My D is a HS freshman, been taking dance for 11 years, voice for 7 years, acting off and on, mostly camps. She has no problem performing with confidence, but when it is an audition, for only the singing part, she gets super anxious to the point she can’t sing, she can’t get anything like the volume she normally has. In choir/ensembles she sings alto mostly, but also soprano and occasionally even tenor. She just auditioned for her HS musical and texted me that she just bombed it again. She practiced a ton, practiced in front of various people, never touches caffeine, reminded herself the auditors are on her side, and tried to avoid “what if I bomb?” thoughts and focused on being positive. She started having this problem in 6th grade when she was having all kinds of dental work done, plus the usual angst of puberty changes in controlling her voice. I am at a loss for how to help her overcome this problem. MT is her passion. Anyone else get a kid past this kind of problem? Obviously, she has to be able to audition if she plans to continue on to college and a professional career.
@AZperformom - it’s fine and totally normal! My D had the same issue at that age - great performer, lousy auditioner. The solution is to take away the pressure by letting her practice, practice, practice. Have her do summer audition workshops. Have her audition for summer shows she doesn’t want to do. Let her practice auditioning when the stakes are low. It’s all about practicing so auditions lose their terror and when it matters she’ll be ready. And also don’t try and rush the process - she has a couple of years still to go. Auditioning is a skill and like any other skill, it gets easier the more you do it. She will grow out of it if both of you stay calm and realize how normal this phase is.
By the way - my D would take a cup of coffee to auditions. 
She uses caffeine to calm her nerves and help her focus.
Thank you, CaMom13. The thing is, she went in feeling totally prepared, totally expecting this time would be better? She was giving her friends pep talks. She was professional and confident talking to the pianist, confident with her slate, then started to sing and it was as if somebody cut off her air. At least this time she didn’t start crying, she finished the song, thanked the auditors and left. Dance call went great, clearly the strongest dancer. I told her to focus on what went right this time, that as a freshman she went in expecting to not get cast at all anyway, this was supposed to be just a practice audition.Of course, she feels frustrated she can’t even give herself the chance. My concern is she may be reinforcing the response, rather than overcoming it. Funny, her voice instructor suggested Green Tea, but D can’t do caffeine, she gets reflux. Oh, well. At least she can move on to her performance this weekend when she has a solo, which she always does well. And she is doing two intensives this summer that include audition prep.
Agree with the practice. Have her practice auditioning for teachers. Have her perform her audition for retirement centers or anywhere she can. And yes, have her go do auditions for things she isn’t interested in.
Ahh this thread is so close to my heart! That was ME in 9th and 10th grade, and I loved singing so much that I wanted to be SO good, but that become self-defeating b/c I would freak any time I heard my voice shake, etc. It devastated me, so I quit singing for the rest of high school. It wasn’t until I sang in college in a recreational, excellent but low-key group that I started to regain confidence. Now, all of these years later, I have worked in MT professionally, got my speech pathology MS to help injured singers, and coach singers - and what I now know I was missing in high school was a strong enough technique to allow me to build muscle memory so no matter how bad my nerves got, I had physical strategies to focus on when my adrenalin made me shake like crazy and not be able to manage my breath. There’s a lot more to be said on this topic, but an TRULY excellent vocal technician with extensive training (ideally an advanced degree) in MT vocal pedagogy will be able to help a LOT! Not to say that your daughter’s teacher isn’t excellent, but you D may truly not know the importance of the technical bedrock she needs. I know I didn’t know that AT ALL at that age. I always tell my students, “I thought singing was magic, and I just didn’t have it - and it’s NOT magic. You have to LEARN.” Feel free to PM me - I’d be glad to talk to you about this because it is my most singular passion in teaching!
Thank you, @CoachC, D did get a callback for ensemble, which is dance focused for “Hello Dolly” so she is feeling a lot better about the whole experience. Talking to her about how it felt when she started singing, she said as soon as she felt her throat go tight, she took in a big breath and switched to a more talking style of singing, hoping it would snap her out of it. Didn’t work, but got her through the audition. I have looked online for a therapist who focuses on audition/performance anxiety, but found nothing locally. I will ask her voice teacher for any recommendations. We have a major university locally with a strong performing arts school, so I will also see if they have recommendations for speech pathologists who work with singers. I will PM you when I get enough posts to be allowed to PM. Thank you again.
Another tip that might help is to have your daughter practice her auditions mentally. In other words, she can visualize all aspects of her audition from her perspective: walking in, greeting the panel, speaking with the accompanist, singing, leaving the room. All of it.
The musical theatre and acting world seems to be catching on to visualizing, so there’s some information out there about it if you Google it, but there’s a TON of information regarding visualizing and mental rehearsal in the athletic world.
Visualizing can be a game-changer; your mind doesn’t know the difference between what is imagined and what is real, and, after positive repeated visualizations, when the real audition comes along, the confidence is there. (In addition to actual practice, and a good teacher and technique as CoachC mentioned above).
There are also guided meditations for actors and singers - or just for stress-release in general - that you can find online.
Best wishes to your daughter!
@zebracocoa, Thank you. Actually she has been working on visualizing for a few weeks now, tried it for this audition, but clearly has more work to do. She did get cast into the featured dancer part she wanted, so at least there was a good outcome in spite of the singing fail.
@CoachC – any easy helpful starter hints? I’m not young nor looking to do MT as OP’s D but man–I freeze up and totally relate to this situation. I can perform in front of groups of people I don’t know but when it comes to audition (even on a tape!) when I feel like it’s “graded”–I just choke up. Practice isn’t the key–I know the music and I’m not afraid to sing in front of people–it’s something else I’m missing but I’m not sure what.
Something that totally changed my world (and helped so much with my nerves) was when I fully realized: I don’t sing for anyone else but me. I sing because it makes me happy and I love to do it, not to gain approval from others or impress people. Once that clicked for me (and it did take some time), I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. So when you’re in an audition room or a performance or whatever, take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you have nothing to prove, only to share.
@AZperformom My daughter takes vocal lessons from a wonderful local teacher. Her name is Sharon Stohrer. She teaches vocal majors at a local conservatory. My daughter does not really have issues with performance anxiety. However, Sharon has a book published about performance anxiety and she is a performance anxiety coach. I am sure you can find her with a google search. She is a great vocal teacher and very knowledgeable. I bet she and/or her book might be able to help your daughter. She is a very kind person too!
@AZperformom Knew of her from NATS. I will check out her book, and what a timely topic for many kids Her website notes challenges faced regularly by MT performers. Thanks!
You might try a hypnotherapist. For quite a few years, my daughter would have a total meltdown at the mention of getting a blood draw. When she was 15, I knew we needed to do something about it and found a great hypnotherapist who did one session of Time Line Therapy. The next day, D was able to get a blood draw with no tears and without me in the room and has had several since then without any anxiety or fear. The therapist uncovered an “unreasonable fear” that stemmed from an experience in the ER when she was 5, and it had just kept getting worse in her subconscious. Since you mentioned dental work in sixth grade, perhaps there’s a subconscious fear that can be uncovered and dispelled. The feeling of “cutting off her air” sounds a little like those rubber dams and other equipment that dentists use!