<p>...S is deferred to RD at his first choice school while other friends have been accepted. DH and I feel so heartbroken for him. It's going to be a long winter until he hears from the schools now. It would've been nice to get it over with...
OTOH, I'm impressed with the way he's handling it. He doesn't really want to talk about it but has continued to fill out apps for other schools and is staying active in ECs. I just have to believe that something bigger and better awaits him...
Thanks for letting me vent.</p>
<p>lilmom, I’m sorry for this initial disappointment. Please let us all know in the end (like in May) where he is happily enrolling. There will be a bright spot in the future. Right now, it may not seem so, but there will be!!</p>
<p>So sorry for your S and for you–I know how this feels as my D was deferred also at her EA school years ago. It will work out and you and your S need to remember that he “will go to college” no matter what happens with RD. Best of luck and good for him handling it so well.</p>
<p>I know how you feel, my son did not get in his first choice. We just feel bad. However, most students end up being so happy at the school they end up at, that they can’t picture them selves where else… I know that they don’t want to hear this, but, sometimes things do happen for a reason. His first choice was not our first choice. He was admitted in to Purdue University, which where we were hoping he could go. He was denied from UIUC. He was dissapointed at first, but seems to be happy he was admitted there. It hard being a parent. But, I feel blessed that he will go to any university
and I think he feels that way to. I wish the best for your child.</p>
<p>so sorry…</p>
<p>~ Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it. ~</p>
<p>I know the feeling - D was deferred on her EA application two years ago to a school that she chose because she felt pretty certain she’d have a good chance to nail down a sure thing prior to the RD period. She ultimately got into her first choice, which is a more selective school than her EA choice. It’s very frustrating, especially when you’re the parent of a kid who hasn’t known many setbacks in his or her young life, but it usually works out well.</p>
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<p>Wow - that’s an excellent quote for this weekend!</p>
<p>I know how the OP feels. DS was outright rejected from CalTech, one of the two EA’s he had applied for, and which I thought he had a fair chance to at least get deferred at. It was the first response he’s gotten, and now I’m second-guessing our list of colleges. </p>
<p>DS has great test scores and good grades in a lot of AP courses, but he doesn’t have a huge list of awards and honors like a lot of the other kids who applied, or research projects.</p>
<p>I think I feel worse about it than he does, though. I feel bad that I got his hopes up by telling him I thought he had a solid application. If he gets rejected outright from MIT EA he will be really bummed, I think.</p>
<p>I know it sucks. My S2 was deferred from his first choice last December, while most of his friends were accepted to theirs. It was awful, and we were heartbroken for him. Like the OP, our son handled it so well. Here’s the good news: He was accepted nearly everywhere else he applied, including some MEGA reach schools, waitlisted at the original ED school, (then admitted there after he won a prestigious award–his rejection of his waitlist spot and their admission offer crossed in the mail); TURNED DOWN the ED school and is incredibly happy at his choice. He wouldn’t have considered it after he was admitted elsewhere, it turns out. This defintiely was a happy ending after all the heartache. And the CC parents helped immensely–we’ll stay tuned for support and congratulations for you all in the months to come!</p>
<p>lilmom,
Best of luck to him RD. By sending in additonal apps, he now has more–and perhaps better-- possibilities than he did before.</p>
<p>I agree that it’s more difficult in the moment than it will be in hindsight. Last year S was unceremoniously rejected from his ED school and like others, was accepted at nearly every other school to which he applied. In one respect I think ED rejection is easier than deferred because you are forced to clearly move on. And like the OP’s son, our son also seemed to be pretty OK with the rejection but there were some residual issues like, “If they’d don’t want me, who will?” that didn’t seem to rear their head until closer to regular decision time.</p>
<p>My “advice” is to let the kid mourn the loss for a day or two and then he needs to get cranking on the other applications. If there is not a clear second choice don’t worry about the lack of love. My S definitely didn’t allow himself to go there a second time around, but it also gave him much clearer insight into what HE wanted. Also… there is the bonus of actually getting to see where all you get in. There was a huge ego boost when all those fat envelopes arrived at the end of April… by man oh man… it was a nail-bitter of a wait.</p>
<p>While son admits he felt a slight sting the other day when a kid from his HS was accepted ED to the school who rejected S - who didn’t have near the grades OR the rigor in classes, he honestly is happy, happy, happy where he landed.</p>
