It not that I am not doing in school. I started off really well. I aced all my exams. But I’ve gotten to the point where I just feel lost. I do not know what I want to be doing in my life. I started off being a nursing major but I question whether I have what it takes. I just want to quit college and go home. I just want to give up. I feel so alone. I am just full of fear and self doubt. Some things I am afraid off when it comes to nursing is getting sick. What if I get something from someone I am treating? Or what if I don’t know what I am doing and end up making an awful mistake that takes someones else life? What if I cannot handle the stress and pressure that nurses deal with? I am having hard enough time coping with being away from home and now I just really doubt my self and my abilities and I just really do not know what my passion is. When I first thought about going to college, I thought it be this life changing event. That I would be different. That I would actually get to live life. But so far it just feels like I’m in high school still. Or more like boarding school. I just want to find something that I am passionate about and feel happy doing it. I want one of those moments that people say they get where they are just like this is what I am meant to be doing. I feel like I am drowning within myself. I am scared. I feel like I have somehow failed. What do I do? I’ve completely lost motivation and strive like I once had. I was so excited about going to school and now I cannot wait for the day I get to get out.
First thing, get on the phone and make an appointment with your campus counseling office and then the career canter and/or academic adviser. Before you make a decision to quit and leave college, make sure that you do everything you can to try to solve your problems.
What you are going through is a normal reaction to the transition that you are in from childhood to adulthood. Now that college is a reality instead of a fantasy, and loaded with adult level tasks and decisions, you are having a fear reaction. Your body responds to this with fight or flight and you want to flee your situation. You are going through a huge transition in life and there is a lot to it, it takes time, for some people more than others. You are living away from home for the first time, taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and financially, trying to figure out your career path, etc. It is hard, there is a lot to it, it take time. People rarely have a life changing epiphany experience when they go to college or at any time in life–this is something for TV and movies. For most people this process of figuring out life is a much more gradual process.
Please seek counseling to sort out your feelings and to cope with your homesickness and the disappointment of what college isn’t to you. Then work with the career center or an adviser to try to figure out if nursing is the right path for you. Many people your age change their majors, often more than once. Don’t give up the amazing opportunity that education is (even though it feels a bit like high school) without facing realities. College is hard work but it can be amazingly rewarding. It can’t be the fantasy image though, you have to accept the realities, of college and life for that matter.
You are having a fear reaction, but you can’t go backward, if you go home it won’t be the same, you can only go forward. Please use the resources there to figure out what to do about your situation. Also, talk to your parents, they may be able to help too.