<p>If you could do the college decision-making process over again with your sons and daughters, what might you do differently?</p>
<p>Something you wish you had thought more about? </p>
<p>Something that turned out to be more important than your realized?</p>
<p>If your child's absolute best academic fit was at one school and his/her best social fit was at another school, do you go with the academic fit and trust the social will work out?</p>
<p>With our older D, who is a junior in college, she didn’t really have a choice because of the 9 colleges she applied to, she only received three acceptances. Of those three, it was clear which one she had to attend. In retrospect, we realized that she did not apply to enough matches and safeties.</p>
<p>For our current D, not only did we encourage her to apply to many matches and safeties, but she also had that objective, because she didn’t want to experience the same anxiety level older D did.</p>
<p>So current D has lots of choices. It turns out that all the choices are making it difficult for her to decide. </p>
<p>If we had another child, I don’t know what approach we would use. I’m just glad this is the last one.</p>
<p>Three years ago, what resonated with me from so many threads on the parent forum, was that your child will end up where they should be, and they will thrive. I was sure our kid would defy that logic, but alas, they were right!</p>
<p>This may not be the kind of answer you are looking for, but honestly I would try not to be as stressed and try not to stress my student. In the end my older child applied to 4 well respected schools, and was admitted to all 4, but the process was painful for both of us. My second child says our state flagship is fine for him, and the price is right, so unless he changes his mind and has a desire to fly all over the country, we will visit another college or two, he will have to apply to a safety or two, and that will be the end of it.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p>Despite my attempted interference, they both made their own choices. And they chose well.</p>
<p>There’s a lesson here, but it was for me, not them.</p>
<p>I would have picked a different school for my son, but I kept my mouth shut and he made a great decision. Like 1214mom, I stressed way too much and probably stressed my kid some too. I did learn to come here to vent.</p>
<p>I need to keep reminding myself that my chid will thrive wherever she goes, and she’ll be happy wherever she goes. </p>
<p>I am keeping my stress to myself, and my child is happy as a lark and seems confident that it will all work out fine. She’ll start hearing in the next few days from 4 of her schools, and then the others by April 1st. </p>
<p>Thanks for reminding me that it will all work out & that she’ll know which school is best for her, and she’ll flourish.</p>
<p>Best thing that we did was to pick a few rolling admission and early admissions schools. SO nice to have a couple of sure things in pocket before Christmas!</p>
<p>Good point about applying early. My son had 2 acceptances by mid-Devember, so only had to do more applications to schools he would rather go to than those.</p>
<p>Actually, nothing really significant. He choose his final choice and is still pretty happy with there. There was one school I wanted him to visit but he felt he was done doing visits and was happy with the list he had so didn’t want to. </p>
<p>I started pretty early doing research and reading cc. Since I knew the common ap was open in Aug, he filled in all the basic stuff right after it went live, he worked on his EC list and started his essay all before school began in Sept. Getting an early start made it less stressful for both of us.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t do anything different or suggest my kids do anything different. BUT I will say – many of the things the kids did, such as being sure to apply to a few solid financial & academic safeties as well as matches and reaches, were done because of things I read here on CC. The advice from parents who had been through it before was a huge help to me.</p>
<p>Investigate the career services centers of the major your child choses. Some are woefully pathetic, resources slim. My oldest picked school based on major which it was very well respected, however, the career center for that major has been a big disappointment. Kid did all the right things, internships/research even co-published some articles. Did not make a lick of difference trying to gain employment post graduation, if the companies aren;t in their recruiting database, not much of a chance of getting hired.</p>
<p>Second child will go instate public graduate with no loans at all, has a strong alumni base for work and career development while a student in the city which she would like to eventually work.</p>
<p>I think my older son could have had a better list, but he did fine - had four fine choices, made the right one and is in his dream job now. My younger son says I should have had him visit Yale early in high school and he would have had a reason to work harder, I’m not convinced it was ever in him then. He’s matured a lot in college. I’ve been disappointed in some of what I’ve been told about some of his Tufts courses, but for the most part it seems like a good place for him. I can’t think of anything I would have done differently for him.</p>
<p>1.) I would have tried to talk a lot less about college, perhaps agreeing in advance on specific times to talk (and always less than I think we should). We began to talk over Christmas her junior year and I think it felt relentless by Christmas of senior year.</p>
