My D was wait-listed at almost every school, which was a shock to her college counselor at school, including her dream school, a certain Ivy. She is second in her class and a quadruple legacy. The Ivy’s rep has been very encouraging about the waitlist, but of course no promises. So Yesterday she received a call from Middlebury - February Admission the coming year! She wants to accept!
However, her counselor called and said if the Ivy came through she would have to decline and can’t support her reneging at Midd. We are worried he will “take her name of the wait list” at the Ivy as he has been in close contact with the rep. However, we don’t want her to give up her opportunity at Midd, where she’d be much happier than the school she is currently deposited at.
Is this fair? Can’t we accept one waitlist and then decline if an offer that is better comes through? This isn’t Early Decision!
If you found a diamond engagement ring on the street, are you under any obligation to try to find its owner? No. Is it the ethical thing to do? Yes. By accepting Middlebury’s offer, she’s taking a spot from someone else on the waiting list. If she accepts the offer and Midd fills its class, they will notify all other waitlisted applicants that the class is full.
Her counselor probably has spent years developing relationships with reps at Midd. If you daughter accepts then renegs, it makes him look bad and may have a negative impact on future applicants to Midd from her high school.
@abcdooo, There’s absolutely nothing wrong with paying for a spot at Midd then canceling if she’s accepted to a different school. That’s how the waitlist works. You cancel your reservation & lose your deposit. What you can’t do is put 2 deposits in after May 1. I’d deposit at Midd but not let the GC know. It’s not his/her business. Then, if your DD gets off a waitlist, accept the spot and notify Midd.
^^^Why do you think the GC will take her name off of the wait list at the Ivy? A GC can’t remove someone from the wait list at a school–only a student can do that. He can, however, notify the Ivy that she has accepted a spot at Midd if they ask. Many GCs are in close contact with admissions reps. I’ve heard of several instances where an admissions rep will contact a GC to ask if a student is serious about a school before offering a spot from the WL. Is that what you’re afraid of? I’m not sure that withholding info from the admissions rep will help. It’s likely that he’ll find out that she accepted Midd’s offer regardless of whether you tell him or not.
While it is a bit unusual, I don’t see it as a huge problem.
You’re merely swapping out her current school for Middlebury, which you and your daughter feel is a better fit.
Congrats on the Midd offer! I would say take it if it’s the better choice.
If the Ivy comes through, they don’t care where her current commitment is,
they are only interested in if she’ll take their spot or not.
Since there’s no ethical restriction to accepting a spot on more than one wait list, I don’t
see this as any more problematic than potentially losing two deposits, rather than one.
If the GC perceives this as an issue, then he should institute a new rule that prohibits a student
from accepting wait list positions at more than one school. Surely her GC is familiar with the “summer melt” phenomenon, because we know that the AdComs at the colleges/universities surely do.
Why should the GC institute a rule to prevent families from doing something they have every right to do? It’s not unethical. The GC has no right to create a regulation like that.
To clarify my first post, I wasn’t referring to whether or not it’s ethical to be on more than one wait list. Clearly one can be on as many wait lists as they’d like. I want to know why the OP thinks the GC has an issue with this. There might be an ethical issue we don’t know about. Like the GC went to bat for her daughter, saying that Midd was her first-choice school and she would def. attend if admitted. That might explain why the GC wouldn’t feel comfortable if she stayed on other wait lists after accepting Midd’s offer. I’d like some clarification on this.
@arcadia She’s actually on seven wait list. GC went to bat for two - the Ivy and another top tier CC. Not Midd. Midd called out of the blue and we are thrilled. He’s worried it will affect his relations with the school if she renegs on her acceptance. We would understand is he had campaigned for her, but he never spoke to admissions on her behalf.
I don’t see why accepting Midd and flipping to another school if she gets in off the waitlist would be an issue, especially if the GC did not go to bat for her at Midd… As long as you don’t deposit at more than one school at a time it should be fine.
