<p>I suppose it’s a matter of how you allocate the resources you have. We chose to send younger two D’s to private schools. So this was less $$ available for S’s college. Also, we could make older D drop her not especially cheap EC.</p>
<p>But S did not apply himself to his studies as he could have in high school. I was not going to penalize the other two because S was immature and did not work hard enough to qualify for decent merit aid at selective schools. And he has learned that he needs to work hard to get what he wants.</p>
<p>And the third child put us over the edge in terms of saving for college. One would have been no problem. Two, a stretch, but doable. But the third - yikes. Starting with expensive child care, so you can get to the job that gives you a high EFC.</p>
<p>Singersmom is correct. Set some very definitive ground rules with your student before the application process begins. And those ground rules have to follow YOUR specific set of circumstances, not those of your students friends, your friends or those who post on CC. Don’t let emotions or the excitement your student feels over so called “dream schools” get them mired in debt.</p>
<p>Within broad limits, I think students should be able to attend the school that they choose. </p>
<p>Many of the schools think that also…especially in the case of those who are better students.</p>
<p>Check out the online calculator that Princeton uses to show what your “real” bill would be if you attend. Yale and Harvard are also working on such calculators . These only are pertinent to 15 -20 schools, perhaps, but it will give you some idea of you are as “unqualified for financial aid” as you think you are. In fact, this has been a major problem for all schools…the fact that the “posted price” is generally not paid by half or more of their students.</p>
<p>Well… honestly, one reason ex-H and I only had two kids is because they are expensive little money pits (I live them dearly, don’t get me wrong). We knew we couldn’t provide the same lifestyle for a family of 5 or more that we could for 4. Again… choices and priorities. I am not saying in any way that it is wrong to make different choices than we did. But most people who complain about money at college time could have made some different choices.</p>
<p>Really offensive post from UVA, not only by speculating on someone’s financial past while knowing nothing about them, but also by dismissing so many schools as “middling” and not worth the price. Not worth it to YOU, perhaps.
Jeesh.</p>
<p>Please consider your whole family (do you have younger kids?) lifestyle, etc. when making college financial decisions. (We made mistakes with our first kid.) Are you willing to borrow money or not? If yes, how much per year is your limit? Will kid be expected to work during the school year? Don’t forget transportation costs for far away schools. Just tell your kid now–“We will pay $# for your education. The school you choose has to be within the budget.” Show him the numbers. Some schools, if the price is too high and he doesn’t qualify for merit or need-based aid, might be crossed off the list right now. Others, you might have to wait and see what they offer. Have a financial safety.</p>
<p>Let’s not bring up past choices when they can only move forward. We have no idea what brought someone to a specific financial position. 20+ years of finances can be a very complex picture. (OK, I have 7 kids and no savings. . .slap me, but I can’t give my kids back now, get back $ that was lost, make different decisions about job changes, education, etc.) If your choices led to a perfect position, I’m happy for you–but others can’t re-do what has already been done.</p>
<p>I just think the whole college thing is really crazy. It just didn’t seem to be like this when we applied. </p>
<p>Given the economic times, a parent would have had to save about $1000 per month for 18 years to have enough money for a private education…so if you have 2 or 3 kids, that is like paying a second mortage for a stretch of 18-20 years. If life didn’t throw you a curve ball during that time, you would have accumulated around $200K per kid (the financial folks will say it is more given interst, etc but given the current conditions, many people have lost money)…give or take for highs and lows in the market…maybe a bit more. </p>
<p>It is still hard after all that time to part with close to a half million dollars (2 kids). The numbers are big, the process is stressful and I have to wonder if it is all worth it going the private route. You cauld take half that, send the kids to big state U and use the remander to start a company so the kids have jobs when they are done…just thought I would throw that out there…</p>
<p>Yes…I think that is a lot to set aside for education.</p>
