Our daughter is a ballerina. She’s been en pointe since she was ten years old and has had many leading roles in her ballet company’s performances. Her teachers are former Russian principal dancers. They’ve taught her the merits of hard work and dedication to her craft. She just loves it. She’s in eighth grade and headed to high school next year.
Between class and rehearsals, she will continue to be at the studio 25-30 hours a week. The problem is that this EC leaves no time for anything else. She gets out of school at 3:00, does an hour of homework, and is at the studio by 4:30. She returns home by 9:00 to dinner and more homework. Weekends are packed with dance and homework. She’s tested into all honors at our local competitive high school and we don’t want her to take any less. She has friends at ballet who are older and have found this schedule to be, at the very least, extremely demanding. Very little sleep ensues, especially when you get to junior year and a load of APs.
How much does such a passion like this count for college admission? We don’t want to ask her to quit as she loves it. Of course, we will keep a close eye on her stress level and her grades but I’m wondering if anyone else has a son or daughter with just one EC that is very time consuming. Is it worth it? Is it a problem if she can’t do much else other than ballet and school?
She will not be majoring in dance at college. She’s ok with that. She’s a bright girl and doesn’t really want to dance professionally but can’t see herself stopping while still living at home. She has other interests - loves to write and cook and loves animals.
Thanks, @GMTplus7 , I’ve heard this is true. I looked at the Common App for the first time and saw all of those open boxes to fill with ECs and just think her boxes will look so empty!
Agreed with GMT. I do wonder though at a parent who is grooming their children for “top schools” who are freshman and 8th grade. Let your children be themselves. And then see what colleges are best matches.
That said… If your D were to add another activity, consider community service. And, no, doing a trip to some 3rd world country to volunteer is not required.
I used to be a ballerina too. The 30+ hours in the studio on top of the honors courses proved to be too much for me.
Of course a college will prefer to see devotion to one EC instead of a “laundry list”. But make sure she isn’t biting off more than she can chew.
Does your daughter want to take all honors classes? If not, just let her take the rigor of classes she wants. Taking all honors/AP classes isn’t always necessary to get into college.
I hear you @“Erin’s Dad” but I’m not grooming anyone. I’m not sure where you’re getting that idea. Our kids just are who they are. If I’m guilty of anything, it’s just jumping the gun a bit on learning more about the process. I have many friends with kids who are juniors and I just thought it would be interesting to dip my toe in a bit and ask some questions.
Neither of our kids know I’m checking into any of this. As for our daughter, believe me, I would rather her be hanging out with friends and we probably ask her every few months if she really wants to continue ballet. I would be more comfortable with her quitting and starting high school fresh, finding some new friends, and seeing what else interests her. Again, she makes her own decisions about her ECs. If we ever think either of our kids are over-booked, we will be sure to step in.
Our son, who played tennis competitively until eighth grade, woke up one day and wanted to play soccer instead. Fine with us. These are all of their choices and they are very independent.
Mother of a ballet dancer here. Homework from 4-5, dance from 5-9, home for more homework, rinse and repeat.
This will get harder to sustain as her academic schedule gets more demanding. My advice is to check in periodically and see if it’s still worth it to her. As junior year is so demanding, we advised our daughter to reduce her level of commitment for this year and she agreed. It was a smart decision.
As for her college apps, I wouldn’t worry about it. I have spoken to a number of admissions officers and they “get” the level of commitment that ballet requires.
@annana Thanks so much for your response. Right now, she’s thinking of sticking with all honors. If she sticks with ballet, we will be very careful with her course-load as time goes on for sure.
When my ballerina D17 was going into high school, I wondered about the exact question you are asking, OP. My D also knew she does not want to dance professionally but dance will always be an important part of her life.
At 9th grade, D decided she will continue dancing in her pre-professional ballet company. At 10th grade, she (and I) feared that she would not be able to keep up her high level course work and perfect grades with the 25-30 hours per week ballet demand. In addition, her rehearsal schedule was preventing her from being involved in her school or serve her community. So she made a very difficult choice to quit company at 10th grade.
D still takes ballet lessons 3x a week. But in the past two years not being a company dancer, she has developed other EC resulted in international award. She has made contributions to her school and community and at the same time developed leadership skills. All of which, D would not have been able to accomplish had she continue to dance for the company.
I have no idea whether college admission would view my daughter’s path more or less favorable than if she had devoted mostly of her time in ballet. We do think that she has benefited more by choosing to reduce her ballet EC.
I have watched several company dancers in her studio who are one, two, or three years ahead of D and decided to go to college and not dance professionally. They mostly do not get admitted to their reach schools. My guess is that their grades suffered to a certain degree due to ballet. And most of them have very few other EC’s. Yes, I hear all the time that colleges prefer one strong EC and not jack-of-all-trades. But I just wonder if Admission people give ballerinas the same credence as other sports/EC’s.
My daughter still loves ballet and plans to continue dancing in college but just not as a major.
My suggestion to you is to continue to observe your daughter in the next year or two. When school work gets heavy, you will know how much she is willing to sacrifice for ballet.
