I’m starting at a school this fall with a pretty big greek scene. I’m just wondering if frat boys etc are really as bad as everyone makes them out to be. Also a friend of mine told me that I should never wear skirts to them…why is that?
Imagine 200 drunken underage students crammed into a dance floor taking shots of cheap liquor while EDM/ hip hop plays in the background. Many of them are grinding on either brothers or dancing with their friends. Upstairs, some people are playing beer pong, others are outside smoking weed. Typically a pledge is at the door checking to see if the people who want to attend are attractive females. Any male has to be a friend of one of the brothers to come in.
Greek life is pretty different at every school. It’s sill to make blanket statements about “frat boys”. @whenhen 's description is pretty accurate regarding a typical Greek party at a school where Greek life is prevalent, though some schools have much tighter regulations on what goes on at parties. Still, they’re going to be centered on intoxicated students dancing to a DJ or live band, kinda like a club scene.
Thanks for the responses! I watch the news and everything and I know what awful things happen to some girls, but is that the norm or just the exceptions?
Obviously the vast majority of frat brothers are not sexual predators, or all frats would have been shut down by now. You should be fine wearing a skirt or dress. That said, watch out for yourself and your friends. A good rule of thumb is to leave with the same people you came with, because no one should have to walk home drunk or be in an uncomfortable/dangerous situation.
They vary a lot depending on the fraternity and the school. @whenhen’s description could be accurate for most traditional large universities with a residential Greek system, but the parties can be very different if the fraternity doesn’t have a house or how big the fraternity is. There was one fraternity on my grad school campus that was co-ed and didn’t allow alcohol at their parties at all, which obviously makes their parties very different (at the one I checked ahead of time, they were having live music!). The ones at my undergrad didn’t have houses, so they had their parties at local clubs - so no pledges checking at the door, no upstairs, anyone in the college community was invited as long as they paid (although friends of the brothers could get in faster/for free) and no EDM, lol. I went to an HBCU, too, so the sororities also threw parties at local clubs and venues.
Not wearing a skirt or dress is not going to protect you from sexual assault, so that’s a ludicrous suggestion. Any young person worried about sexual assault at a college party (regardless of whether it’s a Greek party or not) should travel with friends, respect her drinking limits (keep it to one drink an hour, drink 4 or fewer drinks total, don’t drink anything blue, drink lots of water in between, eat beforehand, and never leave your drink unattended or get a new one if you do), make sure all of your friends stay together and leave if things start to get wild/uncomfortable. And if it is in a fraternity house, it’s probably better not to go upstairs.
A bunch of underage drinking and careless sex. That’s why my school is ranked top 5 in stds in my state.
Lots of C2H5OH diluted with water and flavorings.
Boring.
Ear-piercing boom box.
Occasionally makes you wonder why they are even paying to go to school.
Just make sure you always go with a group of friends and never by yourself. I would say don’t even go with just one other person, because if you get separated from them then you’re all alone.
Some frat parties are pretty lame and sort of silly when you really think about them, as per the description in post #1. But it’s definitely possible to have fun at them. I’ve found that parties at your friends’ apartments or houses are more fun than frat parties with hundreds of strangers, but that’s just my personal opinion. No shame in enjoying them!
They treat cigarette smoking like it’s 1960. The whole thing smells like a giant ashtray.
It depends on the school, but the average kegger can get pretty rowdy. Don’t expect premium alcohol, deep conversations, or cleanliness. That being said, frat parties can be ok if you just want to cut loose and get drunk.
My advice is to go to frat parties if you want, but don’t forget that most schools also have house parties, bars, and other venues to drink (as well as places where you can have fun sober). Explore, have fun, but always remember to go with friends and use common sense.
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Also keep in mind that there’s a huge difference between an open and closed frat party in terms of the overall atmosphere. My description of a stereotypical frat party, which as @juliet pointed out is probably more true of larger schools with more traditional greek scenes, is one of an open frat party. At ones where you have to know the hosts to get know about the party and get in, they’re often much quieter, more conversation driven, and frankly more relaxed. Since the frat isn’t trying to provide alcohol for hundreds of people, the quality of the booze is also often much higher.
@whenhen seems like she’s given the most accurate response on this entire thread. I will add on that the aforementioned closed parties are generally fraternity/sorority mixers, but yes, they’re about actually getting to know other people. The reason we’ll throw an open banger isn’t to have deep conversations; it’s partially to let loose, have some drinks (if you want), and dance, and partially a PR strategy for rush.
Let’s be honest for a minute, the “frat boy” stereotype is played up in movies and the mainstream media. It’s not like you are going to get sexually assaulted by stepping into a fraternity house. There are obviously bad apples, but the overwhelming majority of fraternities want to make sure everyone is having a fun and safe time. I have personally kicked kids out of my fraternity’s parties because we saw them acting sketchy, or we got a complaint from a girl that said as much. And I don’t want to sound like I’m victim blaming, but when you hear a 5’1", 90 pound freshman girl say that she got roofied at XYZ fraternity, the most likely event is that she had no idea what her alcohol limits were, drank two Solo cups of hunch punch, and browned out.
Just don’t do anything stupid, and you’ll have lots of fun; other posters have given good advice.
/highhorse
Saying that someone blacked out because they didn’t know their limits vs. being roofied is not victim blaming unless you think that makes the former less of a victim than the latter.
I’d say for a smaller greek scene (I know that’s not the OP’s question but others might be curious) the only part of whenhen’s description that’s not applicable is the whole “need to know a brother to get in” or “the only males let in are brothers.” Otherwise it’s pretty much identical minus the drinking games. We only have that happening during our smaller parties because otherwise people get too spread out and it gets too hard to manage. The safety/management level at Brown is typically higher than larger schools since our houses are campus buildings and we have university rules we have to follow which includes allowing university officials into the party if they want to check it out. In fact, by just following the rules that Brown requires of us, our chapter won our org’s risk management award two years in a row (and we only stopped winning because they didn’t want us monopolizing the award - always thought that was unfair) and got a reduction in our contribution to the fraternity insurance premium which meant less of our dues going to our national office. We were able to buy a new 65" TV for the house with the extra money one year. Was a great motivator for good party management: “See that TV, that’s our reward for good party management”