<p>This may be true, but if you are an outstanding applicant (scores, ECs and recs within the high range for the schools) don’t neglect other schools of the same calibur and think that since you didn’t get into school A, school B, which is equally difficult, will reject you, too. There are many reasons why one school may not see you as a good fit which may have little to do with qualifications.</p>
<p>My oldest D was deferred from Brown (many years ago now), and ultimately waitlisted. After her deferral, she looked more seriously at her other schools, and found a few that she would really enjoy attending–Williams, Amherst, Grinnell, etc. She loved Yale during her visit, but was reluctant to apply because she felt that if Brown deferred her, Yale probably would be even tougher regular decision. I encouraged her to finish the application anyway, and it was the last one she dropped in the mail. Well, the obvious point I’m coming to is that my D found out she was accepted online and screamed in disbelief, and almost forgot to check to see if she got into Brown. </p>
<p>She graduated summa cum laude from Yale and has no clue why Brown was a no-go. (She was also accepted to all of her other schools, three with early admission.) Colleges have their own agendas. What made it possible for my D to keep her positive attitude after her deferral was applying only schools that she really liked- therefore, even if she only got into one, she knew she could be happy.</p>
<p>Interesting story…
My son’s deferral school is also Brown.
It is nice to know that your daughter had a happy ending - I wish the same thing for my son, regardless of where he ends up. :)</p>
<p>terrygreg, I think your S has to move on emotionally from his attachment to ED school. He should not be updating the ED school now, but working on the other apps and trying to get excited about the other schools. There will be plenty of time to update in mid-winter. I also think the title of your thread is telling. Waitlist implies a student has been deemed worthy of admission, but no room at the inn. Deferred means that the school is unsure if student is qualified for admission this year. I am not trying to be harsh, but there is an important difference.</p>
If only that were true. Some schools use waitlists strategically, for example for a legacies that really didn’t make the cut, but they want to soften the blow.</p>
<p>I don’t think this is exactly right. Colleges use both strategically, but “waitlist” doesn’t mean they will take you if there is room, necessarily, as mathmom mentioned. Nor does “deferral” mean they’re aren’t sure you are qualified. Deferral just means that they don’t want to take you now-for whatever reason. You could be more “qualified” by all objective measures than half of the students they take. But they are reserving their admissions decision to see who else comes along next round. Schools make subjective decisions based on the class they are trying to build- especially those at the level of Brown. That’s why you shouldn’t read too much into it- just move on and make sure that there are several other schools on your list, including a safety or two, that you’d be happy to attend.</p>
<p>My son was deferred ED from his first choice, “dream” school (U Chicago). Then, in the regular admissions pool, he was waitlisted.</p>
<p>We quickly moved on to the other schools and acceptances with scholarships. Now, almost 4 years later, in this economy looking at three kids in college next year, I shudder to think what our financial situation would have been had he been admitted. Because for THAT school, we (in our ignorance) would have sent him, and then what would we have said to our other two kids? We are in the same boat that many here are - middle income, huge EFC that doesn’t in any way reflect what we can actually contribute.</p>
<p>Anyway, U Chicago would have been a wonderful place for my son. But in hindsight, I’m glad we didn’t have to figure out how to pay for it.</p>
<p>I was deferred from my ED school and I remember telling my parents that I would look at other schools even if I got into the first choice school. I ultimately chose a different school and I couldn’t imagine myself being as happy at my ED school. Make sure your D or S has an open mind and they will hopefully end up at the perfect place for them.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the great advice. My son notified the school that it was still his first choice and his guidance counselor is sending out an updated rec letter with recent accomplishments and that’s it! He did his other college apps in case he was rejected (they need tweaking) he’s sending them out ASAP and we are going to look forward to the future. wherever that may be. If he gets accepted at his ED school in the next round - great, but he (okay me) is not going to hold his breath. There are some terrific schools on his list, some even closer to home so as long as he ends up happy, it’s all good.</p>
<p>My son had Yale as his first choice for quite some time and therefore applied SCEA - and was deferred. He also really liked some other very selective schools. Even though his confidence was shaken, he applied anyway to Brown (another top choice), Duke and some others he later eliminated from his list. Because of the Yale deferral, he had time to consider applying to 8 yr combined med programs. At the very last moment, he reluctantly applied to Brown’s program (PLME) thinking he had little chance of acceptance (about 4% acceptance rate). Sure enough, come April, he was accepted to Brown PLME, Duke and Yale. But by then, he had “rethought” things and immediately decided to attend Brown as a PLME. He still liked Yale, but that good feeling didn’t seem there any longer… I noticed he checked Brown’s website BEFORE checking Yale’s. </p>
<p>Much can change in a few months for an 18 year old. A deferral allows further growth and reevaluation. You may see your schools in a new light… Don’t stress. Engage in the process and don’t sell yourself short. Apply wherever you want.</p>
<p>Agree with Jerzgrlmom. Apply wherever you want. Make sure you have an Admissions and Financial safety (ies). Find something to delve into during the long winter wait to keep you happy and occupied (sports, music, community/school service, whatever). And KEEP UP YOUR GRADES!! The last thing you want is to have a mediocre record in April when it could come into play in a waitlist situation!!</p>
<p>It hurt me terribly that my second son did not end up at NYU which was always his first choice school. To spend what we did on private high school, and then have him go to a SUNY was not what we wanted. He was the only one to ever go this particular SUNY from his high school, at least on record, and the only one to go to a SUNY his year. It was his decision, and he had other options. </p>
<p>However, we would be in so much more trouble right now if he had gone to a private college. First of all, he did not do so well. In many schools, he would have been out on his ear. Probably should be out anyways. He may not graduate in 4 years. An extra term at a private college would not be possible. He can squeak by paying his way here if he so chooses. He also got the training he needed from his school which he would have had to have sought privately at his other choices and probably not gotten the thorough grounding in dance that he has painfully gotten. It was what he thought he wanted, but he would not have had the fortitude to have pursued this painful path on his own. His school forced him to do so, if he wanted to stay in the program, leaving him with little choice. He is a distance from home which is what we needed for family relationships. So something that was not so positive 4 years ago, turned out for the best for us so far. I never thought I would be thinking this way, I guarantee you. </p>
<p>Still when I had a senior, I envied those who were done after ED. And waitlist is at best purgatory. We all want our kids to have what they want, and it hurts when they can’t get it. Especially since most of these kids have worked so danged hard and deserve their rewards. I feel for all of you parents and your kids this holiday season. I’ve been there.</p>
<p>I second the advice about keeping your grades up. My son had 6 APs senior year and had to send mid-yr grades to all his colleges. Grades may not have been as important if he had been accepted EA, but I’m sure they were considered for RD so it’s a good thing he didn’t slack off. He also sent an update to his EA school where he was deferred with an additional rec (college prof).</p>