We're picking up the pieces, but what went wrong?

Parents Forum
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<p>Andi, </p>

<p>I'm a high school senior. I'm really shocked to see such bright/talented kids rejected and waitlisted. I saw it with my friends this year and I was just flabbergasted. </p>

<p>I'm guessing his results had less to do with the quality of him as a person and the quality of his application than his having a "hook." It seems like people who got into these schools had some sort of "hook" in their applications that they emphasized and emphasized, so that the admissions committee would remember the person better.</p>

<p>That's what I did, and I did very well with admissions. I was not a National Merit scholar, I play no sports, I do no music, I have no national awards (regional though), I do no art, I do no student government. I have one achievement in community service that was enticing, I suppose, and my essays were very well developed. Is your son probably more intelligent, more talented than I am? Yes. </p>

<p>So don't feel down, it really came down to the admissions game. I would suggest, if you wish, to take a gap year and focus on creating some sort of hook for your applications. </p>

<p>I think Northstarmom is being very supercilious, especially at a time like this, to suggest that these results were "his fault" for not showing a lot of interest in his essays and attitude to the midwestern schools. I am sure he's a great kid and he just didn't play the game right. No biggie. He'll do great in life. I can't imagine how I'd feel if this happened to me, but I hope your son doesn't think his results were because he was dumb or anything like that. As a suburban well-rounded kid, I would guess that he simply didn't have a hook. </p>

<p>I wish you the best of luck.</p>

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<p>I have been reading these message boards for months, but have never posted anything -- mostly because I felt that so much of this was about trying to get figure out the right formula for "success." But Andi's post confirmed what I sort of suspected: there's a real random element to the whole thing. </p>

<p>It helps to remember that admission to a great college isn't the finish line -- or even close. Andi's son sounds like a really neat intellectually engaged kid. I think kids like that ultimately end up getting what they truly deserve, even if the path there isn't as smooth as they'd hoped.</p>

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<p>Back to the cd issue and supplemental material in general, just to correct some of the info. Yale discourages extra stuff, but the others accept it as long as you follow their very specific guidelines. Stanford DOES take cds or tapes -- if you plan to pursue music as an activity in college. They have guidelines on their music department webpage. And I know their music department listens to them. Columbia does not want resumes, but it does accept certain supplemental material, including CDs. Harvard"s attitude seems pretty much "give us your best shot." Examples of extra material they suggest are an optional extra essay and a list of all books read in the past year, and they also consider CDs as well as a reasonable number of extra rec letters.</p>

<p>Andi, if your son does take a gap year and then applies again, an advantage of sending a CD is that then he can use his essays to reveal something else about himself besides his passion for music that will help him stand out. (By the way, Columbia admit stats are out today and it was the most competitive year ever -- 10.4% acceptance rate -- not that that helps much, I know.)</p>

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<p>Eek--sorry, Fiske calls Cooper Union "free education" but of course it isn't free to live in NYC, is it? Still 18000 seems really high. NYU is about $11000 room and board, on or off campus. Why so much more for Cooper Union?</p>

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<p>I should repost my "Advice to CC Parents Thread." One bit of VERY STRONG advice:</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=31642%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=31642&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>"**Apply to at least one college choice that has rolling admissions. **It's amazing how much pressure is relieved with at least one admission in hand early. I'm not being naive; of course, there's tremendous anticipation when you're waiting for word from schools higher up the list. But believe me on this one."</p>

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<p>anyone have some good lines for what to say to the curious friends and neighbors who ask where s is going to be going to school, when I run into them in town??
Let's hear from some of them with good senses of humor--I know you're out there. :)</p>

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<p>No story needed andi. I would just tell them the truth, that he's on tour, opening for "Three Doors Down".</p>

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<p>Andi--I don't know any good lines, but one of S's friends refused to tell anyone where he was going. He eventually got off the waitlist for Chicago (just like my S) and THEN he told people where he was going. He also then said he had been admitted to UCSC, but I guess it was his unloved safety school . . . his way of dealing with it was to just keep quiet. It's so hard for these kids when everyone around them seems to be celebrating!</p>

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<p>Curmudge, we're channeling again - that's one of my family's favorite groups - those guys are local for us.</p>

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<p>Tell them the truth. He has too many choices to know yet.</p>

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<p>Thanks!! This could become my new past time - collecting new answers. I mean everytime I run into someone they don't even ask how I'm feeling - it's where is _____ going to school? There's only so many times I can go thru this saga.</p>

<p>Keep those answers coming....this could be another important thing for CC parents to learn.</p>

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<p>I would just be honest and state "I haven't decided yet, but I will let you know once I have made my decision." and then move on...</p>