Summer melt occurs when colleges start accepting kids off their waitlists–this has a trickle down affect. Student deposits at college A, but recinds after getting accepted off of college B’s waitlist. College A then has to fill a spot, so they accept a student from their waitlist, forcing another college to use their waitlist, and so on. As this happens, the number of matriculated students melts away over the course of the summer. Students also decide to defer matriculation for various reasons.
I would encourage you to accept at Middlebury (a terrific school – we recently visited) and worry about the other situation only if it develops. There’s a reasonably good chance it won’t. And tell the GC to butt out.
The first thing I would do is call the principal and have a meeting. I would also make sure that if you have a younger child at the same school, I would request a different GC if there is another one. The GC cannot dictate your daughters future but if you do have another child at the school, I would be nervous about the consequences for that child. The principal should be involved.
It is none of the business of the GC or the admissions representative to know your daughter’s business. You are under no obligation to tell them where you deposit or accept a waitlist spot. By all means, accept at Middlebury! If you have to renege, then you have to; but otherwise, don’t agonize over it. The GC has no authority to take your daughter off the waitlist or “compromise her position on the waitlist” through any off-cuff communications with an admissions rep.
@BellaVenezia I think if OP had wanted to give the name she would have. My guess would be a non HYP just because HYPs rarely go to the WL.
As they say, a bird in the hand or at least a Mid in the hand.
@educateddarcy gave excellent advice. Of course keep in mind your younger childen, especially if this is a small private school. I would be very curious to know what type of school this is. Keep in mind you still have no control over what the GC will say privately to the Ivy. So maybe saying nothing and doing what you think is best might be better. I cannot say since I do not know your school and how autonomous the GCs are.
It almost makes no sense since when the school (if it is private) lists its admissions it can now say Mid and if you get in, Ivy X. That is better than just Mid even if she decides to stay with Mid for her own reasons not the GC. He should instead be working on getting her in for Mid in September not scaring you. I feel like people on the WL are so tortured by this never ending process why make it more stressful. Also, while I understand that this is a good offer, if you accept the Ivy later, he can always say to Mid, she would have come if you had offered September. So he has an out that will not hurt his relationship (which he did not use anyway).
I am on just as many waitlists, have already gotten off of one and my GC is still talking to other schools on my behalf. She has been a rock. She assures me that since this is the WL the school’s yield is no longer at stake and people understand about WL.
Also how is this different than if she had been accepted at Mid for RD and then got off a WL and turned Mid down?
It really makes no sense since he did not advocate for you.
My advice is to seek clarity from the guidance counselor. It is common knowledge that it is generally acceptable to decline after paying a deposit if a students gets an offer from a school she/he is wait listed on. After May 1st it is the wild west out there! So it is acceptable for her to decline her currently held spot and accept Midd for 2nd semester. If she gets an offer from Ivy, she can decline Midd and accept Ivy. It is possible that if she calls to decline, Midd might all of a sudden have a Sept slot for her. Who knows. The story would be different if you had asked the GC to tell Midd it was her first choice and she’d attend if she got any offer. If not, then there does not seem to be an issue. Sounds like some miscommunication or a brand new Guidance Counselor. In these cases, it is best to clarify not run. Even if your other daughter gets a different guidance counselor, it is the school that the GC is trying to protect-and that includes both your children. Schools that make sure that their students are following the rules will have better success when their GC’s make those special calls than will schools where students often stiff schools after promising to accept offers. So for everyones sake it is best to deal up front with the miscommunication. There is nothing in any rule book that precludes accepting an offer from Ivy when and if a student gets off the waiting list. Don’t forget, Midd also has a list and is hoping that students are willing to forego their deposit at Tufts (only kidding…anywhere) to accept their offer.
Accept Mid, but don’t tell the GC, or anyone at school until the situation clarifies. There are no ethics involved here. It is just the way the game is played, and you didn’t make the rules. As the Ivies publish their yields (Penn is already out) you can usually tell whether they will be taking many from the WL.