<p>We are scheduling a visit across the country to NYC next month to visit conservatories/colleges for vocal performance. Of course my D is BUSY with academics, rehearsals for musical and choirs, private voice, preparations for NATS and Classical Singer....many of you have been through this. It is time to contact prospective teachers to request sample lessons. Is it acceptable for me to do this on my D's behalf? I have lots more time than she does. Especially if phone contact is essential, with the time difference (we are west coast) I don't see how my D could do this. Will the colleges/teachers be more favorable if my D does it? Will they ignore me if I make the contact? How have you folks handled this? We plan to see 4 NY area schools in 4 days. Honestly, I don't see how my D would have the time to track down all these teachers and admissions officers. I look forward to advice from the experienced parents on this board. Thanks!</p>
<p>More favorable if your D does it. Why not help her compose her emails and organize her contacts? It will also help your daughter when she goes face to face with the teacher. She will be in the loop.</p>
<p>I agree. If possible, she should do it. Most can be arranged by email so the time difference won’t matter. She can have one email that she changes a bit for each circumstance. Most of the details for the visit can be handled by email too - some schools have specific details on the website about arranging a visit. I did check my D’s email now and then during the day when she was in school just in case there was something that involved my making plans for a trip. She had an email address that she used for auditions/visits/lessons only.</p>
<p>I have to admit, I don’t know what a parent could do in that kind of case, other then get the idea of the teacher’s personality (which may or may not gybe with the student’s impression). Music teaching from the bit I have seen is so individual; a teacher who works great with one student blows apart with another, so much has to match, and the biggest one I feel is trust, if a student feels their teacher is not working in their best interest, they aren’t going to feel comfortable enough to really learn IMO. Plus, based on my perceptions of music teachers,I wonder how they would feel about a student asking for a sample lesson, and then in effect getting blown off (not saying that is the intention, just how it could come off). I understand about conflicts only too well, but if you are looking for someone who is going to shape the next x years, shouldn’t that be at the top of the list?That is how I see it, anyhow, YMMV.</p>
<p>When we were going through this, I had my son make the initial contacts by email. As strange as it may sound, he was not always successful at contacting people that way. I also had him contact teachers and leave voice mails. If the teacher called back and left a message, I was usually the one to make the call because calls needed to be made during the school day when son was not able to call. (This was a number of years ago and son did not have a cell phone.) Also, when it came to doing the logistics, it was easier for me to arrange the details as I knew what our schedule was and when we could get to campus for the lesson. I don’t think it is a bad thing if you end up doing some of this. I would, however, encourage your daughter to make the initial contact either through email or by leaving a phone message.</p>
<p>musicprnt, I’m not sure understand your post, and I think it’s important. My question was, basically, is it best for my D to make all contacts with prospective teachers, or, is it acceptable for a parent to make initial contact on D’s behalf? Obviously, D will be the one meeting with the teacher, taking the lessons, observing a class, asking the questions, getting the feel, making the assessment as to whether or not a given teacher might be a fit. Of course, we would also be looking to find out whether D’s skill set might be competitive for audition into a particular program. Did you think I meant to meet with teachers instead of my D?? Yikes, they sure don’t want to hear me sing–D gets her talent from her dad’s side… ;)</p>
<p>cartera45–brilliant! A separate email address for teacher contacts/applications etc. So D won’t mind if I access her email when she’s off at rehearsal. nothing better than the voices of experience…</p>
<p>Agree with those above who have said a bit of parental involvement is OK, but that the student should certainly make initial contacts and as much of the followups as possible. We did find that, believe it or not, there is the occasional prof. who doesn’t use email much or doesn’t keep up well, which can be frustrating for the high school junior/senior who is never home before 5 or 6 pm (and we never even dealt with time changes!). I didn’t ever speak to anyone about arranging a lesson, but did have to make some calls about visiting, tours, paperwork and the more “mundane” details. I always prefaced by saying “I know my D should be making this call, but they can’t use cell phones at school and she won’t be home until after you have left”. I never had the impression that anyone minded talking to a parent (except at one school, and this impression has been confirmed by comments others have made here).</p>
<p>I’ll admit to suggesting teachers for my kid to contact, but she actually did the emailing.</p>
<p>Sopranomom - My D went thru the websites and picked out the teachers she wanted to meet and have lessons with. I did all of the arranging on her behalf. She’s hardly ever home with all her lessons, tutoring and shows. She went to the lessons and handled that on her own and brought me in after it was over to meet the teacher. Some of these teachers are hard to get in contact with and it takes a lot of extra effort to get things scheduled, and even then we find teachers who doublebooked themselves. I didn’t get the impression that any of these teachers were offended that I did the emailing.</p>
