<p>My son says he wants to do a BFA, and I do believe him. He's even talking about schools now. But I have to do a lot of nagging now to get him to prepare for auditions. I pushed him to apply to Young Arts--he threw something together at the last minute. (He was not chosen, which was no surprise to me.) He wants to go to a summer program, but he won't prepare his audition. I fear for next fall when it's time to do his prescreens. I know I should just back off and let him pay the price, but it's very hard. I just needed to vent. Thank you.</p>
<p>if coaching is something you want and can afford (and some coaches take scholartship kids too), a “side-benefit” is that your S will meet other kids from the same coaching group and sometimes it helps light a fire when they see how together and organized the other kids are 
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<p>I made my D a list at the beginning of the summer and told her she had to have it done by the time schools started. I gave her a list of the current audition requirements for all her schools. I said please find your monologues using these requirements. Your S will also need his songs. I told her to write an essay, 500 words, on “why do I want to be an actor?” This essay comes up a lot. Your S should just write "why do I want to study music theatre?’ I also asked her to write two paragraphs about each school. Things she liked, why did she want to go there. This made her think about that aspect of each school and was good interview prep. When the common app essay came out in July I gave her that too and said “write this.” Your S could probably also write about a mentor or hero; that question comes up very frequently.
I gave her a time frame to get it done and then stepped back. They feel like they have more power this way. I was watching though and would have spoken up if I didn’t see things getting done. You could suggest he plan out what he needs to do over the time he has available.
We were in pretty good shape by the time school started with all this. You might also require he get a couple songs recorded or the monos. He’d have to do the slates later. But all this would be a good start.</p>
<p>If he has to be pushed into preparing for auditions, the reality may be that, no matter his talent level, this is not a serious pursuit for him. And, possibly better to come to that realization now, than after 4 years</p>
<p>It also helps if there can be a different voice than yours telling hime what needs to be done. I find that if I know something needs to be prepared/recorded/submitted, I have the vocal coach tell him. Somehow, an outside party has more credibility than ‘mom’ does. </p>
<p>Is your son a junior? I found that junior academic year to be atrocious…keeping grades high, AP tests, SAT tests and prep. Your son may be feeling that those are the priorities right now and that is a good thing. He can spend his summer preparing for the auditions once the rigors of his junior year area over. Artists often work under a very different set of timelines. I don’t think that this is a reflection of your son’s motivation to pursue this as a career…just that he is 17 and an artist :)</p>
<p>If you prevent him from failing now, five years from now when you are not there to do things for him, what will happen? The only way to be successful in this business is to take control of your own future. I would tell him that from now on you are happy to answer questions, teach him to do things, etc. but if he doesn’t take the initiative to take control of his own career, then he is responsible for the consequences. Let him fail a few times and he will either decide to get it together or he will decide that this career path takes more work than he is willing to do. That lesson is better learned now than later.</p>
<p>~VT</p>
<p>Matt - what’s been your experience with kids who don’t, won’t or can’t give 110% to theatre? You must know from the alumni who have graduated from various programs.</p>
<p>Is it ever a maturity thing and for the kid who doesn’t always go the extra mile at 17 - are they ever successful later on in the “real world”? Or, in your experience, is it an inborn thing - that they’re either born with the drive and determination to be successful in this business, or they’re not? You must have seen it all amongst your alumni. Any surprises? (Kids who you thought had the drive and went no where, or kids you thought didn’t have the drive and determination, but went on to be successful). Any insight? Thanks!</p>
<p>Love your blog BTW.</p>
<p>I am hoping it’s a maturity thing. He’s never had to do much to prepare for auditions for the community theater he has done so far, so this is new for him. Once he’s in a show, he gives it his all. So I’m hoping he embraces the challenge.</p>
<p>Is he in touch with any other kids his age who are considering this process–friends from theater or summer programs, kids on the Facebook group for applicants (this year’s is “the Unified,” don’t know about next year’s), etc.? I found with my son that good ol’ peer pressure was a big help! Not all kids are great at planning–in fact, as a lifelong high school teacher, I’d venture to say most typical teenagers are not. And I bet he’ll get more focused once the pressure feels real. I think the biggest help in our case was the summer program, because he was suddenly surrounded by kids who had the same goals as his, so they were both his role models and his potential competitors. Good luck–at least you’re starting early! :)</p>
<p>I agree with Times3. The summer program made the process real to my son. Before the program, the audition process was more of an abstract idea, to happen sometime in the future. </p>
<p>I do think a summer program would be great for him. We’ve missed the deadlines for a few, but the one at University of the Arts is a possibility. </p>
<p>Sometimes I think girls have a little advantage here because in most community theaters they have not gotten parts they have wanted because there are so many girls. They realize there is a lot of competition. Boys tend to be a “big fish”. Every community theatre I have been around they are always in need of more boys. I think if you can get him in a summer program he will get a reality check and that might light the fire in him that he needs to prep for auditions in order to be competitive.</p>
