<p>So I'm starting on college essays, and a common question is how you will be involved on campus. I've stated some programs I will partake in regarding that particular college such as a specific minor, summer research, and studying abroad, and I don't know if this adquately answers what I can offer the college. I've said a lot about what it can offer me through its programs. I get that I can show my personality through my essay but I want to make it more clear to them what I can offer them. My question is: How can I go about showing what I have to offer? Do I elaborate more on my high school experiences and connect that to future programs. A big challenge with this is that the essay itself is only 300 words. Also, what are some good full circle endings because my essays tend to lack cohesiveness. Any thoughts are much appreciated!!! Last thing, I know brown-nosing is frowned upon but specificity is good, so how many names should I drop? I mean like summer programs etc. at this point I have about 4 or 5 and it probably won't end up being more than that.</p>
<p>bump? I hate to do this but I’d really appreciate any feedback. Or even samples of how you included what you could offer colleges. For example, if you had a job and demonstrated persistence would that count as what I can offer to colleges or do I need to be more direct?</p>
<p>I remember writing an essay kind of similar to that topic for Penn. In my opinion, since the essay is only 300 words, focus on only 2-3 programs/extracurricular/interests; that will allow you to go into more depth about what you will bring to each of those. Make sure you don’t make it sound like you’re just listing off your resume. If I were you, I would talk about WHY you’re passionate about these activities and how they have shaped you as a person. Really cliche example: volunteering at the children’s hospital had made me more empathetic and passionate about helping those less fortunate and I would like to bring these attributes to the (blank) club at (blank) university. Of course, try to be creative but I think that’s the general idea you want to convey in these essays!</p>
<p>okay thank you so much! Your advice is awesome!</p>
<p>There is excellent advice here:</p>
<p>[Essays</a>, Admission Information, Undergraduate Admission, U.Va.](<a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html]Essays”>http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html)</p>
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<p>I would not recommend anything akin to the material just quoted. </p>
<p>Instead: Show, don’t Tell.</p>