You hit the nail on the head, people shouldn’t have to defend their choices or judge choices of others. All of us need to evolve to be accepting of others, no matter it’s their gender preference, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, career choices, parenting style or what not.
Most of the mental health issues are generated by judgment of humans of each other or fear of it. This is our species’s worst trait but fortunately something we can fix by going easy on ourselves and others. Live and respect other’s right to live in ways which helps them stay sane.
I like the question where did you grow up? (instead of where are you from). People are usually happy to talk about that. Also, unlike some of the others (where do you go to church, where did you go to school, etc.), everybody can answer this one.
Same thing happened today. Husband was asked what he does with me standing right next to him. He replied he was an engineer. I just requested that in the future he respond that we’re both engineers and we run our company together. He apologized and said of course he will do that.
I have never heard that before. I think this us an urban myth.
Germans just can’t do small talk at all. It’s not in the culture. They don’t even have a word for it, they use the English one.
They would want to talk about something that they consider relevant, either to the particular situation or the situation in general - the former might be the weather, traffic in the way, the food, the music, the latter current events in soccer or politics. A job, or the lack of one, would be considered relevant in a business situation, or if it somehow came up otherwise in a conversation.
Otherwise it would be considered as a way to place you socially and financially, which, at a party or other situation where it shouldn’t have relevance, would be considered intrusive.
I guess Germans basically mill around awkwardly at parties!
When I lived in Germany I don’t remember any taboo about asking what you do. What I remember is that if someone new came along the first thing they seemed to talk about was where in Germany they were from based on their accent. The differences seemed minute to me as a foreigner, (think North Carolina vs South Carolina to a Yankee ear.) Even within Bavaria if you drove 60 miles outside of Munich you’d encounter entirely different accents.
No, no taboo at all. It just would be about relevance to the situation. Does it come up naturally or is it literally the first thing someone tasks. The latter would be considered odd.
This doesn’t match our German exchange students at all - not the one we hosted nor those I’ve come in contact with over my years teaching at school (usually 1 or 2 per year from Germany).
I wonder if, because they are teens, they quickly adapt to US ways? Or if they are naturally more outgoing leading to their becoming exchange students.
Actually, as I think about it, it doesn’t match the German travelers we’ve talked with either, but again, we’re likely only to converse with those who are more outgoing and interested in finding out about each other. (Birds of a feather…)
There would be people who could place you within neighbouring villages by accent. With people so much more mobile, that us slowly getting lost. On the one hand, sad. On the other, people wont be considered immigrants for moving 50 miles in their lives.
I think in general national identities are getting watered down. People travel more. But I also imagine that anyone who chooses to be an exchange student will be more outgoing and open to adapting to the new culture they find themselves in. The German exchange student at my high school way back when is a big doer and shaker in the literary world. Very outgoing.
I agree. I think it boils down to there is no stereotype that fits everyone in any country. Humans are different and there are all types everywhere.
We’ve definitely seen that in our travels.
It can be a good thing that birds of a feather flock together at times - bad when bad things happen because of it, but good when they enjoy each other’s company instead of annoying others who don’t like what they’re discussing.
Probably both, but mostly the latter.
And if you think back, are you sure it was small talk you were making, rather than diving quite quickly into interesting topics?
Or is it that national identities are getting watered down among those who travel more (or did so before COVID-19), which is only a subset of the population in a given country?
Whatever it was, it was no different than what their US friends were doing, esp after a couple of months when they were well-included in friend groups.
I don’t think there’s a lot of difference between small talk and interesting topics TBH.
I say that I am a jack of all trades and a master of none (SAHM, Substitute teacher) or I say that I am a servant to our dogs. I do like the answers: lady of leisure and about what? I have to remember those.
As for church, I now say that we aren’t churchy and let it go.
I find that among my kids friends, it really doesn’t matter where they grew up. Their accents are very homogeneous now, more tv anchor than say a pronounced regional accent.
Young people who grew up in the Midwest sound like a young person who grew up in New Jersey for instance. This is not the case for older generations.
And it may be that the kids I meet from my kids are all college educated and I don’t know if that makes a difference. There may be slight differences in certain pronunciations but I really don’t hear a sharp regional accent.
What an interesting point about young folks losing accents while older ones do not. We have a guy in our building from Long Island, and he has been here in Florida for over 40 years. Still has a thick Long Island (I guess? New Yorker? Not sure what to label it) accent.
