So I recently moved in, wednesday, and today’s friday, so maybe I’m freaking out too early, but I’m just not having a great time. I’m on Newton, and I’m just not getting along with my hallmates, not in any bad/fighting kind of way, but just like, I don’t foresee being anymore than acquaintances. I’ve met some cool people so far, but they live in get different dorms, and I haven’t found them since. I’m also not really a “bro” type, and I’m an introvert, nor am I into sports that much… you get the deal. Everyone’s been telling me that most everyone is putting on a front to cover up how lonely they are, most people who become friends in welcome week don’t remain that way, it’ll get better once classes/clubs start, etc. but I’m worried it won’t and that BC might’ve not been the right place for me. Is it normal/fine to not really get along with your hallmates? And does it really get better once Welcome Week ends? I really don’t want this to be a pity party, I’m just a lost freshman guy looking for genuine advice.
The transition into college is a difficult time for everybody. It really does get better…check out all the clubs that are offered and join the ones which share your passions (just one or two). The clubs are a godsend for many. Also check out the program 48 hours http://www.bc.edu/offices/fye/48hours.html In this program/retreat you can express your feelings and reservations, experiences and fears about BC. The purpose of 48 hours is to bring people together to share with others and help with the adjustments to college life at BC. Take care, good luck, and all the best.
You’re away from family for the first time. You’re a bit more isolated being on Newton. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells. It’s kind of a feeling out process. Once classes start and you start seeing a lot more people, you’ll feel more engaged. Early in the semester, you can go to the Dustbowl (OK, the Campus Green) for activities day and see the many clubs on campus. No one wants to admit feeling uncomfortable - it’s a sign of weakness and we can’t have that! Many other people surely feel the same way you do. Hang in there. It really will get much better. Welcome aboard!
@bminster2020:
What you expressed in your post is definitely not unique to you and it applies to any college. I guarantee that many around you are going through the exact same concerns. It is real and you will get through it.
You’re transitioning from a high school environment where you had many longtime friends, to one where you instantly have hundreds of acquaintances. It takes time for some of those acquaintances to turn into long time friends.
@collegecarla, above, gave you some valuable input. I wholeheartedly agree that the clubs and programs at BC are a godsend.
You’ve been there for 2 days…you are freaking out too early. Classes haven’t even started yet…cut yourself some slack, no one has met their lifelong best friend at this point. The good thing about Newton is that you will see the same people over and over on the bus and in Stu. It’s easier to talk to them bc you know they’re freshmen in the same situation as you. Guys may be acting like bro’s bc they think they’re supposed to. I’m sure there’s someone on your floor you can be friends with. It’s ok to be worried but relax and be yourself. You will find your people.
Dear bminster2020 : The first 48-72 hours as a freshman on campus, whether Newton or Upper, can be the loneliest time of your entire Boston College career. Nothing is familiar, your dorm room is filled with tons of new stuff (not really your stuff from home), getting to a meal sounds like a chore, where is the bus on main campus … and you have not even had to do your first load of wash yet. It’s hard … and it will get better quickly.
Hopefully, you have started classes over the last 24 hours. That starts the connection. Maybe you have had a meal or two with a new acquaintance. If you are unsure, ask someone from the dorm - everyone is feeling the same sense of uncertainty.
The campus will be somewhat quieter this weekend than a normal Labor Day weekend with the football team plying their trade overseas. See what folks are doing to enjoy the last weekend of summer. Newton Campus is great for social activities - hang outside and just watch to start if you prefer!
My biggest recommendation for you : be sure to stay outside of your dorm room as much as possible. Do not get holed up which will only keep your mind whirling. Get out into the sunshine, see people, explore the campus, start your classwork. In other words, keep taking control, step by step, as you work your way through the first week. You will absolutely succeed.
Please do NOT hesitate to ask for help - either here or with the office of the First Year Experience. They are NOT there for show. They will really help you in every phase of your transition to college. Although Joe Marchese is not longer leading the program, his protoge, Liz Bracher, has a decade of experience in the program. Her team is exceptional. The links are below.
While it is easy for me to say “it will be OK”, please hang in there … because … it will be OK. As hard as it is to believe, the semester will be over before you realize it and this will all be in your rear view mirror.
My daughter lived on Upper Campus last year and she never “bonded” with her hall mates at all, so don’t fear that this is something unique to Newton. Her roommate was a nightmare and her hall mates mostly kept to themselves (she was in substance free housing). That said, she did make tons of friends (through her campus activities) and had an amazing first year. It takes time. I suggest you check out 48HOURS. It looks like a great First Year experience!
Go Eagles!