<p>Matt - for your younger brother, a trip to Johnson O’Connor Research Foundation would be money well spent. It’s amazing how well he would do once he has a goal and focuses on a career he will actually love doing. They do aptitude testing, and tell you, based on a whole day’s worth of testing, what careers you will simply love. It’s not cheap ($750) but well worth it to find out what you will love to do. And if you do what you love, you’re often very good at it, and can often make good money doing it.</p>
<p>I don’t know where your brother is located, but Johnson O’Connor is in many major cities around the U.S. My husband and I both went, as well as my kids, and it’s a real eye-opener. Money well spent when a person is lacking direction or focus. Google them and check it out!</p>
<p>Johnson O’Connor is a great place. My Dad signed me up for a session with them when I was in my early/mid 20s and trying to figure out some things. It did help me find a direction I wanted to go. I haven’t done that for my kids yet but might need to.</p>
<p>Regarding the younger brother mentioned, it might or might not address that situation. If there is a lack of drive because he is majoring in something he really isn’t interested in or doesn’t have the right aptitudes for, then it might help. But it could be that he is just at a phase of his life where he is more interested in “fun” than the real world and doesn’t want to deal with real world stuff. (Much like my 10-grade son who has lots of stuff he is interested in and good at, but would prefer to read cartoons and play computer games rather than maximizing on his other interests!)</p>
<p>My D had wanted to be a musical theatre actor almost her whole life. She was a professional actor in the years before high school. I thought she would really embrace the whole application and audition process because she was finally on the path to what she wanted. Guess what? I had to push her every step of the way. Her coaches had to push her. Applications were late, deadlines missed, prescreens were not that good due to time constraints. She refused to apply to very many schools, limiting her choices. So now, with May 1 looming, she tells me that she really doesn’t like to sing (!) and probably wants to major in something else. I feel like I missed her signals, and didn’t do her any favors by carrying her along. Maybe she was afraid to disappoint me. I’m not saying that is what is going on with your son, just that sometimes the behavior is demonstrating the feelings they don’t want to or know how to express. It’s all a work in progress!</p>
<p>Merlehay, that is how it was with my son when he thought he would major in Jazz Studies- drum kit! I found myself nagging him about practicing, etc. I asked him over and over if music was what he wanted to pursue, and he kept saying yes. Finally I told him it was clear he wasn’t invested and he admitted he wanted to pursue MT/Acting. Once he knew we would support him, he became enthusiastic about the major, singing constantly around the house, etc. I still had to keep him on his toes regarding schedule, but that has been a life long issue for him I’m afraid </p>
<p>My son has had the chance to take some college classes this year, and I do think he’s realizing there are other things he could do (law or journalism, perhaps). So of the next year, I’m going to try to get him to think seriously about all the possibilities out there.</p>
<p>My daughter did not apply to any audition schools, but did apply to an audition scholarship. I told her I wanted it done a week early. I told her that every day for 2 months. The week it was due, I think I asked her every 5 minutes. Oh, she had a cold. Oh, the camera in the theater room was ‘stuck’. The final crisis was that the thumb drive had some kind of error and the two monologs couldn’t be split. In the end, she sent it to her boyfriend out of state, he did something to it and got she got it back and submitted with almost an hour to spare! </p>
<p>It’s the rare person who (especially at age 17) has both the discipline and “big picture” forethought to plan ahead AND the ability to react well under pressure (deadlines, performances, etc.); for most teenagers, one or the other is a strength, and their goal in college will be to grow into a better balance. For some of us it takes a lifetime. For many boys, that executive function/frontal lobe business doesn’t really grow up all the way till they’re in their early 20s, so they need a little administrative assistance. I agree that drive and self-direction are crucial, but that doesn’t always mean the organizational ability is there yet. Good to remind ourselves that they are still teenagers. :)</p>
<p>Totally agree @TImes3. I can’t question my S’s work ethic. At varying times I can’t pull him away from the piano, or he’s immersed in learning lines, or writing a skit, or dancing 4 hours a day, or looking for the perfect song, or putting together the perfect costume, or. . . But when it comes to keeping ALL the balls in the air at the same time, and working on “annoying” details - like essays, applications, scheduling and, God forbid, talking face-to-face with teachers/counselors/accompanists, to move everything forward - he can’t seem to pull it off - yet. I DO see some growth however, and perhaps as his executive function/frontal lobe matures, he will actually be able to handle searching and planning for his own auditions, while showing up and giving his all to whatever his current production is - and feed himself and remember his dance shoes all at the same time. But I’m also thinking early 20s might be a little overly optimistic. For @VoiceTeacher and all those other MT/Theatre/Music faculty out there - God (or other benevolent Being) Bless You!</p>
<p>I feel the need to tell my son to watch the swear words in his monos from now on. I mean, I want to do that anyway, as a mom, but if Voice Teacher says so, he might listen. </p>
<p>I have an older S and a junior D going through the process now. We found with S that taking him on college tours and having him realize what he is was working towards made him more invested and motivated. We just got back from looking at Chicago schools with D and she was already motivated, now she is inspired!! If you can afford it maybe seeing what his life could look like will motivate your S.</p>
<p>@voiceteacher thanks for another insightful post. </p>
<p>Motivation is a funny thing. Our D has always been driven. She started figure skating at the age of 3 with about a dozen other girls at our local rink. After many years of training, competitions, shows, etc., there is only one other girl left in D’s peer group. All of the others dropped out. Even after she got more heavily involved in MT she continued to skate, although with a bit less intensity. There are still two days a week where she’ll be on the ice at 6:00 am, go to school, and attend a rehearsal until 10:00 pm. At this point she is not too far away from passing her senior qualification from the USFSA, which is her ultimate goal. This will allow her to become a private coach and earn $20-30 an hour, which she knows will come in handy as a struggling actor. I have no doubt that she will succeed out of sheer force of will.</p>
<p>I know that there are a lot of other MT student athletes out there as well. Just watching them do their thing makes me tired.</p>
<p>Her younger brother is her polar opposite on the motivation scale. He is beyond bright - he built two gaming computers from scratch before he was 13 - but he could not care less about school, grades, and homework. We’re concerned that his poor GPA will prevent him from getting into a good college. You can bet that once D heads off to college he will get a lot more of our attention, like it or not!</p>
<p>My son loves the attention he receives on stage, but he hates the attention he gets from us. Sometimes I have to force myself not to quiz him at the dinner table. That’s the trouble with being an only child with two over-anxious parents! The good news is he finally finished his audition for the summer program. At least he has a sense of what the prescreens are all about. </p>
<p>@TheBurkeMoses - I am very happy you joined this forum. I find myself connecting with your words and now I must buy your book LOL!</p>
<p>“Conversely, if you have a child that just has to “have it,” there is no way on God’s green Earth you will be able to stop them from pursuing a career as a performer.”</p>
<p>This is so true in my S’s case, he has no back up plan. He thinks anyone with a back up plan should pursue the back up plan. There is nothing else for him but the theatre. I hope he stays as driven as he is today. I’ve always made a conscience effort to praise him on how hard he works, not how talented he is. I tell him he was born with gifts but only with hard work will those gifts serve him well. My advice didn’t come from this forum or have anything to do with acting/singing/dancing. I know nothing about “the business” but my father taught me work ethic, I taught my S work ethic. </p>
<p>@MTMajorCook same here. When my son went to the finals of the scholarship auditions they all asked him what is your back up plan. He said just as your son did. I find that amazing that most of these kids have that same passion. Yes they have a gift but you are right it is the passion and hard work they put into everything they do which will make them succeed. Thanks @TheBurkeMoses for putting that out there.</p>
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