With D2 we visited a a bunch more schools. Part of it was we had the drives back from dropping D1 at her school that we could use. We gave her ownership of the process and had her pick 2 schools close to the route home.
Also, financial planning. Seems that there are many instances on these forums where the first kid’s college application process is not well informed on the financial front, leading to problems in April of senior year. Presumably, some parents and their younger kids may learn from that to consider the financials up front.
Washugrad, our school has a (stupid) forms for guidance counselors - sounds like what your child was given. I’m not sure who created it, but it didn’t serve D2’s purposes well. She elected to create a “brag sheet” that was similar to a resume: the idea was to make it easy for GC to see her talents. It listed her awards, interests, schools of interest, majors, volunteer activities, etc. GC’s would not write a recommendation without some type of brag sheet, so everyone tried to do theirs in the way that best highlighted their talents. D2 also attached some of her art portfolio in her email. I know the counselor reviewed them, because I happened to introduce myself at an event and he commented on it! I was impressed. As it turned out, D2 had a medical issue in her senior year that necessitated a meeting and several phone calls - he was actually a nice guy and very helpful. In general, I think the counselors get sick of pushing paper, and welcome the opportunity to actually talk to a student who is not in trouble. In our school, it would be very unusual for me to talk with the counselor - they want to interact directly with students.
didn’t waste time visiting a bunch of elite schools. visiting after you get in is wiser.
I learned it is Ok not to have reaches and to trust that my kids that know what they are looking for. I thought S1 undershot but with 3 years between the kids I realized that it really does all work out just fine and let 2 and 3 own more of the choosing process and not be so concerned if they had reaches.
@notinmi–"So, we are now wondering what the school is sending as a profile with the transcripts. School doesn’t rank, doesn’t label any class AP, advanced, or honors, looking at S2 transcript, it lists Calculus, not Calculus AP, just Calculus. Same for all the other classes that students take AP tests "
We ran into this. Private school counselor said “we consider all our classes as honor’s classes” but none were listed as such on a transcript. AP’s were listed at least. She assured us that the profile of the school sent to colleges would provide the leveling.
We spoke directly to flagship U (which gets 1000’s of apps and is very competitive). The answer from ad com was that while that scenario would be ideal and they certainly try…there is also a solid chance it won’t happen unless the application comes tied up in a red flag and presented on their doorstep.
The reason is that a computer does initial sorting of the apps and re-calculates the GPA weighting to the university standard. If a course wasn’t actually marked H (for honors) on the transcript then the added weight wouldn’t be added.
Leaving a substantial chance that your app could be kicked out before anyone even noticed for having a lower GPA.
End of story…we went back to guidance counselor, gave her our findings and names of university ad coms to talk to. After talking with the university, the private school revamped all course listings to reflect honor’s classes and made it retroactive.
I didn’t have to do much differently.
S1 had a plan, followed through, and S2 adapted it for himself. S1 had tippy-top grades and national awards. He was narrowly focused on a few reaches, with our flagship (which is very good for his major) as the financial and admittance likely. Spent LOTS of time on essays and poured himself into them in his unique way. Two of his top choices offered EA, he applied and got into both. With those two amazing schools in hand, he dropped a couple of schools from the list (he was waiting for EA results before submitting) and kept a couple other options open in case financial aid awards were compelling. He got into exactly the four he wanted, had one waitlist surprise and was rejected at the two that were at the bottom of his list.
S2 followed a similar model. Looked at more schools than S1, but was more ruthless about cutting schools that seemed like a great fit for him but where he perceived that the flagship was a better value proposition. Also spent many, many hours on essays – learned from S1 that the 100-word essays are ESPECIALLY hard to write well. Also applied EA at two schools, one of which was in his top two. Decided against ED because he really liked one of his EAs. Got into the EA he really wanted and was relieved, because many of his classmates applied to Yale EA and were crushed and stressed in the last half of December. He got into the schools he wanted, including his two top choices; was surprised that LACs didn’t think he was a good fit for them. (They were right, in retrospect.)
Both decided they would only apply to schools where they could see themselves being happy. Saved a lot of conflict right there. Both had likely schools that were financially reasonable and had merit opportunities. Both went to the non-obvious choice and had few regrets.
