Weight loss a good essay topic?

College Essays
1

One of the common app essay questions is something along the lines of “tell a story that you wouldn’t be the same without”. I think weight loss is the best example I have. Previous answers to this question say to stay away from it because it shows image issues, vanity, an inability to deal with stress, and/or a possibility of “relapse”. Here are a few more (non-specific, of course) details about my particular situation that I think make my story different.

Image issues: it’s something I’ve overcome, and it’s not just because I’m “not fat anymore”. I’d say that I’m more equipped to deal with insecurities now, not that they’re totally gone.

Vanity: this kind of ties into the first one. The weight I’ve lost is a significant amount, and no reasonable person can argue that where I started wasn’t a very unhealthy position. As a middle schooler I had a BMI of about 32, which is in the obese range. And my motivation wasn’t vanity either, what got me started was really seeing how unhealthy I was and more importantly how dangerous it was to be that heavy.

Inability to deal with stress: I really don’t want to brag, but I think my high test scores and AP-heavy workload prove that I can deal with stress just fine. Isn’t that one of the main reasons to take those courses in the first place? Academically my application is incredibly strong, I just hope this essay can supplement it.

Possibility of relapse: I don’t think I can predict this since who knows the future? But to be perfectly honest I don’t see it happening. I already addressed the stress thing, so really the only reason to think it would happen is if the independence of college life would make me go astray and screw it up. Of course the only reason this would happen is if my family created an incredibly controlled environment so that I could lose weight (making healthier dinners, taking junk food out of the house, playing sports together). My family has been incredibly supportive, but in reality I did all the work myself. This happened during high school, so it’s not like some abstract thing that I very vaguely remember. It’s not like I’ve “always been like that”.

So, what do you think? Still a bad idea? I really don’t have any better topics. No sports, no music, no drama, no academic competitions to write about. I genuinely feel like this is my defining story up to this point. As to what it “reveals” about me (motivation, character, self-discipline, etc.), I think I’ll leave that up to the admissions officers to decide. Show, don’t tell, right?

2

What happens if the adcom who reads your essay is overweight? Will they appreciate you waxing lyrical about “how dangerous it is” to be the way they are?

3

^ So maybe mentioning the BMI isn’t a good idea. I wouldn’t worry about the vanity/not able to handle stress/relapse concerns. Maybe broaden your discussion to discuss how your efforts have paid off in other areas (like you have more self discipline with your studies or you have a greater understanding of the challenges faced by others.)

4

I just feel like it is hard to make this interesting – what makes them say “I want this student on campus!”. I would not focus on the prompts – think more about unique or interesting things about yourself, even if they are small. Then see what prompt it fits into.

5

@bodangles

I don’t see how it’s an offensive to fat people to say that the way I personally was was dangerous. And it was. It’s not me “waxing lyrical”, it’s what my doctor told me and warned me about. I’m not saying “I lost weight because being fat is really dangerous”, I’m saying “I lost weight because the way I was was really dangerous”.

6

@CheddarcheeseMN

I probably wouldn’t mention it in my essay, I just put it in this post to provide context. I know that being overly-technical can be concerning and it can show a lack of authenticity. And I appreciate your advice on broadening my discussion, but I feel like it’s a tightrope to walk on. I don’t want to outright say “I’m so successful/better/more understanding because I lost weight” but at the same time I don’t want to leave all these things to be assumed. Maybe I’ll hint at or imply them, it’s just hard to write an essay about this while at the same time not trying to sound like I’m trying to “stretch” it to fit some pre-conceived idea of what they want to hear.

7

@intparent

Like I said, I really don’t have anything better. Maybe I don’t get out enough, but I don’t know many teenagers who have gone through this. I wish I did, but I don’t have any “quirks” about me that shout “unique, creative, and/or interesting”. I understand there are a hundred better things to make a college think “we need this kid”, but the reality is that I don’t have any of them.

8

Like seriously… If you would never say that to someone’s face (and I wouldn’t, it’s insanely arrogant and could really hurt their feelings or the very least come off as superiority) then don’t make it the topic of your essay.

9

@bodangles

I probably worded it wrong, I’m not saying that I want the main idea of my essay to be “I’m amazing because I lost weight”. I’m not saying that’s what I want the adcom to “assume” either. I just want to make sure it communicates what I want it to communicate without getting into the territory of either arrogance or vagueness.

10

You don’t have to “get out” to find other topics. One of my kids wrote about an early obsession with a famous literary character and her attempts to imitate him through the years with varying degrees of success. That was all in her head. I can see that you are set on your current topic, though.

