Were You Accepted-or Denied-by a "Dream" College & How Do You View It With Hindsight?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>interesting thread.</p>

<p>Daughter was really undecided on her potential major so choosing schools was difficult. Initially she wanted a mid size school–not a big university. She loved nearly every school that she toured yet all were really different. So there were no dream schools for her–she loved them all. She could not find a safety that she loved which really worried us.</p>

<p>She applied to 5 reaches and 1 just right school and got accepted at all but one reach where she was waitlisted.</p>

<p>Doing the spring visits and overnights were really essential in helping her to decide.Interacting with the student body is very different than taking a campus tour. She chose Cornell Engineering and loves it. She had been leaning toward another very good engineering school but had a disastrous visit there that really soured her on it. She is working really hard but loves the intellectual stimulation and the many new friends that she has made at Cornell. She is really glad she chose a big school and feels that some of the smaller schools that admitted her such as Dartmouth would be feel too small for her now.</p>

<p>I think that many students will find that they can be happy at several places. As a parent, I think its good to fall in love with schools in all 3 categories–reach, just right, and safety.</p>

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<p>I didn’t apply to my dream college as it was like wanting a unicorn(not a pony) for Christmas. </p>

<p>I</p>

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<p>@slightmanifesto

</p>

<p>my son did tons of work and has lower level schools on his radar, and I have wondered about this issue; but I think that all that work is not for naught even if you bagged lower game , if you will. You are bringing with you time managment and work ethic to bear whereever you go . So minimal effort = not good and not valuable in the long run.</p>

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<p>Several years ago, son was accepted to his dream school but could not afford to go there. In hindsight, it was a good thing. He went elsewhere and was very happy and succesful. He would not have enjoyed the campus culture at his dream school as much as he did at the school he attended. And as he approaches the end of his graduate schooling, we realize that it was really smart to not take on that large undergrad debt.</p>

<p>All’s well that ends well. If I could possibly let anxious hs seniors and their parents know this: Dreams are fluid - RELAX. I sure wish I did.</p>

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<p>I just spent an hour reading pretty much all the responses on this thread. I’m a senior in high school and I’ve pretty much finished applying to schools. My brother, who is one year older than I, went through a lot of what everyone else is posting. He got rejected to the Ivies he applied to, got accepted to UC Berkley and UCLA, but it was too expensive. He’s now at the state school. At first he was super depressed, but since starting he’s done great. He’s taking classes he enjoys and has aced all his finals this first semester.</p>

<p>It seems like he should be happy, but I think it is human nature to wonder “what if?” Over the winter break we had lunch with classmates of his from high school who ended up at WashU and Elon. I couldn’t help but notice that he was a little jealous of the fact that the classes they were talking about seemed more challenging and the atmosphere of each university seemed more lively. I just try to constantly remind him that he is smart and all he needs to do is use those smarts! Seriously, no matter where you end up I think you just have to make the most of it and things will turn out fine.</p>

<p>That’s the mindset I’ve had going into this whole college application thing. My parents can’t afford public schools outside of state, so it’s private schools with good financial aid for me. I took the “go big or go home” approach when it came to applying to colleges. 1 safety, 1 match and 7 reaches. I figure that no matter what school I get into or end up going to it is ultimately all up to me how much I take away from my undergraduate experience.</p>

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<p>cindy, what state school did your bro go to?</p>

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<p>S got in to his dream school (an academic reach for him) and is now looking at almost straight D’s this semester (soph). I guess we should be careful what we dream for, huh?</p>

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<p>^ Is that only because the work is too difficult for him, or are other factors involved?</p>

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<p>…</p>

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<p>I’ve just been reading over some posts in this board and they kind of make me sick. Sorry, I had to just preface with that. </p>

<p>IF YOU HAD A “DREAM” COLLEGE, HOW DID IT WORK OUT FOR YOU?</p>

<p>My dream colleges didn’t really work out for me. Dream colleges are for people who are 1) blessed with intelligence and 2) blessed with stability and safety during their high school years. The first part I like to think I had in the bag. The second part?</p>

<p>Growing up gay in a little town in Texas, you get picked on quite a bit. You know, stuff like being called “■■■■■■” all the time, getting physically harassed in athletics, even being made fun of by teachers… </p>

<p>The inevitable result (little did I foresee) was that going to my dream schools (i.e, the Ivies or Northwestern) wasn’t really going to be in the cards… </p>

<p>See, even though I scored higher on the SAT than anyone in the history of my high school (literally), other areas of my application were deficient. I had weak grades because I skipped class so often and even weaker extracurriculars because, well, I wasn’t going to win any school presidential elections and I kind of avoided sports so as not to get my ass kicked. (In retrospect, I guess I could have mentioned I was nominated for Homecoming Queen as a joke by kids in my class – perhaps that would have helped).</p>

<p>Anyway, that, coupled with the fact I’m a white male from a lower middle class household apparently made it super hard to compete in Ivy League application pools with legacies or upper middle class kids from Westchester County or wherever who literally have no problems in the world except whether so and so texted them back or whether they’re going to Vail or Aspen for winter holidays. </p>