Another mother of a ballerina here - since kindergarten she has studied under a highly regarded teacher who somehow found herself living in a small town. She is in the highest level at the studio and has had roles with professional companies in our part of the state. And doesn’t want to study ballet in college (she will be a junior next year, honors/AP kid).
We did a couple things that may or may not help the college admissions process. We made a list of every performance and role she’s had by year. Once we had it on paper, it was pretty darn impressive for someone not near a major city. I think that will help her talk about how ballet made her more focused, the lessons she learned, and how to apply that to anything in life. Ballet teaches a lot of life skills, and hopefully she can make that come through during the process.
Also, my daughter teaches two lower level classes at the studio - for pay. The teacher trusts her enough and, again, it is something she loves that hopefully will love her back when it comes to colleges.
I have been upfront with the teacher that school comes first, and she agrees. My daughter has missed a lot of classes this year due to the school workload, the first year that’s happened. It’s life. But she’s been able to do other activities, mostly on the weekends. There are times I honestly wished she wasn’t in ballet - oh my, it’s a commitment for both the students and the parents here! - but she loves it and it shows on stage. She won’t make a living from it, but it’s definitely a passion and has taught her things that go well beyond ballet itself.
In terms of managing stress … let her miss a class here or there. I don’t know how strict your studio is on that kind of thing. In our house, we do not sacrifice for ballet at this stage of the game.
I can speak to this. Our D is a senior and will be going to college next year. She has danced since she was 4 and has danced in a pre professional dance company since her freshman year of HS. I understand your D’s schedule. Our D has class 4 days a week and rehearsals 4 days a week totaling 10-12 hours per week all after school. She is also a scholar. She will have taken 10 AP courses when all is said and done and will graduate with a W GPA over 4.5 and got a 33 on her ACT. The discipline of dance definitely was in play here. Like your D her intent is not to be a dancer after college. Her goal is to be a Physical Therapist.
Some things we experienced. She still had time to do other things she enjoys. She likes being outdoors. She volunteered at a local arboretum both at their butterfly house and helping them garden. She would volunteer at church helping with the pre school and kindergarten children. She would volunteer when she could as an usher for HS plays which had the added benefit of allowing her to see the plays for free. She didn’t do any of this to put on a college resume but she did them and so she could.
Forward to the college decision. Based on the courses she most enjoyed in HS and going to College and Career Fairs she narrowed her selection to Health Sciences. Being a dancer she already had a fascination with how the body works and moves. She also knew she wanted an opportunity to continue to perform as a dancer. Luckily there are many schools with dance minors, dance companies or even opportunities to double major. It’s too early to worry about schools just yet but rest assured ther will be many different choices for your D when she does start the college search process. Our D will be attending college as a Dance major (BA) double majoring in Exercise Physiology. She’ll have around 30-36 hours in AP credits and even better was given a $2500 talent scholarship for dance by the school. Enjoy the coming HS years and your D’s dance. As she gets towards her sophomore or junior year check back to get information concerning options for schools as she narrows down her future plans.
If she is not on the road to a ballet company I would make her back off at least freshman year. She should join clubs and try some new interests. Aside from ECs being a way to get into college they are a way to explore and learn how to explore as a teenager.
@whatthewhat I agree. She wants to try out for poms which would be a minimal commitment just for football season. Practice a few mornings before school and games on Friday nights. We would let her skip ballet that night. It’s a short season. Good way to meet new friends at a big high school freshman year. There are a few other low-commitment things she wants to look at as well.
@homerdog I would actually go one step further and ask her to do something not dance related like photography or work in a lab. Remind her that the world is full of options.
OP I have a family member like your daughter: a passionate, serious, committed classical dancer. One EC. She got into UCSB with just that one EC. Fast forward a few years, and she’s in a top med school. Still dancing… as an amateur… in her other life she’s a surgeon-in-training.
In other words: many if not most admission committees understand what being a serious dancer entails. And they admire it.
We’ve always allowed our kids to consider their options. Both Ds were pretty much involved with 1 EC. With our older one it was an instrument, with the younger obviously dance. We discussed their HS schedules, their EC commitments and various opportunity costs. They chose but always had options. They could drop down a level in the courses they took, they could drop or cut back on their ECs, they could involve themselves in less time intensive ECs. Older D at one time was in 3 orchestras and played in the Pit orchestra at both the HS and of a local theater group. She graduated 12/734 in her class. She is now a Chem E major at Purdue and plays in their orchestra.
Our dancer was given options too. As decisions arose whether or not to join the company we discussed other options with her. She was a pretty good actress and could have been involves with theater at her HS. Her HS had it’s own dance company which would have required far less time after class. (One year she was in her dance studios training company and the HS company, the studio said next year it would not allow the scheduling conflicts). She made the decisions along the way with the understanding that if things became too difficult she had options. In our case neither girl had to give up what they loved and we’re still able to be successful. Our younger D was 30/682 in her class. We know other dance students who have dropped out of company or backed down on the level of classes they were taking. I do believe that a disciplined dance student has great tools to be successful in all they do, however, every child is different.