<p>Those rankings fall in the same category as The Onion's advice on selecting a college.</p>
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[quote]
Choosing A College</p>
<p>April 18, 2001 | Issue 3714 </p>
<p>The college years are a pivotal time in a person's life, not to mention a major financial investment. Here are some tips to help you choose the right school: </p>
<p>You can never go wrong choosing a college you saw advertised on public transportation. </p>
<p>There are many fine single-sex colleges where the emphasis is squarely on academics. Attend one of these only if you are a homosexual. </p>
<p>Examine the school's official crest. If it has a big pot leaf in the center, you are on the right track. </p>
<p>Find a college that will nurture your talents. For example, if you have an aptitude for dressing up in drag, penning witty quatrains, and awarding celebrities prizes as a way to draw attention to yourself, you may want to consider Harvard. </p>
<p>If you fail to get accepted at a good school, you have brought shame upon not only yourself, but also your entire family. Committing ritual seppuku is the only way to save face. </p>
<p>Schools that boast about their outstanding academic reputation are probably insecure about their inadequacies in other areas. </p>
<p>The Armed Forces Scholarship Program is a great way to earn a considerable amount of money toward college, but it has a small "joining the goddamn army" downside. </p>
<p>When consulting Playboy's annual party-school rankings, be sure to look closely at the students-per-hot-tub ratio. </p>
<p>Be wary of colleges where the chair of the history department keeps using the phrase "olden times." </p>
<p>If you are having a hard time deciding between Princeton and Yale, cry me a ****ing river, Fauntleroy. </p>
<p>Avoid colleges where the previous year's commencement speaker was Burt Ward. </p>
<p>College? Aw, man, what are you thinking about college for? You're the best metal guitarist in Winneshiek County.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I am not sure what is more entertaining ... reading the report, reading the attempts of the editors to pretend there was a scientific method behind this "stuff", or actually reading that some do believe in parts of the reports. </p>
<p>Last year, one of the title of this "ranking" was: Is Our Students Learning? The measurements elite colleges don't want you to see. </p>
<p>Maybe, by next year, those sharp editors might figure out that their "ranking" should be titled:</p>
<p>The measurements college applicants don't want you to see!</p>