<p>So now that the college application process is over, i've been applying for scholarships. To be able to afford the elite private schools on my list, I will need significant outside scholarships.
I walk into a former teacher's classroom today to ask her to send recommendation letters to 2 scholarships, and I am met with the rolling of her eyes! She previously wrote me recommendation letters for the 15 colleges I applied to. I know it's alot. Because of programs I did, I had to apply to certain colleges before Sept 1 (before school starts), so I informed all my letter writers well in advance (before they had any other seniors' letters to write). I'm not exactly sure, but I assumed that once a teacher wrote one letter for you, they just changed names (like Duke to Brown or X scholarship to Y scholarship). So I assumed these letters wouldn't be a huge deal. I even split up the load between more than 4 teachers. In total I applied to 15 colleges and 5 scholarships. </p>
<p>I didn't expect any teachers to get tired of this. I mean I know it comes out of their personal time, but I didn't think it was a huge job esp since it's the same letter just copied and sent to diff places (addressed envelopes included). Esp since even they regarded me as one of their best students; recommending me for departmental awards (this is why I wanted them to write my letters). I would never try to take advantage of a teacher, so I was surprised with her clear annoyance with me asking for more letters. </p>
<p>I don't think you did anything wrong. Perhaps she thought you were being snide or she might have just been having a bad day but from what you say in your email I am surprised that she would have that reaction. And, yes they should just swap out names in the letter of recommendation.</p>
<p>At schools like Duke and Brown that meet need, why do you need outside scholarships? While they are an advantage at the schools that do have a loan component to aid, in general the outside scholarships just replace the need based aid these schools will give you anyway, they don't cover your EFC. So relax, you can probably go regardless if your family can handle the EFC.</p>
<p>Have you ever given her a written thank-you letter for the reccs she has written for you? If not, then yes, you have been obnoxious. Too many students "forget" those thank-you notes even though teachers have spent an hour or more writing reccs for them. If that's the case with you, the teacher probably feels unappreciated and is reacting to your making yet another time-consuming request that you won't demonstrate appreciation for. Thank-you notes should be written right after the favor is done.</p>
<p>The mere act of asking for the recommendations was not obnoxious in and of itself. Were you obnoxious in the way you asked? That's in the body language, tone and words you used, none of which we can evaluate on the Internet. Did you ask or did you demand? Did you indicate that you knew it was an imposition or did you assume that this was no big deal? Did you come off as "entitled"? Did you simply catch her on a bad day? It's often not what you ask but how you ask it.</p>
<p>No one here can answer those questions. This is something you need to evaluate for yourself.</p>
<p>Some teachers apparently really do write different letters for each school or scholarship. Why they do this, I don't know, but if this teacher is one of them, it may explain her reaction.</p>
<p>just a note: when D1 applied for scholarships last year, she approached the teachers who had NOT done her regular recs, primarily because the scholarships were:</p>
<p>1) very specific; these other teachers knew her in a "different" context than the academic ones.....both were very versed in her outside interests...EC's</p>
<p>2) original teacher(s) who wrote recs write up to a max of 50 per year.....not one more....that is made very clear to the students.....and those are filed with our guidance office...once.....they make it very clear......</p>
<p>NSM and others, I'm wondering now about the timing of the thank-you for letters. </p>
<p>Ds asked three people to write a letter of recommendation for his Eagle Scout Board of Review about four-six weeks ago. I thought he'd wait to write his thank-you after the Board of Review, which still hasn't been set, but should be sometime in March, thinking he could let them know in the letter that he officially is an Eagle thanks to their help. But now I'm wondering whether he should just go ahead and write a thank-you immediately. College letters are mostly written months and months ahead of a known result, so those I can see thanking quickly.</p>
<p>D1 wrote thank you letters when she knew where she was attending....made the letters personalized by telling the teachers what she was going to do.......and how they helped her get there.....she still keeps in touch with two of them.....in subject areas, fwiw, that she is totally uninvolved with at school (sciences)....</p>
<p>Youdon'tsay - I'd have him write the thank you notes now. Then when he gets the eagle scout he can drop a line to update them and thank them again.</p>
<p>I had D write thank you notes with a restaurant gift card enclosed ($25) for 4 teachers and her guidance counselor after they had submitted their recs. They were all very appreciative - and delighted to receive the gift cards. D was very pleased that they were so pleased. I think OP could turn things around with his teacher by showing that extra bit of appreciation.</p>
<p>yea, I dont think I asked in a bad way. the main two techers i used actually offered to write my letters because they were so impressed with me last year, i dont think many teachers do that, so I figured it would be great to have their letters sent to the most competitive colleges and scholarships. All the other teachers are delighted to see me and recieve updates, and are always glad to see me applying to good schoools and looking for scholarships, maybe it was a bad day.</p>
<p>hmom5: not all the schools i applied to meet all the need. Harvard, duke , brown are great for this, but schools like cmu dont meet the whole need, and with the full rides i already have, I will need some scholarship money to convince my parents to let me go to one of the top schools I prob cant afford. yeah, its kinda my backup.</p>
<p>northstarmom: thats a very good point. i already had it in my mind to give them gifts later in the year. some of the teachers like to put up college flags from the schools their students get into. no one from my school has gotten into harvard and i applied there. thought it would make them happy to be able to put up the first harvard flag (if i get in). But I was going to give them a nice thank you card and a giftcard also. Giving it to them earlier would be a good idea though, so shows that i'm thankful no matter where I get in. Thanks for the advice!</p>
<p>"Ds asked three people to write a letter of recommendation for his Eagle Scout Board of Review about four-six weeks ago. I thought he'd wait to write his thank-you after the Board of Review, which still hasn't been set, but should be sometime in March, thinking he could let them know in the letter that he officially is an Eagle thanks to their help. But now I'm wondering whether he should just go ahead and write a thank-you immediately. "</p>
<p>It's courteous to write the thank-you letter right after the favor is done. If one gets the opportunity that the recommendation was designed to help one obtain, it's courteous to let the recommender know ASAP, something that can be done in person. The idea is that one's thank-you shouldn't appear to depend upon getting into the college, etc. that the recommender has written the support letter to help you with.</p>
<p>It's not necessary to give any kind of gift. What recommenders most appreciate is a handwritten thank-you that expresses genuine appreciation for the recommenders' support.</p>
<p>He was going to write a note and bake each letter-writter an apple pie. :)</p>
<p>I had no idea how long the Scout bureaucracy would drag this process out. I just found the dates ds e-mailed the troop leader for possible BofR. They go way into April so, yeah, sooner is much better than later because at this point it might be MUCH later.</p>
<p>you just have to understand that it takes a lot of time and work, especially if they are the ones mailing them... i just got them to sign the seal and mailed them all myself.
If they are a little frustrated, you have to let them feel that way, and just express extra gratitude and be sincere... say something like "I know there have been so many, and I really really appreciate your work, Thank you so much, and let me know if there is anything I can do to make this easier." Thats really all you can do. Just be nice. Theres nothing in a contract saying they HAVE to help you, so if without realizing, you are rude, or don't thank them enough, they can just as easiliy say, sorry, you have to find someone else.</p>