I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I want to go back home and just attend my local community college because there is less pressure to know. I can just take classes I want and not worry about requirements. But how do I know if it’s the right choice
What year are you? How far from completing your degree where you are at? If close, it makes sense to finish what you started and get your degree rather than losing all of that effort. If you just started, or have been failing, then maybe going home and working for a bit instead of going to cc makes sense so that you can figure out what you like before you spin your wheels some more, even at cc. College isn’t the right thing for everyone.
im a first year, i was so sure of what i wanted before i got here but now i have no idea. And it feels smarter to come back home were there is less pressure
Big picture: there’s no wrong answer. Some answers are more expensive than others, but you’ll find your way.
It sounds as though you’re a new college freshman, at a pretty high powered school. Realize that you’re in that school because you’re qualified to be there-- you’re every bit as capable and ready as everyone else, even those who seem to know it all. So if you can stick it out till at least Christmas, great. You won’t lose the money you’ve invested in this semester. And you may find that the place and the pace both grow on you.
Or you may not. You may decide that this situation is intolerable. OK, so call mom and dad, take a deep breath, and have “the talk.” But know that they love you and want what’s best for you.They want you to find success, but not at the cost of your mental or emotional health.
So sleep on it tonight, and call home tomorrow, or over the weekend. Let your parents know how you’re feeling, and ask them for advice.
And know that thousands of kids are, at this very second, questioning their choices. Some will stay, some will go back home. And each will find his or her own way.
One thing to keep in mind is to not get off track. All colleges have degree tracks and if you do not complete the required courses, you will not received the degree/certification and move to the next step.
My sister completed her first semester in community college and stubbornly decided she wanted to take courses she wanted to take. Fine and well but for the time spent, there is no degree and no courses to transfer toward a degree. Fast forward, she feels trapped in a low paying job and feels she wasted the opportunity when she didn’t have responsibilities.
Choose what you like but be stubborn in getting your program completed so that you can reap the benefits.
It is hard to answer without knowing more details, other than to give some general thoughts or examples.
At the most rigorous and selective universities, nearly all of the incoming freshmen were close to the top of their classes in high school. Obviously the majority cannot be at the top of their class in university.
Nearly all universities, and even community colleges, will be more rigorous and difficult than most high schools.
As such, arriving at university can be a major jump up in academic difficulty for many students. I suspect that there are many students right now who are feeling about the same way that you are.
The best thing for you to do right now is to always go to class, show up a few minutes early if possible and sit near the front, always pay attention in class, keep ahead in your homework, keep ahead in your reading, do homework as closely as possible to when it was assigned and not just before it is due, and for classes that are either particularly difficult or particularly interesting seek out the professor during his/her office hours and get additional help. Over time you will most likely find that you CAN handle the additional academic effort that is needed for university. Clearly the admissions office thought that you could handle it.
“So if you can stick it out till at least Christmas, great.”
Exactly. Just think about one semester at this point. If you can make it through the first semester, then you can take a break over Christmas vacation and think about whether or not you are up for doing it for another semester.
Another thing to consider is that, the xollege you’re at sounds like great opportunity ans it sounds like youre mostly feeling afraid of the competition… However if they admitted you, they trust you can do the work - and by giving up that opportunity you’re also showing you don’t trust yourself, you don’t think can achieve.
Finally, Jeep in mind transfers get lousy aid. So, if you have a scholarship at a 4-year college, your odds of getting a similar scholarship later on as a transfer are very low.
What college are you at? Do you feel overwhelmed, homesick, or unprepared?
I think we need a bit more info, OP, or else we’re just throwing advice on the wall and hoping it sticks.
i just feel like home is back home, home is not here. the people i want to be with are over there. I would rather go to community then transfer back later. My life is back home
is it stupid to go back home because I want to be with my girlfriend? I know we are young but I know it’s her I want to be with. I’m not doing it for her, I’m doing it for us. I’m doing it because I want to grow with her. I don’t want the college experience. I want to experience this with her. It’s not like I’m quitting school. I’m still going to go. Being home still, makes it cheaper. I still rather take those classes because of Its less pressure. But a big part is her. Am I an idiot?
Don’t do anything hasty. You sound very anxious and not thinking with your head. Your letting your emotions fuel your decisions. If you and your girlfriend are going to be together and it is meant to be, you being away at college will not change the outcome. In fact, you both should take this time apart to grow into adults and experience living on your own. Keep in touch, see each other during breaks, FaceTime and call one another to keep your connection. Your personal growth, as well as hers, will only make your relationship better and stronger. If you are having a difficult time reconciling your feelings than maybe go to the counseling center and just talk things out with someone. Leaving school to go to a community college with the intention of eventually transferring back seems like an awful lot of trouble and a waste time and money. Making the adjustment to college is difficult. Hang in there.
i know i can do it. i know i can pass the classes but i just dont want to be here. i want to be there
@shookcollegekid May I ask how your girlfriend stands on this issue?
she wants me to come home obviously but she is supportive no matter what I do
she isn’t pressuring me to do anything
Some of us posters are adults who have seen what happens with college romances.
The main thing we see is “The Turkey Drop”. What is that? That is the normal case where the HS couple doesn’t break up and is sure they will make it work long distance…but by the time Thanksgiving comes around they realize that they realize there are different people in the world and they are growing/changing, and that perhaps they would like to have a bf/gf that is nearby. We see it over and over. THat happened to one of my daughters.
For my other daughter, she would take the train and go visit her BF on weekends during freshman year. By June, he broke up with her. She really regretted not making more friends on campus that year.
I know another kid who was the smartest in my daughter’s class and instead of going to Oxford/Cambridge he went to a regional school because of his HS Gf. THat is where she was going. He isn’t with her anymore.
Sometimes a person has their first GF/BF and are so excited to have one they do everything to keep them even if it might not be in their best interest in the long run.
Maybe a local school would also be fine. But ask yourself…what if your GF broke up with you? Where would you want to be? Would you regret the move? Or would you be equally happy either place? Would you get the same opportunities in both places academically?
When you talk about pressure,…what do you mean? Classes won’t be magically easier at another college. If you do just take random classes then what? You won’t have a degree…to have a degree you need to find a major/concentration and take applicable classes. Or if you want to transfer to a 4 year school you would need to take the appropriate pre-req classes for what ever major you want.
like I feel pressure to know what I want because I am in a 4 year. I just feel like in community I can still take my pre-rec but I feel like I still have leniency with the rest of my classes. I would regret it more if I stay and we break up than if I leave and we break up because then I know I did everything I could. I’m still staying until fall semester
I sympathize with your situation but the advice that most adults would give would be to not leave school for a girlfriend. Ultimately, it’s your decision. Hopefully, you will consult your parents before making it. You deserve to be happy and where ever that is, is where you should be. Just make sure that you can live with your decisions without any regrets. You are entering adulthood and this will be only the first of many major decisions you will have to make. Good luck!