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<p>Andi: you are submitting the "From the Top" CD to all waitlist schools, are you not???? Your son really should!!! And did the GC call the waitlist schools? I've got my fingers crossed for your son to get into one of his waitlist schools. (Because gap years may be great, but summer is long enough for most kids to destress before starting college, and it can be difficult to gear up for applying to schools a second time... )</p>

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<p>I'm sorry; I tried to think of a snappy answer and couldn't come up with one. The old Dear Abbey or Miss Manners answer to a personal question you don't want to respond to -- "And just why do you want to know that?" -- would be really weird. So I would just suggest, "He's still considering his options."</p>

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<p>Andi, he is on three waitlists, right? So technically he's still waiting to hear and not yet decided. ??</p>

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<p>Yeah, we're launching a campaign! I could get a job as campaign manager for the next presidential candidate after this!!!</p>

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<p>We are in similar position as Andi's S, although not at the same level of competitiveness. </p>

<p>Although it is only helpful for the ego, would you elaborate on what you have heard /read re this being 'the most competitive year in US colleges' history.' Parents are noticeably less chatty about this stage of the process and any stats or even a sense of the wait lists or rejections will help us move on to embrace the safeties.</p>

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<p>On soaring applications and increasing competition in admissions</p>

<p>"College admission officers across most of the nation report the same news: The number of applicants is rising, making admission more competitive.</p>

<p>Why Are Applications Increasing?
The increase comes from a surge in births during the 1980s. Children of the baby boomers are coming of age. Experts predict applications will continue to rise faster than openings at most colleges through about 2010.</p>

<p>"Most schools are a little more selective than they were maybe 10 years ago," says Joan Isaac-Mohr, Vice President and Dean of Admissions at Quinnipiac University in Connecticut. This can mean more pressure for students and parents going through the application process.</p>

<p>Benefits of Increased Selectivity
There's a silver lining. As Isaac-Mohr points out, increased selectivity means better students are going to all colleges, broadening the choice of schools with a high-achieving student population.</p>

<p>Ann Wright, Vice President for Enrollment at Rice University in Texas, agrees. "There are lots of schools where students can be happy and successful," she says. Both experts encourage students and parents to consider a range of schools, rather than focusing on a single institution." <a href="http://www.collegeboard.com/parents/article/0,3708,706-708-0-21348,00.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.collegeboard.com/parents/article/0,3708,706-708-0-21348,00.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>"March 30, 2001</p>

<p>College Admissions: The New Safety Schools </p>

<p>The Wall Street Journal
Copyright (c) 2001, Dow Jones & Company, Inc.</p>

<p>THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
WEEKEND JOURNAL </p>

<p>By Elizabeth Bernstein </p>

<p>When Demetrios Nicodimou was applying to colleges last year, he set his sights on super-selective Ivy League schools. But the A-student with strong board scores also hedged his bets with what he assumed were safety schools: Boston University and New York University. </p>

<p>So where is he now? Fordham. </p>

<p>"It was like someone died in our family," says his mother, Hellas, when Demetrios was rejected not only at two Ivies but at the two backups as well. "We were 150% sure he'd get in." </p>

<p>Remember the time-honored list of so-called safety schools that top students used to fall back on? Well, throw those names out. With competition for college more intense than ever, these students have a new problem: The old safeties have become unattainable too. </p>

<p>In startling numbers, kids who only a few years ago had a fighting chance for the Ivies aren't even getting wait-listed at what used to be considered second-tier schools. Instead of the Vassars and Swarthmores of the world, they're scrambling for spots in a new -- and not always head-turning -- list of backups...." <a href="http://www.slu.edu/pr/releases/0330c01.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.slu.edu/pr/releases/0330c01.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>I'm usually good with the one liners, but daylight savings time has seriously effected my cerebral functioning. Anyway, I'd say, "He hasn't decided yet."</p>

<p>All these waitlists reminds me that I was waitlisted at my first two choices (one Ivy) and rejected at my third choice (LAC). This was over 30 years ago when this was unheard of, especially since I was in the top 5% of my class and over 10% of my class went on to Ivys. I ended up getting off of both waitlists and never though about it much until now.</p>

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<p>Andi, </p>

<p>I'm really sorry. The college admissions process can be quite harsh, especially when one gets rejected. I know, I speak from experience. Although your son didn't get into his choice schools, I'm sure that he is a highly intelligent and qualified individual. </p>

<p>However, I do have a question for you---Did your son show a genuine interest in the schools that he applied to? Colleges are continously putting more emphasis on having shown genuine interest in their school. More and more schools are waitlisting and rejecting highly qualified candidates because they didn't show enough interest in the school.</p>