<p>I believe the importance of the "feeling" rorosen and montrose refer to can't be underestimated. The social values and aspirations of one's "neighborhood" (in the Silicon Valley sense of the word) will determine which feelings of accomplishment a student will aspire to. Obviously, one's aspirations are hemmed in by ability, opportunity and other factors, but societal and peer groups expectations are a primary determinant.</p>
<p>When I returrned to my home town in another state for a family reunion, I was struck by the difference in the nature of the aspirations of the ambitious young. There, the ideal for an industrious boy would be to work for a while with another plumber, electrician, contractor, accountant, and then eventually take over and become boss or start one's own businesss in that trade. A girl would likely go to college to major in education. Yes, the reunion was a limited sampling of people, but having grown up in that area I can attest to the fact that those particular aspirations were common. Thus, what would feel good to a young man in that environment would be to gradually move up the ladder in a trade until one reached the status of boss. A girl would feel good being a teacher and then raising a family. Ivy League schools are not anywhere on the radar.</p>
<p>Where I live now, the goal for ambitious young people is to get into a very good college (Ivy if possible) and perhaps afterward a good med./law/business/grad school, and in that way open the doors to working in a top company/ law firm/ hospital, etc. It is a wannabe type of place, where Ivy League admissions have not been so numerous in the past so as to be commonplace or expected or even passe just yet. Thus, getting in feels very, very good. And getting in generates envy from those who didn't, which in turn may yield negative comments springing from jealousy.</p>
<p>Travel north into a more elite county in my state, and there you'll find Ivy admissions to have been part of the landscape for years. No doubt it still feels good to win the prize, but it's not as impressive or awe-inspiring since plenty of kids have been getting in for years. Big deal. No one would even bat an eye to hear a child got into HPYS. There, perhaps new or augmented aspirations have taken hold.</p>
<p>Striving toward what you've been taught is a valued goal, is an aspect of socialization. Accomplishing the objective feels good and right because you've been taught it is. It is a kind of comformity. Conformity, though we may claim to despise it, is a glue which holds society together. Its opposite is chaos. People are motivated to work toward that feeling of doing what is good--whatever the particular cultural or peer group definition of good is.</p>
<p>As a parent, I was reluctant to say no to the expensive elite school because I understood that there my son would feel he was doing what was good, given the values of our "neighborhood" and his peer group. I could have insisted he attend the more affordable school, but he wouldn't have ever felt good about it. Facts and arguments are somewhat irrelevant, since, to quote rorosen, it's "hearty".</p>