<p>DO I REGRET THIS? </p>

<p>Yes. Do I wish every day that things had been different? Yes. Why? Because I don’t like to be judged. Because people like all of you are so utterly, disgustingly obsessed with school prestige that you’ve created a world where **** like where you go to school matters – and where people judge you and your intelligence and your abilities based on a resume point, based on the stupid bumper sticker you have on the back of your car. “Yale Alum” “Harvard Alum” etc. </p>

<p>You’ve created a world where people who grew up disadvantaged STILL can’t get ahead because they didn’t go to the right schools or whatever… </p>

<p>Incidentally, do any of you realize that judging people based on where they went to school is JUST as superficial and awful as judging people based on race, creed, class, sexuality, gender, or any other trait.</p>

<p>An education is not about the institution that you pay to LABEL YOURSELF WITH. It’s about the contents of your mind.</p>

<p>We live in a culture that values labels above what’s beneath, and it’s baffling to me, but even the supposedly smart ones are just as guilty. </p>

<p>So the next time one of you egotistical, self-absorbed ****<strong><em>s condescendingly mentions that you went to such and such school – or look down on someone who has a state school on their resume, guess what? It’s not necessarily because you’re any smarter or more capable than that person. It’s because you weren’t worried about survival when you were *</em></strong>ing FOURTEEN years old. Because you had parents that cared. Because you had hundreds, thousands of advantages over the people around you. None of which has to do with you, none of which make you a better person. Okay?</p>

<p>The whole elite college application enterprise is disgusting – a way to make a select few feel better about themselves because they can claim superiority over others based on where they go/went to school…</p>

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<p>“^ Is that only because the work is too difficult for him, or are other factors involved?”</p>

<p>I think that the general pool of his peers is extraordinarily bright, motivated and superbly prepared for the rigors of an engineering curriculum. He, while bright, never really had to work that hard for his grades so his study skills aren’t as good and it’s one thing to be the “smartest kid in your HS” a whole different thing to be one of many smart kids in college. Bottom line is that he will have to dig deep and push through this - his perseverance will be determined by how badly he wants it, not something he has ever had to do before.</p>

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<p>^ Good luck to your son. Determination is often more important than talent itself. One might be surprised at the higher capacity he has when challenged.</p>

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<p>dream school was wharton or harvard. Got into wharton, waitlisted at Harvard. Could not have been happier</p>

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<p>^^^ I see. I hope all ends well.</p>

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<p>My son applied to 11 schools hoping to get accepted to just one. He applied early action to Massachusetts College of Pharmacy thinking he’d be turned down and hoping for regular decision. He got the early action acceptance letter two weeks ago and couldn’t be happier!</p>

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<p>Son walked into the MIT museum at the age of 8 and decided that was the school for him. Luckily, he was accepted – although deferred during Early Action. He had a wonderful undergrad experience and continued on for grad school experience (PhD) doing extremely interesting research. For him the entire experience was nirvana.</p>

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<p>amodeluniverse:
It really shows how messed up society can be when an entire school, even faculty, can persecute someone just for being gay. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, and I hope that life hasn’t been as difficult for you since then (:
However, I don’t think you should be putting down others for what they’ve worked hard to achieve. Yes, some of the students going to Ivies and other elite colleges are upper middle class, and have had stable lives. But there are many others of lower and middle class (though even rich have serious issues) who have experienced hardships and suffered throughout school. To many, colleges are all about the name, but for these students, attending their dream schools isn’t a matter of prestige or superiority – it’s the chance to receive a great education, and grow intellectually and socially. Of course, they can receive this at other non-Ivy-esque colleges (including state schools) if they have the drive, but why should they turn down their dream college?
Not everyone who goes to elite colleges have had advantages over others, and merely used them – many overcome disadvantages, and their journeys HAVE made them better people.
Don’t assume that all who get into their dream college are spoiled kids who’ve never had a care in the world. It’s insulting to those who have worked their ass off to get where they are today.</p>

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<p>^agreed, and amodeluniverse i hope things are better for you where you are now. only you can determine your future, not a college degree.</p>

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<p>If you, too, had a “dream” college, how did it work out for you?</p>

<p>My dream school was Yale. I worked my hardest all four years to get in and did everything I possibly could have to boost my app. I even skipped my Christmas gift from '09 because I begged my mom to take me to an interview with admissions the Summer before senior year (we’re more than 800 miles away). I got rejected and still to this day I feel crushed. Yale had everything I was looking for in a school and I regret that I’m not there.</p>

<p>If accepted, did it turn out to be everything you’d hoped for?</p>

<p>Skip</p>

<p>If denied, have you been able to be happy elsewhere?</p>

<p>Yes. I ended up at JWU for my freshman year and I start at UIUC for my sophomore year onwards. JWU was amazing. I met awesome people, became a RA, fell in love, had amazing rommates, got to travel around a beautiful and safe city and basically was living in a fairy tale. I know Yale would’ve been 7,000 times more better, but I made lemonade. I hope UIUC can top JWU !!!</p>

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<p>amodeluniverse:</p>

<p>While I sympathize with your situation, you are completely, completely wrong to assume that everyone attending an elite school had no problems getting there. Elite schools are filled with people from disadvantaged backgrounds, many probably worse than yours, and they managed to work through it and not blame some imaginary college full of rich people who care only about superficial things. Such a place does not exist.</p>

<p>That said, you do not need to attend an elite college to have an amazing and successful life. Best of luck to you.</p>