Were You Accepted-or Denied-by a "Dream" College & How Do You View It With Hindsight?

<p>Thank you sooo much haavain, Of all the posts on this thread I copied and pasted your post and emailed it to my daughter. Thank you for your wisdom!!! Today my daughter feels a little better and agreed to apply to a couple of more reach schools as she feels anyway she has safeties now she has nothing to lose. Her grades in senior year is climbing so I hope adcoms see that. My daughter is a very unique girl, very very passionate about writing, she is an amazing writer, she worked for scholastic as a kid reporter at 14, interviewd late Ed Bradley from CBS among others and interned as a reporter at our regional newspaper where her work was published on a daily basis and also she was one of the 20 kids selected all over the world for a summer writing workshop and EIC of school newspaper. But she had a bad freshman year but she has redeemed herself by getting over 3.9 GPA but her average is slightly lower because of freshman year. She does not want to give excuses for her freshman grades in her essays as she is very modest and does not like to lie. She feels it was her maturity level. Now her senior year grades are afloat. She is very reserved, very honest and does not like to flaunt. Very hard to get through her. As a parent it is hard to watch your kid stay behind just because of immaturity during her early teens. I just hope one of her RD schools reviews her application holistically and sees her for what she is capable of.
Once again thanks for your insight, Haavain.</p>

<p>My friends and I discuss this all the time. Are dream schools “worth it”? One of my friends completely disagrees with the idea of laying out 50,000$ per year to attend a dream school. Other friends of mine(including myself) believe that we don’t want all of our hard work going to waste, that we easily could have put in half the effort and still gotten into a safety/state school. I had three “dream schools”- not sure if I’d call either one a dream over the other… They were just three schools that I could have completely seen myself at. Well, I got deferred from Georgetown EA, and accepted to Boston College and Villanova. I honestly could not be happier. It really is nice to know that four years of AP classes, being called a nerd jokingly by my peers who are in more average classes, extracurriculars and staying after hours to help out, studying, pointless projects, essays, competition for grades has finally paid off. This is why we all work so hard. For that moment of acceptance. It’s what four years comes down to. But rejection is terrible. It makes you doubt yourself, makes you wonder if you really are good enough for these top schools that you applied to. When i got deferred from Georgetown, I wasn’t upset at first. But when all of my friends started getting into their dream schools, I kept thinking “why not ME?!” and then the depression kicked in. It’s easy to get so absorbed in your own accomplishments that you forget how may kids out there are like you: stellar grades, spectacular leadership and academic awards, incredible essays. When you apply to your dream school, the decision really is out of your control. We all must must MUST get that idea though our heads. We busted our BUTTS and did all we could in high school. We stayed after school for National Honor Society meetings and stayed up until 4am doing an essay. But we did EVERYTHING in our capacity to succeed. Sometimes acceptance rates are low, an admissions officer is not in a good mood that day, whatever. Because if THIS college doesn’t like you, someone else WILL! :)</p>

<p>My dream college is the large state university (just out of state, haha). I got deferred (back when UVA had ED) and it crushed me, but somehow I was accepted in April. I had wanted to go UVA “since I was, like, 5.” They have this top-ten five year masters teaching program.</p>

<p>In hindsight, any school would have been great for me. But UVA is perfect. :)</p>

<p>I did really appreciate having applied to a local rolling decision school. When I got deferred, I still felt wanted there (especially being admitted to the honors university). I did know I wanted to go to a big school, which this local school wasn’t, so I wonder how that would have worked out for me. The other two schools I applied to would have been good, too, but each had something that UVA could top – for instance, W&M was way too small for me in hindsight, and Vanderbilt was very far away from home. I’m glad everything worked out for me, but I would have made things work anywhere, or else transferred.</p>

<p>I have a friend who also wanted to go to UVA, but out of state did not have the grades (and he knew it). He went to a DC school and hated it, and managed to transfer to UVA after his first year. He had given me his UVA lanyard and I told him I would give it back to him if he transferred. It was great to give it back to him when his dream came true. He did really well at UVA and even got into the business/commerce program (competitive here, especially as a transfer).</p>

<p>Here’s my perspective, coming from a family with four kids; the first three each were accepted to their first-choice school ED or EA (the fourth is in middle school):</p>

