What shouldn’t I do?
Don’t listen to other people. Trust your instinct. You know your child better than anyone.
Don’t let your kid apply to places you can’t afford. Figure out your budget, run net price calculators, and get a realistic idea of the merit money landscape if you need it. Share this info early with your student so they understand the limitations.
Stay in your lane. Do what works for your kid and your family. Don’t let peer pressure sway either of you.
Don’t have a list filled with reaches. Spent the most time researching match and safety schools.
Don’t:
–Treat your young adult like a little child. (Pay close attention to his/her opinions, desires etc.)
–Forget to discuss any restrictions on his/her college choices upfront. This includes financial, geographic, or other considerations you may have.
– Focus only on reach schools (after all they are so prestigious) and downplay the need to find match/safety schools that your child would be happy to attend. (There are so many wonderful schools out there where you son or daughter can have a great 4 year experience and get where he/she want to go in life.)
–Forget that the college tours may be some of the last road trips you take. (Take advantage of the time together.)
–Let stress take over the process. (Try to do things in an orderly manner. Agree on a schedule if needed)
Don’t let college admissions take up too much space in your head, or in your child’s head. Pick a time once a week to discuss/update, and find other fun things to do with your child the rest of the week.
Don’t try to control the entire process.
Don’t weight prestige above fit.
How old is your student? My answers will vary depending on the age of the kiddo.
The thread title indicates that the child was recently born. Keep the baby warm, fed, and loved. The rest will take care of itself. What not to do:
- Read parenting books
- Compare your child to anyone else's
- Compare your parenting to anyone else's
- Helicopter
- Take this forum too seriously
Good luck! 
Don’t include yourself as one piece with your child. “We” are not applying. “We” are not working on essays. “We” did not get accepted/rejected/waitlisted. “We” are not going to college.
Brantly I was going to say the exact same thing!
…be prepared for a lot of changes in the college landscape- places that were easy admits when we went through are suddenly selective. Your child may not be able to get into your alma mater.
Great advice, everybody!
@compmom Great minds …
Don’t base your list on the college rankings. If a better fit is outside the top 100 it is ok!
Don’t force your child to apply to reaches if they don’t want to.
Don’t only apply to reaches.
Visit colleges.
Enjoy the process and listen to your child.
Do help your child find a list of schools that he/she can likely get into, and do encourage early applications.
It’s so nice, come January, to have a choice of good fit schools!!!
The OP seems to have left the room.
For all we know, this is a baby, or a HS freshman, or a first grader, or a HS senior.
And…what to do about WHAT? Yes, this is a college website, but we’ve had folks post about whT to do with first or second graders.
I will patiently wait for @hoodle to come back and clarify what he or she wants to know.
agree so strongly with post 2. Unless money is absolutely no object, don’t tell kid you’ll find a way to send him/her anywhere kid wants. Do a careful evaluation to determine what money you are willing and able to donate.
Also- think in advance if your money is tied to any conditions. It isn’t fair imo to add conditions afterward.
For example: If kid drops a class or 2, or changes major, the g.p.a., or gets in trouble, kid needs to know in advance if there are terms that might cause him to lose the gift of your dough.
Don’t overdo the college application thing…you can read stories where people visit 30 colleges all over the country with each involving an overnight visit.
College visits should you give you an idea of that school…but more often you get an idea of that type of school. So big state schools are similar, small LACs are similar, etc. Get a feel for the type of school your student wants through these visits. Then, when they are accepted , they can visit 2-3 for admitted student day to narrow it down.
Feel free to be vague when other parents ask you about colleges, or feel free to share.
“Oh, s/he’s looking at East Coast LACs” or “He is looking at big state schools”