<p>My experience in college was a lot of students didn’t take their education seriously as freshmen and sophomores. I wouldn’t blindly make sacrifices to save $2000 or $3000 a month in order to provide a private education for my kids unless they were very focused on education and I knew they would take it very seriously.</p>
<p>Even at expensive private schools, many students spend a lot of time partying and getting high or doing drugs. I think that is a waste of hard earned money and feel bad for the parents who have sacrificed many years for their kids and then the kids waste their opportunity.</p>
<p>High school students, especially those who live in affluent areas, often don’t seem to understand that families can spend a great deal of money on intangibles. Retirement savings, insurance, car repairs, all the boring bits of adult life. That’s if you’re lucky, because there’s also the bad news side. The OP could have significant medical bills to pay. Maybe elderly parents or other relatives to support. There could have been a few bad years without an income, or a bankruptcy. A nasty mold infestation requiring tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of dollars of repair work. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. </p>
<p>It’s OK, they’ll figure it out soon enough. ;)</p>
<p>Even at expensive private schools, many students DON’T spend a lot of time partying and getting high or doing drugs. How do you know what kind child you will have? I guess I was more optimistic than you. I am happy we were able to provide our son with a private school education, which he took full advantage of. We did it through a combination of saving, paying out of current income and borrowing a little. I can’t think of a thing I would rather have spent that money on.</p>
<p>“If you do not qualify for merit aid then you make enough that if you saved you would be able to pay for his college. Think, instead of buying that huge house or buying that brand new BMW just because your other one was 2 years old was really necessary? Keeping up with the Jones really does kill.” </p>
<p>There are all sorts of situations where EFC is not true. And even in cases where families can find a way to pay a big college bill, it does not mean it is the best plan. (It often makes sense to buy a Honda even if you can afford a BMW). It all comes down to a balance of fit and finances.</p>
<p>I am a value shopper. I like to buy the product that provides the best value for my money. In my opinion, state schools provide an excellent value for my money. The money saved by not going to private schools can be better spent on family vacations, tutoring in high school if needed, summer camps, and many other opportunities for kids that mean a great deal to their growth and development.</p>
<p>Living a paupers lifestyle for 18 years just to save for a highly expensive private school education doesn’t make sense.</p>
<p>Setting aside $3000 a month from my payment would mean a paupers lifestyle to me.</p>
<p>I think some of the posters are not taking time to think through how complex life can be. We know one family that inherited a family cabin that had been in the extended family for decades. It is, I have heard, an amazing place – and the site of many major family events such as weddings. There is no way the family could afford this little slice of heaven if it hadn’t been inherited. </p>
<p>Alas, that little slice of heaven boosts the net worth of the family considerably. The family was faced with selling the cabin (everyone’s loss) or having the student look at some very modestly priced educational paths. Thank God the student found some happy choices in state at public institutions. </p>
<p>This is a family that lives very prudently. There’s no “keeping up the Jones” at all. </p>
<p>To me, what is crazy, is that a student is not considered financially independent by colleges until age 24. That’s nuts. If the kid can drink, vote, buy a house, start a business and run for political office, why can’t the kid’s financial aid application stand on its own?</p>
<p>*To me, what is crazy, is that a student is not considered financially independent by colleges until age 24. That’s nuts. If the kid can drink, vote, buy a house, start a business and run for political office, why can’t the kid’s financial aid application stand on its own? *</p>
<p>There’s only one reason for this “age 24 thinking.” Colleges don’t have enough money to meet need as it is. Lowering the age isn’t going to make more money magically appear. </p>
<p>And…If the age was lowered to age 18, nearly all kids would qualify for Pell…and that would be an expensive problem for the feds.</p>
<p>^^
That isn’t the only reason. No kids standing “on their own” at age 18 are created equal, as it were. The one from the financially advantaged family will still have family reserves to fall back on, documented or no. They will then be taking resources from those whose families have nothing. How can that possibly be right?</p>