Wedding as a finaid reason...too weird?

<p>Hi,</p>

<p>I'm Indian, and of the type where weddings are a big issue...parents do start saving up from a long time ago..the costs of one wedding could be around a year's tution at an Ivy when you factor in all the people there, the location et. al...and the girl's side usually bears most of the cost, if not all, as per custom. I have a sister.</p>

<p>Thing is, I'm filling out my finaid app. For the section where they ask for special reasons/circumstances would the adcom get it if I put it in? Or would they just disregard it? Because it IS a big deal...I could explain the whole thing about our customs...</p>

<p>This is serious. I'm not just putting this up here for a laugh. Would appreciate any advice. Not too much sarcasm if you can help it...:D</p>

<p>My guess is that the finaid people will expect the money to be used for school as it is "savings". The reason for the savings does not matter.</p>

<p>It may not be "too weird", but adcoms won't care. On the plus side, once married, you are considered independent from your parents for finaid purposes. Thus, their income/assets won't matter, at least for fafsa.</p>

<p>They won't consider it. Americans like to throw large, expensive weddings (and Sweet 16 parties, and confirmations, and . . .), too. But that won't impress financial aid people. Why should I subsidize you (which is what you're asking for) because your culture wants you or your sister to have a big wedding? Life is about choices; sometimes the choice is between financing a wedding and financing a college education.</p>

<p>OK man i am a Pakistani and i am in the same situation as you are. but i think that 50000 dollars which is equivalent to approximately 3 million rupees is too much for a wedding even in India. i do think its a factor worth mentioning even though i am not because my dad has saved up money separately for that. Do mention it though because it is a serious concern..</p>

<p>hmm....
thanks for all your replies...</p>

<p>@moizuhk - yeah, i think you're right about the amount...I was thinking more along the lines of 40,000 USD...below ivy league. But you understand. </p>

<p>@Chedva - well, you can't compare sweet 16 parties et. al to our weddings...I dunno if you're indian/pakistani but if you know one, and ask them, you'll get what I'm talking about. Life is about choices true, but its not my decision to make in this case. And asking my Dad to finance my college education instead of getting my sister married properly would just get me kicked out of the house :D. But I appreciate your perspective; its exactly along the lines of what I needed to know...you have a point...what if I explained in a few lines how big a deal it was? would that sway you?</p>

<p>@bluebayou - I'm not the one getting married. Im talking about my sister :D</p>

<p>I think they would more than likely disregard it due to what Chedva is talking about.</p>

<p>Yes, I do understand how big a deal it is. I do understand the cultural imperative. We all have cultural imperatives. From a financial perspective, it is still a choice to follow or buck this imperative. Your parents may not want to spend the money, but it is there and could be used for your college education as far as the schools are concerned.</p>

<p>You are asking others to subsidize your cultural imperative by ignoring the money your family has and giving you financial aid. I doubt this is going to happen.</p>

<p>Its money already earmarked for a wedding though- its like a retirement fund. We as Americans place a high premium on the condo in Boca and membership to the country club when were older. Indian culture places a higher premium on throwing a lavish wedding for fulfillment. In their culture, that is what is important. Just because there is no 401k for weddings doesn't mean that the wont consider your circumstances. Granted, some institutions take retirement savings into account when computing FA, but it cant hurt to mention and explain. </p>

<p>Its a matter of cultural differences- do Americans need a $40,000 Cadillac SUV- no, do Indians need a $40,000 wedding- no. But schools don't expect you to hock your car to pay for your education.</p>

<p>
[quote]
But schools don't expect you to hock your car to pay for your education.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>actually they do... if you own something like an expensive yacht you're supposed to report it, the school considers the value of it if it were sold</p>

<p>
[quote]
do Americans need a $40,000 Cadillac SUV

[/quote]

Very few Americans are wealthy enough to own $40,000 Cadillacs... Likewise, I bet that very few Indians are wealthy enough to throw a $40,000 wedding. </p>

<p>Anyways,

[quote]
But schools don't expect you to hock your car to pay for your education.

[/quote]

There is a flaw with this logic. The OP has not yet thrown the wedding. Your argument would have to be along the lines of "But schools don't expect you to hock your future plans of buying a $40,000 Cadillac to pay for your education." Yea they do... they don't care about things which you have plenty of control over.</p>

<p>Yeah, a quarter million dollar yacht is significantly more expensive than a nice new SUV. Buying a yacht puts your firmly into the top 1% of income earners- why a yacht owner would even apply for FA is beyond me. Buying a new car puts you as upper middle class. On the CSS they don't even ask you about your automobiles. </p>

<p>Mention it. There is no way at all it could hurt. Approach from the angle that it has been set aside for your sisters wedding; compare it to a retirement fund. Good luck.</p>

<p>In the end, I think putting that down is going to be looked at with a quizzical response (are you kidding me?)</p>

<p>This money is earmarked for cultural reasons, now see it from an unbiased view...is she engaged, if she was the money would already be disappearing from the fund. If a family member took ill and had to sell everything for medical reasons would they never touch it, and instead lose their house?
What if the folks lost their job and could not pay the bills?</p>

<p>In the end I think the circumstances they are talking about, is along the lines of...lawsuit due to disabilities ( friend has a child who has permanent physical disabilities and won a malpractice case, the money is in a fund to pay for them)</p>

<p>The big wedding maybe a cultural thing, but how you can ask that they give you money, when another students' parents don't have the money to give a small wedding. Again it is for your sibling, not you.</p>

<p>Oh BTW it is an American custom for the bride's parents to pay also and I would think that logic would not go far. In metropolitan areas it is not unusual to spend 50-60 (cousin got married at the Willard in DC with 125 guests...reception bill was 45k not including flowers, gown, trolley's) NJ weddings are typically 150 pp for the reception alone, NYC is in the 200 pp.</p>