<ol>
<li>It’s a crap shoot, so luck plays a part</li>
<li>Need the requisite competitive standardized test scores, GPA, etc.-be realistic about this</li>
<li>Have one or two EC’s that you pursue for 4+ years, and leverage (see #4) the interest as many ways as possible (start by 8-9th grade)</li>
<li>Craft the application in such a way as to highlight the predominant EC’s (ex. instruments played, composing, performing, teaching, and mentoring re:music)</li>
<li>Don’t apply for financial aid unless necessary</li>
<li>Make contact with the ED/EA school’s regional rep. a couple of times only; ask questions and then send thank-you e-mails</li>
</ol>

<p>My oldest applied to one ED school and was accepted; my second applied to three EA schools and was accepted to all three (inc. MIT); my third was just accepted ED (to Penn). This doesn’t make us experts, just experienced and fortunate.</p>

<p>I was wait listed at most schools that interested me, but was accepted at a top liberal arts school and a top 5 business school. I was ecstatic until I received the financial aid letter, threw a desk chair out a window, and have felt lousy ever since. College Confidential has made me see nothing but flaws in my safety school and I am trying to transfer. 2010 has seriously been a terrible year and I am glad that it is ending.</p>

<p>Moral: although you may never be perfectly happy at your “dream” school, you will certainly be less happy at your safety.</p>

<p>My “dream” college, which as it turned out I’m glad I didn’t get into, was Johns Hopkins. I was actually waiting for a lung surgery last December, laying in a hospital bed when I was deferred ED. I was honestly really upset at the time, but I moved on and wrote them a letter hoping I would be accepted RD. Again, I was rejected RD, but I got into UCLA, Berkeley, Vanderbilt, Emory, and Georgetown. I ended up choosing between Vanderbilt and Georgetown, both of which offered me full rides, and I chose Georgetown. It was quite honestly, the best decision I have ever made. I am enjoying Georgetown completely, and while it is certainly not easy, especially being Pre-med in the NHS school, it is still worth it. The atmosphere is amazing at Georgetown. While it isn’t cut-throat, it still pushes you very very hard but then the weekend makes up for it since you have mostly free time as long as you stay on track during the week.</p>

<p>Anybody who got into their dream school and ended up not liking it?</p>

<p>I applied to Brown and was deferred. I am not going to attend. In hindsight, if I wanted to break into the big finance industry it would have been a boon, but I like saving money by going in-state.</p>

<p>When I was applying this time last year, there were only 3 places I really saw myself. Out of the 18 apps I sent in (I needed to play the field), I only really thought I belonged at Notre Dame, Princeton, or Rice. When Princeton rejected me, I had more or less Notre Dame, Rice, Vanderbilt and UVA to choose from. </p>

<p>UVA was too expensive, and my Vandy visit wasn’t that great (although it was the cheapest by far), leaving Notre Dame or Rice. </p>

<p>I visited Rice for Owl Days, and had a bittersweet impression. The academics were everything I wanted, the campus was beautiful, the parties were fun, and Houston was fantastic. However, I had a sneaking suspicion that I didn’t really fit in there. There was an awkward vibe that pervaded even the most liquored up of undergrads at the mixer parties I went to. </p>

<p>I went to Notre Dame the next week, and when I walked on campus I felt at home. It was beautiful, I was in the Honors Program, and I’d been an Irish fan since I was 10 years old. I canceled my overnight visit because I was convinced it would be where I would go to school the next four years. However, I went to their financial aid office to try and haggle my package (it was over 50% more a year than Rice and nearly double Vandy at that point) and was treated very coldly, despite having legitimate reasons for a reconsideration (that Rice quickly responded to positively). </p>

<p>As I turned the decision over in my mind those final few days, I ultimately chose Rice over Notre Dame because of the money, and my fear of an overly Catholic campus. </p>

<p>While I’m having a relatively great time at Rice, am doing well, and have made friends…Not a day goes by when I don’t wonder what could have been. Did I make the right decision? I’m not sure.</p>

