D1 created a spreadsheet with all key people for the wedding to figure out when they needed to be where, and then sent it to relevant people.
In the spreadsheet she had what pictures she wanted and then came up for a schedule for people when they needed to come for their pictures. The wedding planner took the spreadsheet and directed everyone.
D1 said she didn’t want to leave it to the photographers to take pictures.
My sister left it to the photographer for her son’s wedding. She said there was not one picture of her and her husband together.
We did a lot of planning before the wedding, but left everything to the wedding planner the day of wedding, which included paying all the vendors.
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Love it!!! Yes!!!
Comfort is key! (My MIL was shocked I wore ballet shoes but she ended up putting bling on them for me. Not that anyone really saw them!)
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This article made me think of this thread:
I will say my one regret from my long ago wedding was deciding against the $100 white carriage and horses to go from the synagogue to the hotel reception. I still wish we had done that (instead of the back seat of best man’s car).
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Get the video. My D was then able to see the wedding party procession…and also a few of the people that she missed. And my Dad, who couldn’t attend, was able to see the ceremony, the party, the speeches, etc.
And get at least the day of wedding assistant…for those last minute oopsies…
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I did two things that I liked and would do again.
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I had an engagement party at my house in FL. Only people who knew my son were invited, which included the parents of his closest friends and relatives. Her parents were there. People made name tags saying their name and relationship, like fiancé’s MO. I had pictures of the kids school buildings, and used Boston themes. Ivy plants in red containers, red candies in red bowls, and red plates and napkins. In de-cluttering fashion, I had made a photo book-just one- for son. So, the parents of his friends could look and see themselves and the children at various ages.
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Wedding in Chicago, so I chose a pizza restaurant in walking distance to the hotel for the rehearsal dinner. 100 guests, since most people came from out of town. It was a nice way for people to mingle. The couple planned the menu. Giovanni’s packed all the leftovers in nice boxes, so guests could take with them. We passed a group of homeless and gave them our boxes.
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There are some wedding tips that are timeless. One is to accept that despite all plans, something will probably go wrong. Don’t freak out when it does.
Where will everyone park? That was an issue my husband and I never considered. We got married at a venue that shared the parking lot with a restaurant. We later found out that the restaurant complained about the parking and tried to stop people from parking there. It is worth ensuring that there is a clear designated parking area, depending on where the wedding is.
Apparently disposable cameras are back. Like others have mentioned, some of the best photos came from those disposable cameras.
We attended a great wedding this summer. However, we honestly felt the bride and groom went overkill with the food. Cocktails and plentiful hors d’oeuvres, great. There was a fantastic and large formal dinner, great. At 9 pm, two hours after the formal dinner ended, there was a pizza truck. I actually was amazed at how many people ate pizza. Fair enough, because people were drinking. Then there was a huge sweet station, with cupcakes, cookies, and candy, which it seemed not many took advantage of, but who knows. Then there was the cake cutting and it seems no one ate the wedding cake, which was just a shame.
Again, a wonderful wedding, but I can’t help thinking that the couple could have saved so much money and still had a great celebration if they hadn’t so much food after the formal dinner.
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H’s niece got married last summer and part of what made their reception so fantastic was the band they hired. I can’t say enough about that group. They had about 9 people total, including a few on horns and 4 singers! They played everything - rock/rap/old standards/disco/country etc. and did it all really well. I think everyone except my husband was out on the dance floor.
If you are looking for an amazing band in Chicago area feel free to send me a PM. Not sure what the pricing is though…
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I got married in 1984. At the time videographers for wedding was a fairly new thing. I regret not having had one.
My daughter has been to a lot of weddings lately so I think she’ll have some good ideas of what she likes and doesn’t.
I went to my uncle’s wedding when I was 8 and he had these little boxes like the size of a bracelet box) to take home cake to put under your pillow and dream of your future spouse. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world (I was 8) and I’ve always wanted those at a wedding.
My friend gave out little bells at the church and you were supposed to ring them when you felt happy during the ceremony. It was pretty cool to hear the tinkling through the ceremony.
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When my D got married the couple made it clear that the most important thing to them was having the people they cared about there with them, and not just everyone they knew so it was small. They were comfortable tossing things they didn’t care about—no cake (!!!—they had churros instead and it was fine), very simple one page invites from Costco I think, she did her own flowers (just bouquets) with the bridesmaids the morning of the wedding and they were beautiful and they all enjoyed making their own bouquets. Simple catered meal, simple drink menu, Honestly they did more themselves than I was comfortable with but for them, it worked. They are both highly organized, and that and some smart delegating allowed it to work beautifully. They chose a very pretty outdoor venue and let the natural decor set the scene rather then doing much decorating. It was casual rather than formal.
For favors they used tiny succulent plants as table decorations and let the guests take them afterwards. We still had a ton left over.
And one of our favorite photos wasn’t taken by the photographer either.
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Love it. That’s what I was saying above – the kids know what they want. Let them do it their way. We’ve already (maybe) had our own weddings. This is their turn.
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I wish I could have slowed time on D’s wedding day. We had so much fun, but it seemed to fly by so quickly.