<p>Have him read some threads on CC. Many kids are in school situations where none of their peers are going through this process and don’t “get it”. Likewise for many H.S. counselors, and even teachers in the arts. We found this to be true for my S, and he attends an “Arts” H.S. While I was “bullying” his counselor about things in spring of his junior year, his peers - and parents - had no clue about what needed to be done until well into fall of senior year. It’s hard for a 17-year-old to feel the pressure, when everyone else around him is still on “coast”. </p>
<p>^That’s a good point–even the best informed, most conscientious guidance counselors have little to no experience with this process. I found the most befuddling part (besides the urgency of early planning) to be the recommendation letters, since each school seems to require a different configuration of letters with crazy deadlines. I actually made a spreadsheet to send to the college counselor (and to the letter-writers) to explain all the different protocols. At first they clearly thought I was insane, but then they admitted that it helped. Since I work at the high school, I had to protect my credibility but also make sure those letters were done right!</p>
<p>I see @voiceteacher’s point and @bisouu’s. Yes, these kids must learn to manage themselves and the business end of their careers. But they are also artists and if you’ve ever noticed, artists are sometimes not the most organized. They function in the present. They can be intensely focused in the “now” but that thing that is due next month is no where on their radar. </p>
<p>So, they need to learn how to handle these organizational tasks. The key word being “learn.” I think there are ways we can help them learn. We each know our kids best. I told my D what to do and the time frame to do it in. That was enough guidance for her. Before that she seemed a bit overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. </p>
<p>@BethsMom My experience has been that drive trumps talent with only one exception (I’ll get to that in a minute). My undergraduate degree is from one of the world’s top conservatories. My colleagues were incredibly talented, but most are no longer working in the music business. I was actually one of the least talented when I began and I feel I’ve done very well. The reality is there are more people who want to be in this business than there will ever be room for. In order to be successful you need to have an insane work ethic and be willing to work around the clock to get what you want. Literally. When I was working 9 am to midnight to make things happen, I had friends who said I worked too hard and I should focus more on my art (which is what they did). As far as I know only one of them is still working in the business and she married into big money and therefore doesn’t need to worry about earning a living. As far as my students are concerned, I’ve seen the exact same. Three years ago one of my graduating seniors told me that she knew she was accidentally accepted. Admissions was supposed to have rejected her. That knowledge made her work harder than her more talented colleagues - she has not stopped working professionally since graduation. I can think of at least a dozen students who were extremely talented, lacked drive, and didn’t do their work without being threatened with a bad grade. None of them are working right now in the business even though based on talent alone they should be.</p>
<p>Do some kids mature into the work ethic they need to succeed? I’m sure some do. However, if they aren’t working as hard as their peers, they will likely fall farther and farther behind as they get older and it will become harder and harder to catch up. Only one example of a late bloomer comes to mind and he is actually a visual artist and he falls under the one exception I mentioned above - he is INSANELY talented. When you look at his work you know it is incredible, it is unlike anything else out there, and you can see that he is clearly brilliant. Think of people on shows like American Idol and The Voice. They are insanely talented and they get lucky. But then again I’ve seen insanely talented singer/songwriters playing in small dives because they know they need to promote themselves but they just don’t have the drive to do it. In regards to the question about whether or not I’ve been surprised, I can’t think of any instances off of the top of my head. You can usually tell by the end of their senior year whether or not they are going to make it happen. I may be surprised ten years from now, but right now everyone is basically doing what I expected. If anything I’ve been surprised at how easily some of the motivated students have given up. </p>
<p>It does seem to me that some people are born with drive while others are not. My middle brother and I are both driven while my youngest brother (a senior in college) is still trying to find himself and what he wants to do. My brother and I are currently trying to get him to think about post-graduation and applying for jobs so he can at least have a place to live and food to eat. My brothers and I have the same parents and I feel like they gave us equal attention, but there is definitely a difference between us. There is an author named Daniel Pink who has several books on the market including one called “Drive.” I haven’t read it yet but I hear is really good. </p>
<p>My son is only two right now. It will be very interesting to see how things are with him sixteen years from now. If I could freeze him at this age, I would. Good luck to all of you dealing with this process right now. Its definitely difficult. The good thing is that a degree in a creative field can be very beneficial in other fields (see Daniel Pink’s “A Whole New Mind”). </p>
<p>~VT</p>
<p>P.S. Glad to hear you enjoy the blog :)</p>
<p>VT your perspective is always appreciated. Thank you for contributing!</p>
<p>Thanks so much VoiceTeacher! We’ve all learned so much from you. </p>
<p>@VoiceTeacher - thank you for being so generous in educating everyone. All of us are your grateful students.</p>