<p>If you, too, had a “dream” college, how did it work out for you?
I didnt know much about colleges when applying. All I knew was Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT and how people who went there were successful, happy, etc. I didnt even know what programs each of these schools had. I was rejected by all (YaleSCEA deferred, then rejected, Harvard waitlisted, then rejected). Felt pretty bad for a couple minutes. I was like, “Oh god, I am not going to get anywhere in life, etc.” Sometimes I did dream about these colleges, but mine was a different story. I got an award from Yale for engineering at a science fair, which was quite prestigious. That really got my hopes up. My best application was to Yale. I spent countless hours trying to leverage that award.</p>

<p>A few minutes later, I log on to Penn’s decision site and see that I got in.</p>

<p>If denied, have you been able to be happy elsewhere?
In hindsight, I am glad I was rejected from Yale. I only learned about the culture of the other ivies once I got to Penn. The academic program in unparalleled here. It really has opened doors to many opportunities that I thought I would never have. I am now doing a dual degree in Wharton and the Engineering school. The job outlook is a big plus here especially with financial firms.
Life here is really good. Philly is not too far away from home, and I’ve been involved in a few clubs that really provide balance btwn work and fun.</p>

<p>I was accepted to Princeton, one of my dream schools. It’s definitely a lot harder than I expected…acing high school and graduating #1 without any effort did not prepare me well for working hard to maintain a B+ average. Overall, I’m satisfied, especially with the financial aid here. </p>

<p>In hindsight, if I were not accepted to Princeton, I would’ve attended Washington & Lee on the Johnson Scholarship (full ride to a private LAC). I probably would’ve been happy there (full ride lol) and doing very well academically. In fact, sometimes I regret my decision on not accepting the Johnson Scholarship…</p>

<p>DENIED. sigh , so life goes</p>

<p>keep us updated parkrunner…im sure there are great acceptances out there for you.</p>

<p>i personally have not had the experience of getting rejected by my dream school, but i also haven’t heard from unc yet, so who knows what will happen. </p>

<p>that being said, one of my good friends always wanted to go to one school. that was the only school she had ever talked about and she’s wanted to go their since freshman year, it’s where her dad went, we all thought it was perfect for her etc. actually, it was the only school she even applied to until she got deferred. </p>

<p>she found out about 3 weeks ago that she was deferred and she was in bad shape for about a day or two. but, she realized she didn’t have time to mope around because there was nothing she could do about the situation but try to think positively. in hind site, she was a good match for the school, but it was a reach. college admissions is a crap shoot and sometimes things don’t work out, but that doesn’t mean that another school wouldn’t love to have your daughter. there is nothing that your daughter can do about getting rejected, so just encourage her to focus on how much fun she will have at any of the other schools she’s bound to be accepted to.</p>

<p>my friend is now applying to 9 schools, all very different from the one she thought was her “dream school.” it turns out that dreams change, and even though you are sure you want one thing one moment, you can be just as happy or happier at another place as long as you make a decision to be happy. in a month or so, i might just be in your daughter’s circumstance, and while it will be exceptionally hard to bear (i’m not pretending it will be easy), i also know that as long as i put my mind to it i can be equally as happy at every other school i’ve applied to. the vast majority of students love the college they go to, whether it was their dream school or not. most colleges are what you make of them.</p>

<p>Carolinagirl- Thank you for your advice, my daughter is feeling slightly better now. I guess since around the 15th a lot of ED/EA came out and everyone in school was talking about where they got in she was depressed. Now everyone has calmed down and focusing on other things than college she is feeling better and has agreed to apply to other schools but has decided if she does not get in she is go to her safeties and try it out, if not she will transfer so all in calm in my house…atleast till April 1st. All the best in your college journey. As a mother I wish all kids dreams come true.</p>

<p>If you, too, had a “dream” college, how did it work out for you?
I started making my college list pretty early in junior year. I had been interested in different universities for a few years by then, knowing a bit about schools like the ivies and others like Johns Hopkins, Northwestern, and UChicago. Now that I think back, I find it definitely odd that while I knew that I wanted to go to a top school, I really only ever remember consciously picturing myself at a few schools, Columbia, Hopkins, Yale, and Penn. The latter I had heard about quite a bit but didn’t really know that much about. So when I officially made my college list, I found out a lot about Penn that made it become my “dream school”. I even did a summer program there and got to know the campus pretty well. Although I knew it would be a reach, especially since there happened to be quite a few applying that year, I applied early decision. And despite my overwhelming feeling that I would be deferred, I was accepted in December.</p>

