<p>Rorosen fan here, as well. One of the few CCers whose posts often warrant an exegesis, but well worth the extra effort.</p>
<p>TheGFG, thanks for the clarification. It sounded like you were classifying your friends and neighbors as people on the "lower branches" because they weren't supportive of your son's college choice. I'm glad to know you were merely employing a clever literary device. There is also value, both at CC and in your dealings with your friends and neighbors, with directly telling people what you said in post #1856, e.g., "That bothers me when you do __________."</p>
<p>SBMom, sounds EXACTLY like where I live, except that they don't know what HYPS is, either. Yes,has to be a big sports school or State. Amherst? Williams? Swarthmore? what's THAT? Ha! ( Don't they read Newsweek or Time? Apparently, not)</p>
<p>I'm getting the impression that just by having the name of an ivy league college on your RESUME means that you will be richer than everyone else</p>
<p>DRJ4 and all: What response would you recommend for the type of comments I'm receiving? I supppose the "It bothers me when you________" might be appropriate for someone who persists in making nasty remarks. Currently the only person in that category is my mother. I tried an "I message" on her at our Memorial Day picnic when she harped on the topic of Ivy prestige being baseless. I'll let you know if it worked. But, reacting to the one-time commentors in that way would make me look a little silly I think. As I mentioned in a previous post, I usually just tell them that it sounds like they made a great choice for their child, and then compliment their child's school.</p>
<p>TheGFG,</p>
<p>I occasionally talk to people who question our son's college choice. I think it's interesting to find out why: Do they have a favorite college they feel is better? Do they have an objection to his college choice based on a personal or family experience? Simply put, ask them "Why did you say that?"</p>
<p>Perhaps your mother and others are worried about how much money it takes to go to an Ivy League college, so any negativity stems from concern rather than dislike of your son's choice. In any event, rather than take their comments as criticism (even if they were critical), use the discussion as a springboard to explore the reasons for their comments. The results can be interesting, plus it's easier to listen to their opinions than to convince them to accept yours.</p>
<p>The only "lifetime" advantage I can think of is getting those admiring, approving looks from others whenever you mention your alma mater.</p>
<p>""When I was a kid, I thought it was funny to push a sewing needle through the outermost layer of skin on my finger (it's painless, as there are no nerves) and gross people out."</p>
<p>ROFL! I'd forgotten all about doing that!"</p>
<p>I remember sewing my fingers together into a nice web of white thread and skin.</p>
<p>Ain't blood, don't count (well, maybe at Dartmouth....)</p>
<br>
<blockquote> <p>Bottom line, I do unfortunately hear negative remarks from about 50% of the foks who learn where my son is going to school. <<</p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>Wow, I must hang around more polite people, because I never hear those kinds of negative comments (that doesn't mean that people aren't thinking them). </p>
<p>Most people will tell me of people they know who are going/went to the same college; or they say bully for her and say how smart my kid must be; or they ask how an acceptance was/can be accomplished; or (my favorite) they compliment ME!</p>
<p>Not one person in our neighborhood, Silicon Valley, has ever ever said anything other than wow or great when they hear where my D goes to school. FWIW.</p>
<p>I didnt' know Silicon Valley was a "neighborhood."</p>
<p>:p</p>
<p>Where does she go, Alumother?</p>
<p>Aludaughter is at Princeton.</p>
<p>Wow! :)</p>
<p>Zomg!</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>
[quote]
Bottom line, I do unfortunately hear negative remarks from about 50% of the foks who learn where my son is going to school.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>My D never says she attends Dartmouth, like it is suppose to illict some sort of wow response and people should automatically know the school. </p>
<p>She just simply says that she attends to Dartmouth College, I think this sometimes throws people for a loop becasue the most common response we hear is " that's in Massachusetts, isn't it?" :)</p>
<p>She's happy with the response because on campus, self calls (bringing attention to your self) are the social kiss of death while being low keyed and non-descript is a good thing. She's always been a low keyed person so it totally works for her.</p>
<p>Not one person in our neighborhood, Southeast Asia, has ever ever said anything other than huh? or where's that? when they hear where my S goes to school. (Just kidding Alumother :) )</p>
<p>Truly though, Williams is not a household name but those who have heard of it respect it and getting back to the title of the thread the lifetime advantages are monumental.</p>
<p>
[quote]
The only "lifetime" advantage I can think of is getting those admiring, approving looks from others whenever you mention your alma mater
[/quote]
this thread has been winding down for a while now and since hijacking airplanes seems for some reason to be frowned upon in our patriarchal society I will be taking this thread to 7/11(well, rite-aid but 7/11 has greater resonance)where yesterday a complete stranger, and as it turns out, a strange woman, though I didn't know it at the time, said as I walked by "You are just so cute, but I bet you hear that all the time." Now, I was wearing my black overalls and big green rainboots and I had on my old world cap but in fact, I haven't heard that a lot. And well, I had to hide out by the paper towels and plan my visit to the register strategically because she reminded me of Babette from the Gilmore Girls except she was perhaps louder. But it got me thinking about beauty, and the bewildering idea of male beauty, which is a topic that only super-confident males such as me can fearlessly entertain and besides not wanting to miss the opportunity to broadcast this moment of glory, was wondering where I would start such a thread properly so as not to be hauled away in handcuffs for hijackery. Now that I think of it, Sinner's Alley could be the place,.. but that there is a population of dangerous ladies. Oh well, I'm going in. Wish me luck,...</p>
<p>"What response would you recommend for the type of comments I'm receiving? I supppose the "It bothers me when you________" might be appropriate for someone who persists in making nasty remarks."</p>
<p>Close, but use I statements.</p>
<p>This is the formula:</p>
<p>It hurts my feelings when you _<strong><em>, because _</em></strong>.</p>
<p>lmnope,</p>
<p>Hey I live amongst the polite people too . I have never heard anyone make any rude comment regarding my D's school. I have heard some funnies, like when we recently went south for a funeral and an a relative asked her what she was going to do after college, and she said she wanted to go to law school and her first choice was Stanford. The response was, that so great that you want to go to school so close to home in Connecticut where you can come home every weekend. One of my cousins said her D was going to Columbia and the response was "Oh, you're just a little bit aways in South Carolina." Ya gotta take all of it with a grain (ok, a box ) of salt.</p>
<p>I think that sometimes we need to check ourselves and think about the message we are sending out. </p>
<p>If on the one hand we are saying that our dear little Eggbert is attending Joe and Willie college, and what a great school and opportunity it is and in the same breath complain about the lousy FA package, or how much in loans we are going to have to take out, destined to a life of eating cornflakes, the kid down the street with lower stats got into Whattsomatta U and Eggbert didn't, and all the other woe is me stories, then people are naturally going to question why is this school worth all of that? </p>
<p>The message that you are putting out is that "what you think is a blessing is actually a curse" and you're really not happy about it so don't exxpect others to say something positive.</p>
<p>What is the biggest lifetime advantage of Attending Top Colleges?</p>
<p>Your parents will be very proud. </p>
<p>(That's a good thing). :)</p>