<p>I wrote the emails and my son sent them. We were able to manage it all through email. I made a lot of phone calls to the admissions offices, etc. for the same reasons as others. But I think the contact with the teacher should be strictly between teacher and student, if at all possible. After so many years of sitting in on and/or tracking their lessons and planning with their teachers, etc., it’s hard to imagine before you send them off that you will hardly know this person who will be shaping their musical career in so many ways, but that is the truth. I met my son’s teacher last year when my son took that trial lesson and have had no contact with him since. This is a big breakout for our kids and they need to make it themselves.</p>
<p>I don’t have a problem with parents handling some of these things and I don’t think the teachers really care who makes the contact. My reasoning is that it is great experience for the kids to make the calls, handle the scheduling, etc. It is often easier for us to do it, but best for them to do it.</p>
<p>Definitely have her email the professors. A step-by-step look through my personal process, done in the last year and half (many emails and college visits later!):</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Make sure you have a respectable, professional email address.</p></li>
<li><p>Compose a “form letter”. In it, include the obvious, like your name, grade, and teacher, and a short biography. Include your All-State selections, school ensembles, regular performing groups, chamber music experience, honors and awards, etc. Another thing that I added to the previous information was a little blurb about how much affected me personally. In a few lines, I tried to put into the words the impact that music has had on my life, and where I want it to take me in the future. I think that this really helped distinguish me from other high schoolers filling the professors’ inboxes. </p></li>
<li><p>In your writing, be polite and honest. Be straightforward, but use the best style and diction possible. Almost every single professor that I emailed commented on my writing style. If they compliment you on your writing, they are all the more apt to want to meet you. Therefore, be thorough with revising your email. It is the professor’s very first impression of you! Have your parents and private teacher read through it and make suggestions.</p></li>
<li><p>After you have sent the email and received one back, be as prompt with your reply as possible. Keep yourself fresh in the professor’s mind.</p></li>
<li><p>Finally, after you have received the lesson, send them another email thanking them for their time and generosity. Let them know how much you enjoyed the lesson, the program, the school; even if it wasn’t your favorite, still use complimentary language and tone. It’s essential to keep all doors open when possible, even if you are sure that you do not wish to audition at the school.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Hope this helps! Let me know if you have questions!</p>
<p>Fantastic! I have just forwarded the contents of your post to my D’s email. This is very helpful. Thanks!!!</p>
<p>Soprano-</p>
<p>Just give me a lead star, I kind of thought you were asking if your daughter is busy, if you should meet with the professor and see what he is like…my answer is in that context, and yeah, it would be kinda weird to do that, I think I have congenital brain failure these days;).</p>
<p>My take would be that it is not a bad thing to try and help your daughter keep track of what she is doing, to help with legwork is she is bogged down (like calling to ask when the deadline is, what does someone need to do to apply, etc), but that the actual contact, as others have said, be hers. One of the reasons I feel this is that this really is the start of her career as a ‘real musician’, and this is something that from what i can tell is the meat and potatoes of being in the musical world…contacting people, getting through sometimes less then helpful people, contacting people and so forth. Might be great to start mastering those skills now:)</p>
<p>I had my son write all the initial letters, although I stood over his shoulder making comments or suggestions.
I really think the emails and phone contact should come from the kids themselves, but they do need a little help sometimes!</p>
<p>I concur with the general sentiment expressed by the other parents. I coached my son and reviewed the emails. We also talked about which faculty to approach – one thing we decided was that he should always attempt to get a meeting with the head of the department. For the meetings he did before applications, in the junior year and summer, the goals were twofold: (1) find out whether he was competitive for the school and (2) see if the school would meet his needs and interests. For the Trial Lessons after acceptance, his goal was to figure out if he would like to have the individual as his teacher.</p>
<p>While I provided escort service and moral support, I never went to any of these meetings with him, except for the very first exploratory one we had, which was really not a trial lesson in any way – more an observation and chat with the department chair. DS believes that the only way to understand the chemistry is if I am not around, and I am sure that is true!!! This is the point where we parents really do need to start letting go. Coaching, logistical and financial support is what they need at this point.</p>