<p>My suggestion tell the folks to pay their mtg 50K since equity in a home can't be used and the question would be moot</p>

<p>I also think that it is very likely that they would disregard it. A few things to consider, however;</p>

<p>Not many schools in the US provide a lot of aid to international students. I assume that you have done your homework and have gotten into one that does.</p>

<p>Some schools have international applicants fill out a FAFSA form so that they have numbers to work from to compute need. If your school uses this method, the impact of an extra $50,000 in the parents' names may not be as much as you might guess. See eduPASS</a> | Financial Aid for International Students | The FAFSA for some good info for international students who are asked to submit a FAFSA and see FinAid</a> | Calculators | Quick EFC Calculator Results for a quick and dirty EFC calculator that will allow you to play with some numbers and get a rough estimate. The numbers I plugged in showed that an additional $50,000 in parental savings increased the annual EFC by about $2700. If your EFC is pretty low to begin with that can hurt a lot, but if your parents can find some way to economize and do the wedding for $40000 instead of $50000 then you come out pretty much even. If your sister gets married while you are in school, then the EFC would be recalculated for later years and the school may decide to increase your aid at that point. (Of course they may also elect not to, depending on the policies at the school.)</p>

<p>The numbers might come out very differently for schools that do not use FAFSA figures to calculate EFC for international students, but you might be able to get a feel from the financial aid office of how much difference the extra savings in your parents names will count against the amount of aid that they are prepared to offer.</p>

<p>Davnesca we cross posted... The yacht and car are not reasonable comparisons they are not cultural reasons.</p>

<p>What about the person whose parents are saving for a bat mitzvah (same cost) should they be allowed, afterall everyone I know starts planning 2 yrs out, and it is definitive date, not if this occurs while I am at school. </p>

<p>What about the devout catholic and communion/confirmation scenario as a catholic we have only 5 holy sacraments those are 2 of them</p>

<p>As soon as we open the gate for cultural reasons, there is no turning back. This is why it all comes down to numbers. Using a cultural reason has no merit or basis, we can all start playing the game to our advantage. If M & D have saved for the wedding great, but why should that have any play at all on how much they can afford?</p>

<p>
[quote]
Its money already earmarked for a wedding though- its like a retirement fund. . . Just because there is no 401k for weddings doesn't mean that the wont consider your circumstances. Granted, some institutions take retirement savings into account when computing FA, but it cant hurt to mention and explain.

[/quote]

If the "retirement fund" isn't in a restricted IRA or 401K, it's considered available for college. If "retirement fund" is the real estate investment your parents made, it's considered available for college. The reason that 401Ks and IRAs are not considered is because there are legal restrictions on the release and use of those funds, not because they're "earmarked".</p>

<p>And yes, moneys that are put into a 401K or IRA during that particular year are considered as available for college during that year, because your parents could have kept that money out of the 401K or IRA and chose not to do so.</p>

<p>We're helping to support my mother-in-law. Also a laudable goal, but guess what? Colleges generally don't care.</p>

<p>If you have $40,000 "earmarked" for that SUV in a savings account, yes, it's considered available for college. Your home is considered available for college even though you have to live there (parents often mortgage or remortgage their home). Colleges don't expect you to hock your car for college because they know that the minute you drive that $40,000 SUV off the lot, it's now worth less than $20,000. But they also don't consider the fact that filling the tank of that SUV now costs $50. You made that choice.</p>

<p>On one thing I agree - it can't hurt to try to explain. Just don't get your hopes up.</p>

<p>It really can't hurt to explain about your parents' savings being earmarked for your sister's wedding. I got married while I was a student, and we received a substantial amount of money as wedding gifts. I explained to the financial aid office that while we had this money in the bank, we were using it to repay money we had borrowed to throw ourselves a wedding. While we did not have an especially lavish wedding, H and I both come from very large families, so even our fairly modest wedding was quite expensive at the time. I was already receiving financial aid and was nervous about the school withdrawing some of their financial support, but they did not. Of course this was 20 years ago, so things may have changed........lol.</p>

<p>Thank you, everyone, for your views. This is exactly what I was hoping to obtain.</p>

<p>@bulletandpima - Hmm, well, I didn't know that receptions cost that much in America...40K in India is usually enough to pull of the whole thing, reception, wedding, and a few other ceremonies.</p>

<p>Its true, most indians are not wealthy enough to pull of a 40K wedding. Thats why they save. In many cases, a wedding fund is like a college fund in the community. Trust me when I say people start saving from when kids are like 5-10. I don't know how it is in America, but thats the way it is here. And I could explain all of that.</p>

<p>I seem to have ruffled some feathers here, and I apologize if I come accross as insensitive and selfish. However, a wedding cannot be compared to buying a Cadillac or, for that matter, a yacht :D but you all know that.
I don't really have to worry about explaining anything else; we don't really have too much, but this IS a major concern, which is why I started the thread. Again, I'm not trying to play on the emotional quotients; seeing as universities appreciate diverse student bodies, I thought they might understand.</p>

<p>By the way this is for UPenn. Yes, I know its Ivy league, and the competition et. al. I'm an above average student, and with my stats I think I have a shot. I know that my request for fin. aid will affect my chances, but there really is no point getting in without finaid.</p>

<p>Thanks again,
sorry for the bother.</p>

<p>I know, but it can't hurt to put it down. It is true that it may well be ignored, but it can have no detrimental effect.</p>

<p>I don't think they'll exempt the wedding money from calculations and give you extra finaid...The kinds of things you'll get extra finaid for are if 1) parents get laid off 2) parents die.... seriously if you look at a finaid website that's what they'll list. And also if like your sibs enter college and stuff, but they're legally obliged to do that :(</p>