<p>If accepted, did it turn out to be everything you’d hoped for?
Penn has been everything I have hoped for and more. While being a college freshman still has many challenges (finding your crowd, the occasional clique, roommate troubles, finding balance and relaxation, things not unique to any school) , Penn has really helped me grow as a person. Academically it’s perfect, I have so many opportunities here, especially in research which is something I will definitely take advantage of. The faculty is great and there are a ton of classes and activities that I look forward to in the future. There are so many different activities and events going on, there is always something to do on campus. I have met a lot of different people from different backgrounds whom I have been able to connect with, my friends as a group are a lot more diverse than they were in high school. I’ve also been able to follow the motto “work hard, play hard” and have been able to go out and have a good time after I finish my work, something that I never really did in high school. I am incredibly excited for second semester, I think my classes will be excellent, I’ll be starting to do work in a lab, and I look forward to meeting more people and becoming closer with friends I met during first semester.</p>

<p>I got deferred from the University of Chicago with a 34 on the ACT; makes me realize why I love playing Call of Duty: Blackops so much. I foresee more ak-47 action in my future and less college-related time sinks.</p>

<p>This is a fun question. I graduated with middling grades (not on this website, I mean literally middling, I had a C+ average, I think I finished HS with a 2.8-2.9) and I was resigned to just go to community college for my pre-reqs and transfer to somewhere within the state system after the first two years. It would be cheap and efficient. So I get through with my first semester at GPC (Georgia Perimeter College) and I want to commit ritualistic suicide. It was the most absolutely miserable year of my life, so I start looking into colleges again, the ones that I wanted to to go in the first place and decided against 'cause cost was prohibitive and I thought my grades were way too awful for them. I was really interested in the little north eastern LACs, and looking for something really specific in academics: a lot of academic freedom, a great literature program and an education department. I found Bennington College, they had everything I was looking for I loved the vibe that I got from them (and I never even visited, to put into perspective how set I was). Bennington was the only school I applied to (I would have applied to Goucher but their funky transfer credit requirement left me a few credits shy, so I decided to apply there for spring transfer if Bennington rejected me). They didn’t, they gave me pretty great aid, so now I go to my dream school. It isn’t everything I could ever want in a college: going to a very small, underfunded school does have its disadvantages, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m at Bennington. And thanks to that academic freedom I’ve ended up changing my major (writing my plan in, as we would say at Bennington) from literature to biology.</p>

<p>my dream school was NYU Stern. i was so in love with that school because of every single facet.</p>

<p>In high school i was denied and went to a school that offered a huge financial aid package.</p>

<p>I went there with the intention of transferring to Stern after 1 year. Turns out I got a 4.0 in my first year while being active in many clubs.</p>

<p>Applied to Stern, Northwestern, Cornell, and UPenn</p>

<p>Was accepted to all and chose Cornell because of their AEM major.</p>

<p>I just finished my first semester at Cornell and I love it. In hindsight, i am glad i was rejected because now i go to an ivy league school for free and i will receive a AEM degree from a top 5 undergrad business school</p>

<p>Four years ago, I was applying to four colleges: a safety school, a great school that I randomly applied to because I got a brochure in the mail (and it looked really nice), a really top school which I knew I wouldn’t get into, and my dream school. My dream school was Northwestern, and I wanted to go there, no matter what.</p>

<p>Falling in love with only one school was a mistake. Especially one that’s pretty hard to get in to. I got rejected, and only got accepted to the safety and the random (but still really good) school. I was really devastated. I cried and cried for days!</p>

<p>I ended up going to the random school. My safety school was in-state, and I really wanted to get out and experience another sort of culture. So I flew across the country and have been here ever since. I never thought I’d have the amazing undergrad experience that I’ve had. I’ve switched majors about a million times, finally settled on something that I really love, and found people who I really connect with (not that I really “fit in” with my university as a whole, though).</p>

<p>I think my undergrad experience has been so great because I didn’t have any expectations from the random school. I knew it was good, but the only thing I looked forward to was “it’s different.” It certainly hasn’t been a perfect experience, but it hasn’t been a letdown, either.</p>