With my two oldest (boys) we artificially set the deadline as “Before Spring Break”, because we were NOT going to drag that emotional baggage with us on a family vacation out of the country.
With my last (girl), we let her percolate longer. I’m not sure that that accomplished much, except to nearly paralyze her with decision angst. In the end we also set an artificial deadline (yesterday, because she has a ceremony tomorrow where college decisions are announced, and we knew she didn’t want to be “still deciding” when her name is read).
If I could do it over, I would have insisted on her making the decision before Spring Break, because the extra couple of weeks of “I’m THINKING!” didn’t accomplish anything except annoy the heck out of us.
Yes. Because while it’s in the air, you may discover that you care very much about how it lands – and that you’ve really made your decision but you don’t know it.
Back in the day, one of my daughters was flip-flopping between two comparable schools - location, academic excellence and price tags - until the tail end of April. We had developed an extensive pro/con spreadsheet, in addition to the cost spreadsheets, but she still couldn’t decide.
I wrote out a deposit check for each and put them with the completed response and housing cards in the schools’ two self-addressed, pre stamped envelopes. I then asked her which one should get mailed.
When she still couldn’t answer, I offered to choose for her.
That seemed to have been the motivation she needed, as she made her choice then and there and never looked back.
Correction: she did look back once, only to say that she couldn’t have imagined herself anywhere else.
^^Nope. I think it is a time for kids to be proud of their accomplishments. My kids, who were not academic superstars but worked hard to get into college, were pretty proud to wear their college shirts. They didn’t wait until May since they both knew in the fall. It was one of the only times they got to shine for their accomplishments.
There is a Catholic school in Chicago where they have a uniform, including a striped tie. When the student get accepted to college, that student gets to wear a new tie, with a gold stripe. Proudly. The school has a goal of getting each student into college, so when that happens it’s a good thing.
When we attended one admitted students day, a question was asked concerning whether the school might go to its waitlist soon. The admission rep replied said this was not likely, as historically, more than half of admissions deposits to the school are made during the last week in April. You are not alone and in the end, they all do decide. Hang in there!
My D couldn’t decide until the last minute. Decided, started to call school A and then panicked and hang up. I was in the background drinking wine and eating chocolate. Picture that wine glass that keeps getting bigger in the recent Amy Schumer skit.
Finally, bad parent here, I offered to pay her $100. I waved the money around and said, “decide now and make the call or this goes away”. She decided.
D has decided on her college…unfortunately, she’s made 3 “final” choices in the past 6 days…we shall see…and if her waitlist college were to come through? All bets are off…