I agree that you have to roll with the punches if things don’t go quite right. D got married by our minister, but in a church that was near the reception venue. The sound wasn’t working properly, and they had to rustle up the sound guy. It took awhile … which turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as my S - who was supposed to walk me down the aisle - was late (but he did arrive in time due to the sound issue). Everyone was cool about the wait, thank goodness!
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Just as my son and DiL began to dance, the sound system went down! After about 90 seconds of frantic trying to fix it (we chose not to spend $$ on a band, and instead my nephews dj’d from a playlist) my dil looks at the crowd and yells “who wants some cake?!!!” So they cut the cake, and by the time that was done, the sound system was back up (the venue apologized profusely) and didn’t fail again.
The ushers forgot to escort people to their seats. The MOB continued to threaten to leave if she couldn’t speak during the service. (she didn’t, and she didn’t)
Guests got to the venue before we did. I lost the beautiful clip on bows for my shoes. The waitstaff forgot to open all the wine. It was a fall wedding but nearly 90 and nobody knew how to turn on the AC at the church. We forgot to get help to clean up and load cars.
BUT
We sent packages of favors, etc to anyone who couldn’t come. Groom danced with his grandmothers. Bride danced with my brothers. bridesmaids made me a bouquet from their bouquets. Rang bells from my mils collection as couple came down the aisle. Small children escaped during the recession and “helped” the bride and groom down the aisle, we laughed and laughed.
make it your own, relax, and it will be lovely. we never had so much fun.
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One tip (from recent weddings). If you are inviting older people have a place for them to sit during the reception even if it is cocktail style. A lot of couples love the mix & mingle format (and I do too), but people in their 70s will want to sit and can’t necessarily juggle their drinks and food.
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On the topic of music. We were at 2 weddings this fall-one was DS’s, the other, the wedding of a neighbor’s D. Both had DJ’s and the playlists were fabulous. BUT… mind the the volume! DS (the acoustician) and his wife paid close attention. While plenty loud enough for dancing, nobody’s head was about to explode. The other wedding was so loud that everyone’s ears were absolutely ringing, and there was no place to have a conversation unless you were outside. I know we’re old and all, but H and I had a headache for 2 days.
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From my own wedding, I’m very glad I asked the photographer to make sure he got pictures of all the tables while everyone was still there. He also took a great picture of the entire wedding as we walked across campus from where the wedding took place to where the reception was. It’s one of my favorites.
From my nephew’s wedding I am still miffed that there isn’t a single picture of me or my husband in the official photos. I would have bought some if there had been.
Make sure the cake tastes good! Everyone talks about how tasty ours was years later.
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Oh, this reminds me of something we had the photographer do at our wedding that everyone loved. I wanted pics of extended family members, and the photographer brought an actual backdrop, like what we used to take school pictures in front of. We got the most lovely photos of all the family before the ceremony – formal, but not, ya know? Back when their was no “first look” and the bride and groom were kept separate, dh got wonderful photos with his family, and I got beautiful photos with mine. The flower girl and ring bearer and their big sister were in an adorable shot that still hangs in my BIL’s house today. This speeds up the photos at the altar (or wherever) after the ceremony, too. The photo of me and my grandfather is on my nightstand to this day, and we still have displayed me and my siblings and dh and his parents.
But I’m a photography nut. I love pictures. Good ones are really important to me.
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Variation on that: At my cousin’s recent wedding (I didn’t attend), with well over 100 guests, the open-seating dinner reception was under a tent, a longish distance from the lakeside ceremony. After the vows, the younger guests hot-footed it back to the tent and snagged chairs at the round tables, while the elderly walked slowly or waited for a ride in a golf cart. By the time my parents made it to the tent, the only seating left was picnic tables, which obviously they found very uncomfortable and difficult to maneuver in and out of. Why a small portion of the seating was picnic tables I don’t know; l’m guessing space constraints under the tent.
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My pet peeve is I want a seat for every guest. I also want an assigned table not necessarily an assigned seat.
If you can sprung for the band I’d do it. None of my kids could afford the cost of a band but the weddings we have gone to with a band have been great. A band seems to really get people of all ages up and on the dance floor.
No matter how much time you think you’re giving for getting ready, photos etc you will still feel rushed.
I loved having my hair and makeup done. I’m not a makeup person normally but it was nice to have a professional do my makeup and hair. In all three weddings the hair and makeup people made me feel pretty but not so much that I didn’t feel like myself.
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We had a photographer who specialized in candid photos. My brother subtly sneered because our posed pictures were in front of Venetian blinds in the lobby of the synagogue (mainly because the florist ran late and was still setting up in the sanctuary). But we all looked great in those photos and he got wonderful shots at the reception of everyone enjoying themselves, including dancing, plus group pictures of every table. It was a relatively small wedding (85 people). One of our favorite pictures was a group shot of everyone from husband’s home town area - well over half the guests.
And our fee covered all the pictures - we have an album of proofs (not stamped “proof”) then we and both sets of parents each ordered albums of the shots they liked best. In law’s album is the biggest!
Then my brother’s fancy dancy photographer apparently did a terrible job at his wedding a few years later - brother and sister-in-law were very dissatisfied with the results.
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