Or maybe those who came from middle or lower SES backgrounds have a wide range of upward mobility (from their parents’ SES) to count as “successful launch”, while those from high SES backgrounds feel the pressure to aim for something elite to avoid the “failure” of downward mobility (from their parents’ SES).
Suppose someone attends a typical state university, graduates with a bachelor’s degree in business, and goes to work in a typical general business job. Would they (and their parents) see themselves as a “success” if:
They grew up in a lower to lower middle income household, with parents without education beyond high school and not in particularly skilled employment.
They grew up in a high income household with parents who are successful physicians, investment bankers, management consultants, startup founders, etc. who are also alumni of prestigious colleges and universities.
However, even without all of the silly award designations and the like, social status is typically competitive, whether generally, or in the specific area of students at a high school. For the more academically inclined subset of high school students, matriculating to a prestigious college may be the biggest status symbol that a student can have some influence on (as opposed to purely inherit from their parents). Other subsets of students may compete for social status in other ways (e.g. on the sports field).
Of course, not all high school students place the same amount of importance on social status. But that reflects that people in general place varying levels of importance on social status, although it is worth noting that life in general is competitive (e.g. getting a job, keeping a job, finding a spouse, etc.).
I’m late to this thread but I’m not a fan of wear your swag to school day for a number of reasons.
What about the 10% (or whatever the number is) of kids who aren’t going to college? Doesn’t seem inclusive for them.
What about the kids who aren’t going to a college they are particularly excited to go to…whether because it wasn’t their first choice, or it’s the only one their parents can afford, or they have to live at home, or they are nervous to leave their grandparent with cancer, etc? Again, doesn’t seem like that would be fun for a kid, or inclusive.
I do see that perspective, but it seems clear that for the majority, college T-shirt day is fun and being able to celebrate is good. I think for many, it helps replace some of the nervousness with excitement. Kids can appreciate that others are happy, even if they are on a different path.
Back to the issue of stress in high school, I’m still encountering a lot of angst about test scores. After three years of colleges being mostly test optional, I’m surprised kids haven’t fully relaxed about standardized tests.
I make it a point of emphasizing to students that test optional isn’t going away and that there will be a college for them. It’s really important for many kids to find colleges that don’t consider test scores, and that are not highly competitive.
I’m aware of those points and I should have clarified. I’m referring to students for whom those parameters don’t apply. Not top of the class, unlikely to get a “high” score, not aiming for tippy top schools, not going to get a scholarship, not applying to any college at all that requires test scores. IOW, a lot of average kids whose parents might be on CC.
It doesn’t end after high school and college. It continues with all the engagement and pregnancy announcements on social media. And don’t forget the gender reveals, fancy weddings, elaborate bachelorette parties, etc.
D has seen people sharing they bought a car on Instagram with several of pictures of them posing with said car. Same with buying a house. We really over-celebrate stuff these days…
Another source of stress: colleges not being very transparent about admission. Here, I mean the colleges other than the most selective ones, particularly public ones, where they can be more transparent about the following:
Historical or preset admission thresholds and admission formulas if that is how the college admits.
How admission selectivity differs by major or division if the college admits by major or division.
More transparency would help more students find safeties, and reduce the risk of students overreaching and getting shut out because they don’t know.
Agreed.
I think, there is special anxiety associated with the time around finishing high school. There’s a lot coming together; it’s a huge change in life, living alone, financial uncertainties, away from home, loss of friend circles, feeling as if they’ll be making whole-life decisions about future professional paths about which they know next to nothing,…
Given their openly (or suppressed) anxious state, then repeatedly seeing “everyone else’s” apparent successes can be much more demoralizing, than later in life when at least you do have established yourself as an adult (whether grown or barely 5’).