11

@intparent

I am because really I think it’s the best I have. I just want to see if it’s good enough. With all due respect (and I actually mean that), I don’t see how the example you described is any more appealing than mine. Yeah, it’s fun and quirky, but what does that signify to colleges? What does it say about this person?

12

Don’t make them smack their head when a bright kid writes about weight loss. It’s not something relevant to what they look for. (They’d have to do a big leap to pull the attributes they want to find from that.) I think that if we, as adults with lots of life experience, were applying, some of us could angle this to make it make sense, but it would be incredibly tough for a high schooler.

What you may be able to do is use your new ‘heath awareness’ as one small illustration of your growth. But to focus the essay on it misses the point.

And you’ve stated targets including Stanford, Caltech, and Berkeley. I’d suggest you pick a topic in line with their standards. You mention not having many ECs. You have some hurdles here and should be savvy about what you present.

When they ask you to "“tell a story that you wouldn’t be the same without,” they still expect an appropriate choice of response, not just any something extremely important to you, in private. Try to remember, you’re writing for strangers reviewing not only your record, but how you think.

13

They read hundreds of essays a day. That is what your risk is – it is a hard topic to make stand out. It is servicable,but not “sparky”. You asked a question in your post, I am giving you an honest opinion. I also think an applicant who can only think of one thing they want to tell admissions hasn’t looked very hard.

14

@intparent

It’s not just “one thing”, but this seems like the only topic I can write genuinely about. It’s the only one I care about. I could write about my job or the math team but I just feel like that would be way too dull since it’s nothing that I really care about

15

@lookingforward

What is the kind of thing “in line with their standards”? Do I really need some amazing feat like curing cancer or solving world hunger to get into these places? Do I honestly not have a shot if I haven’t done things like that? Are those really the only examples of “appropriate responses”?

16

There was a CC kid who wanted to write something similar, but it was a marvelous exploration and show of his determination, resilience and growth, AND (and this is key) various darned good challenges he took on, after a rather small moment of inspiration. (I.e., not really about weight loss or image or health, at all.) He had the proofs he could discuss. He was tying together an interesting record of accomplishments. Not huge, but collectively, it showed what a neat kid he is.

“I think my high test scores and AP-heavy workload prove that I can deal with stress just fine.” But in the writing, they are looking for your thinking, which starts with the choice of what to write. They want to see you “get it,” i.e., what qualities they look for, what bullets are relevant,what you add to their campus in energies and outlook. And “show, not just tell.” Not just you say you are “more equipped to deal with insecurities now,” but what backs that up, shows it.

If you truly have next to no ECs, this is going to be an issue for top tier colleges. You need to be savvy.

This isn’t about some fat adcom’s reaction.

17

As is often the case on essay topics, I differ with many of the posters. I think that this topic could work for you if it can show who you are. If, for example, you found that people paid more attention to you when you spoke after you’d lost weight, did that change you or your perception of the world? For most people, food issues are related to something that is pretty integral to their lives, and often, in addressing them, something important is revealed. In other words, don’t make it about losing weight, but what that journey taught you.

18

My #15 x-posted with OP.
As poster Northstarmom wrote, years ago, about Harvard: “If you have to ask, forget it.” (She was referring to a host of questions kids ask about their targets, things they should know before they decide to apply, when they match themselves,holistically. Yes, she was being tough.) You should know, from researching Stanford and MIT, that no one is expected to cure cancer. Or be published. And what they do like. It’s part of being informed- and that’s central. When 30-40k bright, accomplished kids apply, the need to show the right, relevant (to them) attributes increases. If you don’t, hundreds are lined up behind you. It’s not just stats.

Ever read the MIT admission blogs? Know what S wants to find in applicants? Dig around on their web sites. You still have time. Breathe. Take a walk and think. Why did you say you have no ECs besides the job, if you have math club? What else are you not mentioning, including outside school?

Sorry if my tone is harsh.

GSL, the charming essay that works for some colleges often won’t, for Stanford or MIT. Maybe OP has revised her/his goals down. There are ordinary topics that can still sing, but this is a tough one. Show, not just tell. (Can she show how her actions shifted as she evolved? Or only declare it? She says next to no ECs, no community activities, bare commitment.) And if she wants chem engn, those colleges expect the activities, proof of the mindset, not just the courses. She needs to figure how to position herself.

19

I think @lookingforward has it right. Top colleges want interested and interesting people. That is what you are trying to show in your essay. Don’t take the prompt so literally. Most students have multiple facets of themselves that they can choose to explore and reveal. The fact that you list your activities as other topics (eg, math club) is a sign that you don’t understand what you are trying to accomplish here – it isn’t so much about an action or activity.