What should I have done differently? S2 should have taken a gap year. I wished I’d pushed that harder. He was seriously burned out after IB. His executive function issues were pushed to the limits in HS and it only got worse in college. He could have used that time to regroup and work on some things.
I was very involved with S1 by buying him the Fiske Guide, scheduling college tours, proof reading essays, etc. S1 appreciated the help and eventually got into his top choice through EA.
D2 did everything herself. She did her own college research, scheduled college visits (although I did the driving), wrote her essays without any parental feedback. She also wouldn’t listen to me regarding application strategy of using SCEA/ED1/ED2/. She was accepted SCEA to her top choice. I think this was more a reflection of my kids’ personalities than anything else.
We let DD#1 pursue colleges based on an unusual major and no proof of interest. It really limited her choices and I think she could have gotten merit aid if we had expanded her search. I also didn’t know about some of the automatic merit schools.
She took the first class and promptly switched directions. I call her our guinea pig kid. Hopefully others have also made the most mistakes with the first. It worked out. She ended up at our state school that she hated on first visit, ended up loving it, and it led to her being in the location to meet her now DH.
Weirdly enough, her sister’s test scores and activities are not as high and she received more aid. Our income is up since the first so who knows.
The big thing that we’ll do differently is test prep for ACT/SAT. Scores make all the difference in what you can expect to get in merit money. The other thing I’ll do is relax a bit. We have a better understanding on what we can realistically afford, how much merit money our kid will likely get from various schools and we’ll work within those parameters.
My kids were very different. However, the second time around we spent more time looking at safeties/matches and a cursory glance at a couple reaches.
When the common app opened, d was recovering from foot surgery and as she laid around I had her apply schools in September. We didn’t visit some schools until she was accepted - including the one she ended up attending. I had her apply with the notion of wanting to get in and her feeling comfortable there academically. She really evolved a lot over senior year, from looking at smaller to schools to then larger and larger. The best part was as she evolved there were acceptances from all over.
We paid more attention to cost from the get go. We made the mistake of assuming because she was smart, scholarships and aid would make the schools she was interested in affordable. We learned quickly that things are way different than when we went to school.
Pick two safety schools so the have a choice. So simple. Wish I thought of it with the first child.
“didn’t waste time visiting a bunch of elite schools. visiting after you get in is wiser”
Totally depends on the kid. For my oldest son, the opposite was true. He is smart but wasn’t really putting in top effort until we visited - and he loved - one of those elite schools. He did what he calls a “handbrake turn” to focus in and become the type of applicant that type of school would want. It worked. He got in to that school that inspired him. Without him seeing that goal and being willing to put in the extra effort to get there, I suspect he’d still be smart but not performing at the needed level, so shut out from most elites.
My younger son isn’t like that at all. He’s very diligent and earnest no matter what he does. Not only would that type of goal not inspire him to work any harder than he already is, but that type of pressure would actually probably cause him to be too stressed to function. Unless something changes, we’re not going to tour any of the elites until (if) get gets in.
@milee30, that “handbrake” worked for D1 as well… that’s why with both kids we started tours before junior year. That year is ROUGH and you need all the inspiration you can get. With D2, we hired an individual tutor who did repeated pre/post tests for the ACT prep during Junior year. Definitely made a difference in merit money. Made sure all testing was done before senior year began, but not all kids could/would do this.
My younger WILL apply ED. I wanted my older one to, she just couldn’t commit and did an EA. I let it go because of financial aid, but looking at the figures of how ED is growing, I would rather take the financial chance. It stinks but I am afraid it will be necessary.
^^^is there general agreement that ED really increases the odds of acceptance over RD when you factor in athletes, legacy, and a better pool of applicants (i.e. ED applicants have higher scores/GPA than those that don’t) who will be applying early?
What if s/he does not have a clear first choice, or has a clear first choice that does not offer ED?
I suppose if her first choice doesn’t offer it then she will have to wait, but if there is any way that she can, she will.
My younger will apply ED or at least to more EA options. Would be great to have an acceptance in-hand before the end of the year. This means a bit more research up front, in order to make college visits more thorough & meaningful. With a DS this time around, we will consider LACs which tend to have a fewer male applicants. Common app (including the main essay) will be 100% complete before the start of senior year. I guess in summary, we will push the process forward a bit in an effort to maximize early application opportunities.