Parthenon is beautiful, and like Faline said, usually the all day music festivals start with food trucks in late August/September. my girls walk there all the time from their dorms, and we park there for free on game days : )</p>

<p>The Gulch is a newer, hip area with great restaurants and interesting stores, 12th avenue south. It’s close to music row as well. Country music hall of fame is great if you like country music (even though I’m from here, I’m not a fan) the Ryman auditorium (grand ol Opry) is pretty great, and there are non-country acts that play as well. </p>

<p>Then there’s east nasty (east Nashville) which is the new “it” place to go. the Pharmacy, gauranteed the best burger you’ll ever eat, all in a cool beer garden with old fashioned sodas they mix right in front of you, and probably 30 different beers they either brew there, or find. Then head to Jennie’s ice cream a few blocks away. That’s one of our favorite nights out. East Nashville is very different now, and the architecture and shops are so cool.
The Farmers market is located on the side of bicentennial mall, behind the Capitol building. It’s great! Incredible restaurants, local fruits and veggies, along with all kinds of vendors. The fountains, and the Tn lore is really cool as well. These are all places my college girls go, and we love them as well. Hope you enjoy your visit in Nashville! My oldest is going to be a MOVE volunteer…maybe she’ll get to move in her younger sister? Getting really excited!</p>

<p>Oh…if you go to the farmers market…you MUST try the bacon cheese grits. TO DIE FOR.</p>

<p>Seconding moonpie’s recommendation for The Pharmacy. D made that our dinner pick in April and it was delicious. We had planned to go to Jeni’s afterwards, but we were too full. We waited quite a stretch of time to get our table at The Pharmacy, so go early.</p>

<p>Yes, 2VU…the wait is unbelievable…so go early, or drink beer while you wait, which is what we do : ) my recommendation is to get one burger, and then share an order of tots…and order the beer gravy, it’s not on menu, but man is it good. We usually walk around for about an hour before we go to Jenis, but you could wait in line for an hour there, too! Try the music city chocolate (I think that’s the name) but its dark chocolate with cayenne pepper. Sooo good! We will probably be going there Friday night after we move our oldest in the dorm. Maybe we need a CC secret symbol to find each other LOL!</p>

<p>I hate to seem like a downer but three weeks from today I will be on my way back home without my oldest son and panick is beginning to set in. Back in December it seemed like a great idea to venture out of the norm of our area and have him experience all new people and places but now that its right around the corner I am beginning to worry.
My son will not know anyone at Vanderbilt and I wonder if most kids will be in the same boat or will lots of kids come in knowing others from their high schools or home towns? I worry that being 900 miles from home and alone will be too much.
I would like to hear how other kids handled the transition of going from a well formed social life to not knowing anybody or experiencing homesickness and any advise on how you as parents handled it.
Thank you all for all the words of wisdom and information I have already gained from your posts!</p>

<p>I friend of mine suggested that I get my incoming D a laptop lock for use in dorm, library, etc., and a safe for her dorm room to keep her ids, credit cards, wallet, etc. in when she is not in her room. Is that necessary???</p>

<p>Every room is locked by a key (each roomie gets one). Most roommates keep accountable and always lock the door before leaving. If not, well, theft is very rare but of course always a possibility. A safe and laptop lock could make sense in that case. Locking the door is easier!</p>

<p>Shouldn’t ever be leaving a laptop unattended in a public place.</p>

<p>Momthreeboys,
When S began at VU in fall 2002, the largest school representation was from Montgomery Bell Academy (MBA) in Nashville with about 15 students in the class and the high school with the second largest representation (around a dozen students) was in Columbus, OH. His roommate was one of those from Columbus. When D entered in fall 2005, the high school with the highest representation was Mountain Brook from just outside Birmingham. I think there were about a dozen students from Mountain Brook. With a class of around 1500, this should tell you that there is not a large cohort from one geographical area.
At the time my children were undergrads, students had the option of attending a summer orientation for both parents and students. Since we only live 2 hours away, we took advantage of this. I remember listening to a talk for parents about the student transition by the physician who headed a department for student mental health. They are very tuned in to normal and abnormal behaviors for students as they make this important transition. Your son will have a VUcept group with a student leader, as well as an RA and a faculty advisor in his house. Many activities will be planned to help him make new friends and move smoothly into his new life.</p>

<p>Both of my kids had good social lives at their high school, but the friends they made as undergrads are the people they consider to be their best friends, even now. One was Greek and the other was independent, so they all seem to find their own way socially, IMO. Although S married a VU Law classmate, all his attendants were undergrad friends. D lives in Nashville and has 2 reunions a year with her peer group that is dispersed from Atlanta to Boston, but also has a number of undergrad friends who are also still in Nashville. All I can say is that it was an awesome experience, both academically and socially, for my two (so much so that I have Double 'Dores as of this fall when D begins her grad school program). I hope your S has a similar experience over the next 4 years:)</p>

<p>Vandy son’s freshman desk had one drawer that locked where I had him keep those few things that cost money for boys…sunglasses, passport when he had travel plans, ipod. Of course a drawer can be jimmied open but it is a deterrent. </p>

<p>best idea is to not have a lot of valuables in your room.</p>

<p>Mom3Boys - The realization is also setting in here. (I paid the tuition bill today.) The guest bed is covered with stuff to take to college. The boxes will ship this week once we get S’s address. It is an exciting and apprehensive time.</p>

<p>I really not worried about S. He also is the only one from his HS and the area where we live. He will make his way and Vandy seems to have an excellent program for integrating the 1st years. We also heard when we visited in the spring that the faculty and administration is there to assist our student. The one I’m worried about is me. We are going straight into being empty nesters when we drop him off. I’m used to going to every football game and musical performance. We rarely missed anything. Now we’ll be 2000 miles away and only able to see a few football games and who knows about the musical performances.
The next few weeks are exciting times!</p>

<p>MOM3boys. Our D had same story. She wanted to leave our city and state, travel 1,000 from home to see “the real world” with students from all over the world. She too was nervous and questioned her choice as her friends left to attend our state flagship with 40 other students from our HS. They all new their roommate since first grade. She did not know one person at Vandy or in Nashville.<br>
Remember all the students are in the same boat and looking to make friends. Vandy does a nice job in helping freshman meet each other. By Thanksgiving she was happy to see us and her HS friends but couldn’t wait to get back to her new world and new friends at Vanderbilt.
On the other hand we miss her everyday but are blessed to see her so happy as she moves into adulthood at Vanderbilt.</p>

<p>My D began at another southern school (we are from the midwest). She knew absolutely no one when she arrived at school, and she was far from home. It was hard when we left, because suddenly the weight of what she was doing hit her - and of course, it was hard for me to leave her that way. She had a rough first semester, but she survived (although getting her to return from Christmas break was interesting, to say the least). She made a decision to transfer to Vandy for academic reasons, and by the time her freshman year ended, she was sad to leave the friends she made. It all started again at Vandy, although this time she was friends with her roommate (a friend from the first school transferred with her, and they roomed together). It was easier this time around, though, because she knew from experience that she would find her people. I think going outside her comfort zone was the best thing she could have done. Now that she is out of school & on her own, I see how much her experiences have helped her mature. She moved to a new city where she knew no one … roomed with strangers who soon became her friends … and made lots of other friends. It may be hard at first (or it may not!), but it is a good thing when all is said and done.</p>

<p>Thank you all for your reassuring posts… In my head I know he will be ok, now my heart just needs to get on board!</p>

<p>I hope like Go9ersjrh says, it’s harder on me than him.</p>