<p>Thanks for your support! I know we’ll be posting acceptances in the spring :)<br>
Parent56 - I’m printing your quote and posting it on the fridge!</p>
<p>I also want to thank you for the supportive posts on this thread. My D was deferred at her ED school on Friday - and I am surprised about how much more bummed I am about it. Not because I thought for a moment that she was a shoe-in - but because so much time and angst has gone into the entire process and now we have several more months of this. The past year we have spent vacations looking at colleges and there are 2 more we haven’t seen yet, so I must put aside more vacation time for that. Plus, D is hoping to dance in college as a minor or secondary major so now we know she must go back to at least one safety school to audition. Lots of time it feels like to me. Intellectually, I know she will end up at a school that will be a good fit for her - I think all of her schools can be that fit school - but she has worked really hard in HS and I would love to see her get to one of her reach schools. </p>
<p>Anyway, she is buckling down to finish the last couple of applications and work on the merit apps for some of them - all but 3 were finished by Dec. 1. D had several friends and schoolmates get deferred or rejected from their ED schools on Friday (not the same school as her) and hardly any with acceptances at this point so, while disappointed, she is moving ahead. I hope there is still a shot at the ED school for her later, but who knows? Junior year was miserable with all the SAT testing and really challenging courses, this fall has been almost as bad with all the essays and applications. I guess I was just hoping for an early end to the process. Thanks for letting me vent here. My D does not know how I feel and I don’t want her to.</p>
<p>lilmom - I’m sorry. It’s hard to see your child hurt even when you know that eventually things will turn out alright. And I know that they will.</p>
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<p>This says so much about what a terrific young man your son is. Give him a big hug and let him know how proud you are of him.</p>
<p>DD was deferred at ED school. She was ultimately accepted, but it did her good to consider other options, fill out other applications and compare financial aid offers. She did ultimately attend ED school, and it was a “fit”, and the process did strengthen her.</p>
<p>DS was deferred at ED school. He was ultimately rejected. However, a week later an EA acceptance came from an equally (if not more) prestigious school, and he decided that the ED school wasn’t the fit he thought it was. He did get accepted to the school that had been his previous favorite that he had already gone back to wanting desperately to attend. He is.</p>
<p>The process was also strengthening. It was annoying when he was the only one in his group without the ED acceptance (of those who applied ED.)</p>
<p>lilmom,</p>
<p>I second the sentiments expressed here . FallGirl took the words right out of my mouth!
Big hugs to you,DH and DS. I’m looking forward to hearing about your choices when all the RD news comes in.</p>
<p>:( I’m sorry.</p>
<p>It looks like your son is trying to be proactive as he continues to apply to more schools. </p>
<p>Maybe others can chime in here, but it can help if he were to apply to a match/safety with rolling admissions that he would hear an acceptance rather quickly. It can really make the waiting to hear from the others much easier knowing that one has an acceptance (and maybe a scholarship) in one’s pocket! :)</p>
<p>Do you know of a match/safety with rolling admissions that your son could apply to that he might like? What is his likely major?</p>
<p>I’m sorry, and best of luck to you in RD. I know how it feels to be deferred, I was just deferred to my number one choice (UIUC)…but hours later I was accepted to Tulane, which is probably a better school, so I guess it all works out in the end. I’m sure your child will end up where they belong, whether it be their number one choice or not.</p>
<p>In case you’re wondering which schools have rolling admissions…here’s a list from another thread that I found…</p>
<p>These seem to be in no particular order…</p>
<p>Michigan, Ann Arbor
Penn State, University Park
Indiana, Bloomington
Minnesota
Wisconsin, Madison
Alabama
Auburn
Iowa
Arizona
Loyola Marymount
Loyola New Orleans
Purdue
Rutgers
Seton Hall
Wash St
UPittsburgh
UDayton
UTulsa
St Louis U</p>
<p>Lots of SUNYs</p>
<p>I’m sure there are more than this…I think Tulane has rolling, too.</p>
<p>I am so heartened by the encouragement we’ve received. It’s hard to talk to my friends here because we have the older kid and theirs are 2-3 yrs. younger. They’re looking to me for advice! I’ve told them about cc and how I feel the parents/students really understand what we’re experiencing. </p>
<p>mom2collegekids - I was thinking about talking to S about rolling adm. but I want to give him a few days to get his head around this recent development. I saw a couple of schools on the list that might be matches/safeties.
Thanks!</p>