<p>2.) I would have had her take subject tests as she finished classes, starting as early as Sophomore year. I didn’t realize you could pick and choose – or not send at all – until late. If she’s taking Bio as a sophomore and Chem as a junior, take the subject tests then. Less pressure that way.</p>
<p>3.) I wouldn’t have forced a fifth year of foreign language this year. She hates math and Spanish and I strongly pushed her to take both. I’d still have pushed math but wouldn’t have done both. Senior year is stressful enough as is.</p>
<p>4.) I would have forced myself, before the fun of making lists with her, to write down what we believe as a family we could afford to pay each year. I would have had a candid conversation upfront (again before the lists) about how much loan debt my college-bound kid wanted to assume – and would have put that in terms of loan payments post college. Then, I would have picked a handful of very different schools (100% need, state, and a couple of others) and run the Net Price Calculator. These don’t have to be schools I’m interested in – they would have just give me a ballpark before I begin the lists.</p>
<p>5.) I would have understood – really understood – the merit scholarship landscape. </p>
<p>WHAT WE DID RIGHT…
6.) Applied to multiple schools that were early action and/or rolling admissions. We applied to three (wish we had done four or five). She was accepted at two and deferred at one. The wait until the end of March is BRUTAL! They want it over. They kind of hate college by March. Being able to say that you have a few acceptances (even if you don’t have fin aid yet) helps… a little.</p>
<p>7.) I’m convinced that the SAT tutors are responsible for more merit aid for my niece. We are financially strapped and this was a luxury I wasn’t sure we could afford. I gave the tutoring to my niece because I was believed it would save us money later, and it did. </p>
<p>But, really, ask me again in 10 days. I might have a very different perspective.</p>
<ol>
<li>I would have also looked into schools that could provide merit aid.</li>
<li>I would have insisted that kid started brainstorming college app essays in summer before school started.</li>
</ol>
<p>I would NOT have paid app fees that S didn’t complete all parts of the app in a timely manner and saved several hundred in fees. :(. Otherwise things were fine and no regrets.</p>
<p>My son decided to graduate high school in 3 years. A few months into his sophomore year, I discovered CC and learned how generous financial aid had become in recent years at elite schools; suddenly these schools became a real possibility for him. Unfortunately, these elite schools require so much more than just great academics to get accepted – and shoehorning in leadership roles in multiple ECs and community service while juggling as many as 12 classes at once (high school, college, and online) was a daunting task.</p>
<p>He succeeded and is now attending Brown. But he had to work 7 days a week year-round for 20 months straight to do it, and he was very burned out by graduation day, He slept 12 hours a day for most of the first month of his summer vacation. I would not recommend this approach to anyone, no matter how smart and diligent.</p>
<p>Your situation may vary – at my son’s school, he was required to take 7 classes in addition to any college and online classes, so he ultimately graduated with more units than he needed, requiring time he couldn’t spare.</p>
<p>Nothing, I have no regrets.</p>
<p>I got a 2 year degree at a community college and it has served me very well.</p>
<p>D1 had a wonderful opportunity at a perfectly good college and blew it. Right college, just blew it.</p>
<p>D2 is EXTREMELY happy with her college choice.</p>
<p>I think D3’s choice is also going to be a winner.</p>
<p>So, in the end - I think everything worked out great.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>I wish we’d started college tours in sophomore year, or even freshman.</p></li>
<li><p>Also, reviewed the Common App with my S when he was a freshman, or even in middle school. It’s the finish line for the race in many respects, and staring at those blank fields might have been a more direct way to help him understand.</p></li>
<li><p>Likewise, I wish I had reviewed both the FAFSA and CSS forms, understood the differences, and been aware of which colleges used which.</p></li>
<li><p>Done more financial planning for the base year which starts January of the junior year. Some college savings accounts should have been converted to 529 funds.</p></li>
<li><p>Applied EA to every single college.</p></li>
<li><p>NOT applied ED.</p></li>
<li><p>Listened to my S’s requests not to always, always talk about college this year.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Adding one more thing to my list:</p>
<p>Set up a specific college email address that could be used for all college and scholarship related correspondence. That way, if desired, family members could share access. At very least, kids email doesn’t get overwhelmed.</p>
<p>My daughter is a junior and after several episodes of screaming and tears when I initiated conversation about some element of the college admissions process, recently I suggested that we institute the weekly appointment to talk about it. It was suggested in several different venues but we didn’t come to a meeting of the minds about it until just last month. It is much, much better this way even if I have to bring up a specific issue with a deadline between our weekly sessions.</p>